How do you determine if your goal is worthy of your focus and hard work?Would you like to reach your goals faster? Here are 2 steps that are critical to achieving them much quicker! I’ll give you a hint: the key to success lies in your emotions.
Napoleon Hill wrote one of the most classic books ever written on success and achievement, “Think & Grow Rich.” One of the reasons this is such a classic book is that he used the principle of modeling. Modeling is the process of studying how an outcome is repeatedly achieved.
Hill found that the successful achievement of any goal was based on the following four steps.
1. Connect with your Purpose or Burning Desire
2. Believe and Trust in yourself and the value of your actions
3. Organize a plan of action and even more importantly take action
4. Never Give Up! Perseverance does pay off!
To make this process effective, it’s crucial to do all of the steps in order and be absolutely consistent.
When most people see someone achieve something they themselves want to achieve, many times the temptation is to ask, “How did you do that?” But steps number one and two are 100% emotional.
Until you figure out why you want to achieve that specific goal; what it means to you; what it will add to your life and what it will cost you to not achieve it, knowing how to do it will not significantly increase your chance of reaching it. Connecting emotionally with your drive is essential.
Once you are emotionally connected with the “WHY” of your goal, it’s time to put some focus on your faith and belief in yourself as well as your belief in your strategy. Trusting in your plan doesn’t mean not being open to evaluating its effectiveness periodically. Quite the opposite: you need to make adjustments as needed which is what step 3 is all about. But it does mean that you have to truly believe that your actions can and will lead to the results you want. Self-doubt is distracting at best and has the potential of being crippling.
It takes time to stop and reconnect to the emotions associated with your goals. It’s a step we often skip in our hurry to get to the end goal. But it’s precisely what will help you achieve your goals much quicker. That initial step will ward off self-sabotage. It will help you stay motivated when the initial burst of energy is long gone and you are left with the hard work of persevering.
The key is to reaching your goals faster is to address the emotional component of goal setting before you move to the logical and practical aspect of reaching them.
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Feeling unmotivated? Uninspired? Emotionally or even physically tired at the very thought of rolling up your sleeves and taking action?
Here is a classic situation. You want something or you know you need to do something –whether it’s to get in shape or redouble your efforts to network in order to nurture more leads and grow your business. But no matter how much “you get it” intellectually, you’re in a slump. The drive’s not there. You can’t seem to get pumped up to tackle your goal with any energy let alone passion.
We’ve all been there at some point. But getting motivated is actually not as hard as it may seem.
Here are 7 simple steps to get motivated to kick ass and take names!
1- Change your physiology! Motion creates emotion, there is no two ways around that fact. You need to get some oxygen pumping in order to feel motivated. So straighten up in your chair, shoulders back, take some deep breath in and out. Or better yet, get up, move around the room. Turn on some music; go for a run; do anything to wake your body up and to “get in a peak state” as Tony Robbins would say. Now that you are awake and your blood is pumping…
2- Get associated with your goal! Put some emotion into it! Take 2 minutes and visualize yourself achieving your goal; dropping those 30lbs, winning that contract, landing that new job… close your eyes and feel what it will feel like. Really see it, hear it, feel it! Give your subconscious something to look forward to! The more senses you get involved in this process, the better.
3- Make a plan. Sometimes, the lack of motivation comes from feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work involved in accomplishing the task you set for yourself. If that’s the case, then it’s crucial you chunk down or break down what needs to be done into manageable “bites”. But even if overwhelm is not the main stumbling block, don’t skip this step. Make a plan with clear action steps and benchmarks so you can clearly assess your progress and celebrate all your “mini victories” on the way to your final destination. Success builds on itself, and by leaving the celebrating to the end, you rob yourself of the momentum the feeling of victory provides. So make a plan and celebrate as you go!
4- Commit and get leverage on yourself. Commit to yourself, commit to your loved ones, commit to your business partner… back yourself into a corner if you must; give yourself no other option but to do what you said you were going to do. Fo some, committing to yourself is enough, for others it means making your commitment public so you place additional pressure on yourself. And for others still, making a commitment can take the form of a competition, a bet with a friend or colleague, or even a stranger in cyberspace. If you are dealing with a fitness goal, get on Nike + and sign up for a challenge on their website in which you keep track of your mileage and compete against other runners. If you are looking at a business situation, make a bet with one of your peers. Apply enough pressure on yourself that you feel like you can’t back out. Speaking of peers, colleagues, and friends…
5- Get support! Some goals are such that they lend themselves to setting up a buddy system to create some accountability and maintain your motivation. But even if your specific goal doesn’t really lend itself to that type of support, find a different way to get it. Find inspiration from others who have succeeded at that specific task. Get pointers from experts in the field, or model others who have experienced massive success in that area. Surround yourself with a peer group that supports your endeavor. Hire a coach, enlist the support of a religious figure if that’s appropriate, seek out a mentor, or get support from your spouse. Get support somewhere!
6- Stay excited! In order to get motivated, you need to get associated with your goal. In order to STAY motivated, you need to stay associated with your goal. Reserve a few minutes each day to get your blood pumping, reconnect with your goal and see where you are in regards to your plan. Experiment with what works for you: I have clients who use affirmations each morning or each evening, others use their morning workouts to focus their mind on what it is that they want, why they want it, how they will feel when they get it, and review their plans. See what works for you, maybe it’s turning on some heart pumping music in your car or in your office and spending 10 minutes pumping yourself up.
