Tag Archive for: self confidence

10 Top Tips to Stay Motivated and Focused this week…

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Stay motivated with these 10 motivational tips

Ever seem a little scattered? Do your business goals seem elusive and just out of reach? Are you frustrated at the end of the day because you never completed what you needed to? Are you so scattered that you don’t even have time to read this post? If so, then here are the Top Ten Tips to stay focused this week…

10. Answer the question, “What is the specific result I am focused on achieving this week?”

Without a clear destination you can’t get where you want to go. Imagine getting in a plane and just taking off to “go somewhere.” Use the SMART goals format to define your destination. Simple & Specific, Measurable & Meaningful, As if Now & Action oriented, Reasonable & Realistic, and Timed Towards what you desire. Specific is Success!

9. Get Motivated by Listing all the emotional reasons “WHY” you want to get to your destination.

When a goal is set in place…so are the obstacles that will be needed to be overcome. This will take energy and energy lies in generating the emotional “WHY” we want it. For ourselves, our kids, our spouse; dig down deep into that well of emotion and let it all gush forth. For extra credit, link up your life purpose to the goal and your identity to really get some power.

8. Find New People:

You are where you are, in part, due to the peer group you have around you. My workout buddy in the morning is the best. We both push each other. We are doing the Insanity workout and just this morning as we were completing our workout, he asked if I wanted to get in an additional 15 minute “pump” on the weights. He pushes me even when I’m tired and am ready to be done. I reciprocate by making sure I am at the gym every morning before he is. That way, he knows he has to bring the DVD’s or he will let me down by not showing up. We both add value to each other in different ways.

7. Clear Your Clutter

Get rid of anything that isn’t supporting your success. There needs to be emptiness in order for something new to come into your life. If a woman wants a man in her life but is sleeping at night with extra pillows and her pets…there’s no room for a man in her bed. If a guy doesn’t clean out 3/4 of his closet, get an extra toothbrush, have his/hers towels, and cleans out two dresser drawers, how will there be space for a woman to come into his life? Clear out your junk and make room!

6. Define & Master a Single Core Skill

Focus on changing one specific behavior that will move you towards your goal. You can prepare to walk/run all day with the right shoes, the music, playlists, weather, timing, treadmill or outside, determining your routes, estimating your time; but in the end all you have to master is putting one foot in front of the other for an extended period of time. Master taking one 8-10 inch step at a time with good form and posture.

5. Get comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

Let’s say a person wants to reduce their weight. They will need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. When they “FEEL” uncomfortable because their stomach grumbles and they would normally go for some food, how can they start to feel comfortable with that moment and appreciate it instead of dread it? (This leads to #4)

4. Find a new, more empowering belief

Using the example above, when the stomach rumbles and they start to “FEEL” uncomfortable, insert a new belief for the old one. If the normal process is: stomach rumbles, the person says, “I’m starving to death and gotta eat” interrupt that self talk with, “excellent, that means that I must be thirsty” and then take a new action and drink water. (Sounds silly but I did that when I lost 60 lbs over 20 years ago and it still serves me to this day!)

3. Create Small Reminders

If you have a bigger goal of a trip, weight loss, business goals, etc. remember that where your focus goes your energy flows. Change your passwords to reflect your goals: ToughMudderNov2018, StBarth2017, CollegePaidinFull, Beachretirement2035, and BE CREATIVE. Put pictures on your mirror, in the shower, above your bed, in the bathroom, dash of the car, create reminders everywhere. These small reminders will help you stay focused and on track.

2. Create Quiet time to Focus

I recently read an article stating the main reason most small businesses fail is because of lack of planning. Strategic, purposeful thinking can only be done in a quiet setting and it should be done consistently (preferably a block of time weekly and even daily!) In order to create this space…find somewhere outside of your normal office, etc. (I have a client who uses a study room at his local library, no one finds him there) This will avoid the trap of the business running the person instead of the person running the business. During this scheduled quiet time see point #1.

1. Master Fear Management

I don’t care if you are the CEO of a Fortune 50 or a small solopreneur. In today’s competitive market the need to be innovative, creative and flexible creates HUGE uncertainty. Uncertainty breeds FEAR. Fear can be present due to change happening in the negative, ie going bankrupt and also the positive, ie problems that arise from rapid growth and expansion. Master Your Fears. Embrace them everyday because if you succumb to FEAR it will only lead to low self confidence, being motivated by necessity instead of possibility and worst of all, create a scarcity mentality. MASTER FEAR by doing at least one specific task everyday that you fear the most in your business. Eat Uncertainty and Fear for Breakfast to earn your dessert after dinner.

BONUS TIP:

Get an unconditional form of support to keep you on track…like an Executive Business Coach. (You know I had to plug that in!) Regardless of whether it’s me or not, no one earns a Grammy, an Emmy or an Oscar and stands on the stage during the acceptance speech and says, “I DID IT ALL MYSELF!” They all have people to thank…people who believed in them, provided support in those troubled moments of doubt, uncertainty and FEAR and pushed them to stay focused on their dreams and goals.

FOCUS!

To your continued success,

James

SPECIAL UPDATE: Success or Failure as a Small Business Owner or Coach

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Success or Failure? How many small businesses will fail in the first year?

According to the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) during the Startup Awards, “Up to one fifth of the 400,000 businesses that start up each year fail within the first 12 months of operation. This gives an approximate figure of 80,000 businesses failing annually.”

I can tell in one question if you will be one of the 80,000…

If someone asks you, “What do you do for a living?” What is your response?

If you are a small business owner and answer with anything less than, “I am an entrepreneur and business owner,” you will be one of the 80,000. This is why…

I had the pleasure of a total coaching immersion with Tony Robbins for over 10 years. During that time, I coached thousands of people that were handed to me by their sales department.

When I branched out on my own, I spent my first two years trying to convince people what a great “Executive Business Coach.” I struggled everyday to convince prospective clients of my skill and experience. As I joined networking group after networking group and the ranks of other struggling small business owners; I met photographers, writers, massage therapists, event planners, financial advisors, real estate agents, website developers and even tattoo artists. And “what they did” was exactly how they introduced themselves.

I also joined professional organizations like the International Coaching Federation (ICF) where I heard coach after coach tell me how they always knew they wanted to be a coach. They knew it since they were 6 years old helping their friends solve their problems on the playground at school. And guess what? None of them had a business, they were all coaching part time and starving for clients.

THE KEY TO SUCCESS:

My Executive Business and Coaching practice turned around 180 degrees the day I committed to be an entrepreneur who owned a coaching practice. I LOVE COACHING and I love my clients and finally figured out that I needed to be a successful entrepreneur and business owner first, so that I could have all of the clients that I wanted.

Think about it this way, if you were the greatest public speaker in the world and only focused on speaking skills, when you showed up with your motivational speech, you would be talking to empty chairs! Getting people in the seats so you have someone to speak to requires entrepreneurial skills, not speaking skills.

Being an entrepreneur means taking on an entirely different set of skills than that of your professional skill. As a person continues to develop key business and marketing skills they can grow their business. Without them, they become just another statistic!

If you are struggling as a small businss owner or coach and want a step-by-step process to learn the entrepreneurial business skills needed to grow your business, call today to find out how! www.businessmarketingforsuccess.com is a 52-week sales and marketing program to get you all the business you can handle and get people in the seats. It is the “HOW” to do it!

Visit www.businessmarketingforsuccess.com and sign up to receive 4-exciting videos showing you the first steps forward to Success Today! I WANT TO SEE YOU SUCCEED!

To your continued success,

James M Murphy
Enrepreneur, Owner Evolution for Success
Premier Coaching Practice

Venice: From Pain to Possibility to Prosperity…

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Where is there PAIN in your life Right Now?

Most people will do almost anything to avoid it. How many times have you swept those deep feelings back under the rug. However, Pain can lead to Possibility which can lead to Prosperity. Venice, once the wealthiest city in the world is a testament to that ideology.

As Attila’s huns surged through Northern Italy raping and pillaging the Roman Empire, many refugees sought protection on the 118 deserted and desolate swampy islands of the Adriatic Sea. Even though the land was over 2.5 miles from shore and not able to support trades like agriculture; creativity and human ingenuity eventually took over.

Fast forward a few generation and Venice was born. With a newly develop transportation system of over 200 canals and 400 bridges it was a hub for world trade, power, and riches from all over the globe.

Pain in life is not something to be avoided, there is power and energy in it. The key is to take that power and energy and convert it to good use. Use that energy to build and create something better for yourself and others. There is true POWER in that ability.

Every great person in history, every movie ever made, begins in pain. Look at every Disney movie made, the opening scene usually has a parent dying or some tragedy. Pain is not to be shoved away into the dark recesses of our mind and body never to see the light of day. It is to be harnessed to build, create, inspire and give back to others in some way shape or form. You too, can move from Pain to Possibility to Prosperity and make a difference in the world!

If you need support with the transitioning Pain to Possibility to Prosperity in your business, Evolution for Success Executive Coaching can help. Call today for your personal one-on-one “Success Now” session.
(919) 792-0085

Or, if you know someone in Pain, a referral is the greatest gift you can every give.

You have problems, compared to what…?

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Bad Monday

Are you having a bad day? I thought I was one day last week. I was going to be late for an appointment and I was really frustrated since being late is one of my pet peeves. My frustration level grew as I turned off the highway and my forward progress came to a screeching halt. In front of me was an accident and a long line of backed up cars. As I took the detour in front of me, I snapped the picture you see in the post above. An interesting thing happened as I drove past this accident. Somehow, seeing the plight of this truck driver, putting myself in his shoes, and thinking about the phone call he was going to have to make to his boss put my problem (frustrated by being 10 minutes late) into perspective.

One of the greatest questions I ask clients when they are frustrated and angry at a problem in life is, “OK, its bad, but compared to what?” As human beings, it is easy to get wrapped up in OUR life, OUR problems, OUR perspectives, and OUR beliefs. To jumpstart the process of getting a person out of their OWN way so they can work to a solution, just ask, “Compared to what?” When we shift our attention to the plight of others, the challenges of others, the life circumstances of others (that we can relate too) it helps to put things into a different perspective. When you can shift your “referential index,” how you are referring to something, with a different perspective, it lessens the emotional impact so you can think more clear and see the opportunities to think or do something different.

It is not to be used as a justification for NOT doing something different but a means of getting unstuckk so you can find a new solution and take action to achieve a different outcome. Next time you are stuck and think something in your life really stinks…just state the problem and then ask yourself, “Ok, this stinks but compared to what?” So you thought you were having a bad day, compared to what?

In the end, my ten minutes late was nothing compared to the delays this driver faced, his boss faced, and their clients and their customers may have faced. It’s good to keep life in perspective.

If you are feeling stuck and frustrated with your job, career, relationships or finances…CALL today to schedule your Introductory Strategy Session to start moving forward again. (919) 792-0085

To your continued success,

James

Build Unstoppable Confidence: Lead the Troops

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Develop Unstoppable self esteem & self confidence in your team!Self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth are one of the principles of “self-help” that are constantly spoken, written, and talked about. Let’s take a look at what people really mean when they say they need more of them. What do people really mean when they say, “I need to work on my self-confidence?”

When I hear client tell me they need more self-confidence and self-worth, what I hear them really expressing is that they need a little more self-competence. Confidence is about having the BELIEF, or assurance that something is the way that it is. The word confidence is normally followed by the word, “in…” Most people want more confidence in their own self or in knowing they can perform a task. Who would turn down feeling more confident? Being confident unlocks other empowering emotional states, like courage and boldness that are vital in the pursuit of a worthy goal.

Quick example, let’s say a client wants more self-confidence in speaking to women. In order to be self-confident and to speak to a woman, he has to have spoken to women in the past in such a way that he remembers his successes at it. No past successes equals no feelings of self-confidence. What he really needs to build and develop are the skills to become more competent in speaking to women. When he becomes more competent at speaking to women, naturally, his confidence level will rise. While self-confidence is the BELIEF in the ability to perform a task, competence is built through the PROCESS of taking the actions necessary, suitable or required to complete a task.

We all have the need to grow. Our bodies are muscle machines that are built to take on resistance. Every muscle, fiber and tendon in our body is meant to handle stress and strain. When we take on resistance, we naturally become stronger. We build more muscle, the more we experience resistance. The less resistance we take on, the more we experience atrophy. We become weaker and weaker. People who want more self-confidence are simply not competent at doing something they really want to do.

However, have you seen the person who succeeds and still appears to have a low self-confidence? How does that happen? While developing competence at a task, there is trial and error; sometimes things work and sometimes not. If our hero mentioned above gets the courage to speak to a women ten times, there may be only two attempts that produce a positive result. Building a healthy level of competence comes on focusing and celebrating on the two things out of ten that were done RIGHT. That goes against all human nature. If you got a 97% on a school test, would that be enough, or would you be inclined to search through everything you got right to find that one question you got wrong?

Competence is built by focusing on what you did that was the best, and learn/forget the rest. Most people would never acknowledge the 97% of what was right on the test in their pursuit of finding what they missed. You’ll notice a pattern that all people with low self-confidence can always tell you what they have done incorrect, wrong, or poorly.

Self-confidence is the result of being Competent in a specific task or achievement. Competence is built by accepting challenges in the pursuit of a worthy goal; a person has to be willing to push through resistance to become stronger. As new actions are taken, staying focused on celebrating what is done right, (not wrong), will lay the foundation for competence and ultimately an unshakeable feeling of confidence.

To lead more effectively today:

  • Identify specific areas where a person wants to be more self-confident
  • Support them to develop a strategy to become more competent
  • Focus on catching people “doing things right” (they’re probably focusing on what’s wrong)
  • Celebrate competent actions, (they will be uncomfortable doing this, so push through)

 

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Self-Confidence, The Side Benefit of Keeping Your Promises

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One of my clients, an extremely successful entrepreneur and businessman for whom I feel tremendous respect, closes every coaching session with, “I will strive to complete my campaign in its entirety, you have my word, and I have my word.” To which I respond, “And, I love your word.”

What is so powerful about that sentence is “the word.”  The secret power of the “Word” is the underlying commitment to achieve what is on his list no matter what the cost before our next coaching session. Remarkably, he has completed his campaign for the last straight 108 weeks of coaching. How powerful is that? What’s the secret?

Over the last two years, things have come and gone on his weekly commitment sheet. Some have stayed the same but many others have come and gone as he completed them. What has been consistent is that he has kept his commitment and word to himself.

At the core of all self-confidence, power and success is the ability to follow through and do what you say you are going to do long after the excitement and passion of the moment passes.

And, why is that so powerful? Because when you set a commitment or goal, you have to automatically put your obstacles in place.

Specifically, you will always have to overcome some combination of the following challenging emotional states to keep your word: fatigue, discouragement, feeling inadequate, loneliness, overwhelm, doubt, nervousness, humiliation, incompetence, frustration, resentment, powerlessness, anger, and even jealousy of others.

The power of self-confidence and keeping your word is learning to embrace these emotional states as they come up, and accept them as appropriate and warranted given the goal that you are pursuing. If you stop trying to run away from these negative emotions,  you are already half way towards the successful completion of your goal. The power comes through pushing through those disempowering states. Even better, get excited about them! Anticipate these emotions and welcome them as part of a natural component on your path to victory.

I recently supported another high level business executive who had an interesting belief about what needed to happen in order for him to be successful in his job. He needed to be put into a position where he was expected to do the impossible, solve that challenge when no one else could, and in his words, “face that ugly beast that no one else could kill.” He gets paid handsomely to do such valiant deeds!

Successful people know how to embrace and use fatigue or moments of indecision and take responsibility. They create a link that takes them from the disempowering state to a more resourceful one.

My client has powerful days because he conditions himself to push through obstacles and push through what most people would consider disempowering states to create an incredible business and life.

In many ways, your success –not only in your business, but in your personal life too, is directly proportional to amount of challenging emotional states you can overcome on a daily basis in the pursuit of your goals. Not surprisingly, that’s also directly proportional to the amount of self-confidence you will have. That’s the power of keeping “your word.”

 

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9 Quick Tips To Boost Your Self Esteem

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Feeling good about yourself is a wonderful feeling. So why don’t we do it more often?

True and lasting self-esteem is a combination of feeling good at about yourself for something specific you have done and a more permanent deep-seated feeling of self-worth. That deep-rooted belief is based on the conclusions you draw about yourself over time. It’s something that can be developed and fostered.

Here are 9 simple tips to feel better about yourself and grow your self-esteem.

 

 1. Focus on your character, not simply your achievements. Challenge yourself! Take on project you find a bit intimidating and give yourself a chance to astonish yourself! Give yourself a chance to prove to yourself that you are in fact quite remarkable in many ways. You may not conquer every challenge, but each time you tackle something and overcome obstacles it provides another opportunity to reinforce and acknowledge positive aspects of yourself. And when you do overcome those challenges, resist the temptation to minimize the effort and strength it took to overcome them. For example, praise the perseverance it took to finally get that new job or the commitment it took to follow through and make that sale or stick to your exercise plan. Achieving is never an All-or-Nothing experience: you will make mistakes along the way and fall off the wagon from time to time. Those setbacks don’t define you, the character you show and develop along the way does.

 

2. Be wary of expectations. Once you have achieved a goal, it’s natural to automatically take it for granted and raise the bar. That’s a good thing! We are programmed to want more. Yet, make sure you “go for more” in a realistic way. It is more feasible to go from running a 5K race to a 10K race, instead of from a 5K race to a marathon. So, give yourself plenty of opportunities to succeed by making your goals realistic.

 

3. Acknowledge your successes. Take a moment and pat yourself on the back for what you have done –now and in the past. If you have not listed all the successes in your life to date, you will probably forget them. Stop and take stock once in a while. Recognize your past successes. Try something different and write them down. It’s called positive stacking. Just as we sometimes stack negatively and start focusing only on the negative, you can consciously direct your mind to focus on the long list of things you have accomplished that show your character. And don’t fall in the comparison trap. Being competitive can be a great motivator, but don’t let comparisons define your worth.

 

4. Stop the negative self-talk. Stand guard at the doorway of your mind, for what you let in is what you become! People who feel good about themselves, talk and think good about themselves. Watch out for negative thought patterns like jumping to negative conclusions about other people’s actions for instance and assuming they are judging you negatively (most of the time, their behavior is not about you!). Challenge your negative or flawed thinking. Just because you feel incompetent doesn’t mean that you are. Refrain from –even jokingly– putting yourself down; over time, you will start believing your self put-downs. When you realize you are engaging in negative self talk, systematically interrupting your pattern will pay off! And for goodness sake, stop saying, “I’m Sorry!

 

5. Master a skill, pastime, sport, or other life interest. Become good at something that you love and are interested in. Mastery of anything is a key ingredient in maintaining a high opinion of yourself. So master something, anything that makes you feel special!

 

6. Pay attention to the image your project. Although it may sound simplistic, by acting as if you have self-esteem, you are sending positive messages about your self-image to the subconscious. This is a form of self-respect and positive self talk that become who you are –just like habitual negative self talk became ingrained. So, don’t neglect the way you look and what you do with your body. Dress nicely, pay attention to your personal grooming, work out so you have some physical energy and pep. Be mindful of your physiology so that you walk, stand, and sit as if you felt sure of yourself. Smile. Act the part until it becomes habitual.

 

7. Focus on what you can control and influence, not what you can’t. Many things in life are out of our control and influence. However, focusing on what is within your control and influence allows you to feel more in control of your life. Always look to take positive action on what is within your control and influence and let go of the rest.

 

8. Develop a supportive social network. We all rise and fall to the level of our peer group. If you are not involved in a positive and non judgmental peer group, get a new one! Don’t be a stepping stone for someone else’s self-esteem. You don’t need to let yourself be made less of so that someone else can feel good about themselves. Surround yourself with a peer group that has the mindset, the values, and the interests that you do.

 

9. Help others. Stop thinking about yourself so much! Focus your mind outside of yourself. It is always worthwhile to make others aware of their worth. In fact, make it a habit to notice the positive in others so it becomes more natural to notice the positive traits in yourself. But more importantly, when you make a difference in someone else’s life, it is easy to feel great about yourself. Allow yourself the satisfaction that giving brings. And as a bonus, when they thank you for being part of their life, don’t be too quick to push it off or minimize it for the sake of humility. Accept their compliment as an extra affirmation of you with a simple, “Thank You!”

 

Whatever a person believes about themselves is true. Self-esteem is not something you are born with. It is a muscle that is built with time, consistency and conditioning! It takes time to integrate new practices into your life but eventually they become what you do, then show up in what you have, and eventually they become your identity as who you are.

 

This article was first published on http://ezinearticles.com/?9-Quick-Tips-To-Boost-Your-Self-Esteem&id=6544585, and shared here because it’s awesome. For more tips and strategies about increasing your self-esteem, confidence, motivation and personal effectiveness, go to http://www.evolutionforsuccess.com. James Murphy is a personal development expert as well as an executive and life coach. He can be reached directly at 919-745-7569.

As Featured On EzineArticles

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