7- Once you get there Celebrate! You’ve celebrated (hopefully) each intermediate steps on the way, now is time to celebrate in a big way! Anchor your victory and reinforce your internal belief that YOU CAN get motivated, YOU CAN succeed and in fact, YOU DID!!! It’ll make your next challenge easier to tackle as you start associating goals as opportunities to succeed rather than insurmountable or exhausting/intimidating endeavors.
Ready to jump off that couch yet? Excited to make things happen? Getting motivated is simply a matter of tapping into the emotions you will experience when you achieve your goal.
For more tips and strategies about increasing your motivation and personal effectiveness, boosting your self confidence and developing a clearer focus go to www.evolutionforsuccess.com. James Murphy is a personal development expert and executive coach. He can be reached directly at 919-745-7569.
Are you sitting on the sidelines waiting to get in the game? Ask yourself, “What do I want to have right now?”
How you answered the question could be the difference between success and disappointment. Successful people have a specific outcome in mind as opposed to an emotional state.
An outcome is a specific result that you are focused on achieving. It is the left brain answer to your question. In land navigation every point has a specific grid coordinate. A person on a trip to Hawaii needs a specific grid coordinate to tell them exactly where they are starting from, where they are in the process of the flight, and how they will know when they have achieved their final destination. Without the grid coordinates a person is easily lost. Our lives are the same way. It is important to be able to answer this question in order to define your outcomes, “What is the specific result that I am focused on achieving today?”
A state is the exact opposite. It is a right brain answer and will be defined as value (feeling word) and is 100% emotional. Using the Hawaii example, a state is what you are going to be feeling once you step off of the plane: rest, relaxation, peace, quiet, tranquility, etc. It will be the emotional experience that is defined by your achieving your outcome.
Why is this distinction important? Because of one simple principle: Motion Creates Emotion. Motion creates momentum and momentum is power, energy and force. The reverse is not automatically true. Emotion does not always lead to motion. Do you need proof? I will give two words, lethargy and depression.
A person who is looking for a new experience must define their outcome; choose to take action towards its achievement so the desired emotional state will be produced.
So, if you hear someone talk in a language pattern of, “When I feel happy, then, I will get up and go walk” or “Once I get past this tired feeling, I will get to the gym,” they never will get to the emotional states that they most desire from life. However, if they would bet up and go for a walk first, chances are they would feel happy and if they get to the gym to work out, they will probably get past the tired feeling.
Ask yourself, “What do I want? What’s my outcome; What is the specific result that I am focused on achieving?”
Having the answer to these question is critical to your success.
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It’s easy to loose focus on your end goal when all you see is obstacles in front of you.
When we lived in Arizona, one of my neighbors was a firefighter for the City of Tempe. One day, we started reminiscing about our respective training experiences; my Marshal Service days, his firefighter training. One of the training exercises they conducted was to place a dark gray cover on the inside of their air mask to simulate being blinded by smoke and then practice moving in buddy teams to clear a home, conduct a rescue, or practice putting out a fire. They had to rely on something outside of what they could immediately see, in order to succeed.
I guess that is true in many professions, take airline pilots for example. Have you ever really noticed how small the windows are in the front of the plane? When it is raining, dark, or they are in the clouds, how functional are the windows in helping them stay on course? Many times they have to fly blind.
Invariably, these same challenges happen in the pursuit of dreams and goals. Our vision can become blocked or clouded by obstacles and we can not see where we are going. What is there to rely upon in these times of need?
Staying focused on several things will allow forward movement towards our dreams.
* First, stay focused on the end goal, NOT what is blocking the line of sight. Expect and anticipate the moment when you will lose sight of where you are but don’t lose sight of the end goal. Anticipate the challenges.
* Second, focus on core training principles, habits and behaviors that have allowed you to succeed in the past.. This helps to control the fear, anxiety, nervousness, or other emotional states that may be experienced when obstacle blocks your view. To keep your focus, remember your support team, your co-pilot or buddy you are entering the burning house with.
* Third, rely on the fundamental instruments of your profession. Revert back to using the basic tools of your trade to stay on track and measure success. The firefighter relies on his boots, jacket, helmet, and breathing apparatus. The pilot relies on the compass, altimeter, fuel gauges, wind gauges and communication equipment. What are the instruments of faith you can rely upon in times of need?
When you are lost suddenly and can not see where you are going in pursuit of your goals. STOP, take a moment and reflect on what you can rely on. Who can you turn to in your buddy team for mental, emotional and spiritual support? No one ever achieves a goal without the help from someone who believes in them. What are the tools of your trade that you can always rely on without hesitation? Is it your brilliant mind, your technical aptitude, your emotional intelligence? What are your unique abilities that you take for granted everyday?
And, lastly, as you move through the inferno of obstacles or are blinded by the rain, clouds, and storm, keep faith and focus on your end destination. No fire can rage on forever and every storm eventually brings sunny days.
Remember, there are so many more resources available in the world to achieve your goals than are in your direct line of sight. It would even be exciting to put the screen in your visor and move into your obstacles once in a while. There is newfound confidence and freedom when the exercise is over and it has been a job well done.
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Sometimes, Ignorance is Bliss…
I heard a really interesting story the other day that you may find some value in when it comes to your personal development, attaining goals, and living life.
There was a man once who really wanted something in life. Driving down a country lane to get there, he accidentally took his eye off of the road and drove straight into the ditch. Fortunately, a local farmer was passed by thirty minutes later with a horse.
“Could your horse pull my car out of the ditch?” asked the driver.
“Buddy’s a Clydesdale,” said the farmer, “let’s see what he can do for you.”
The farmer hitched Buddy to the car and said: “Pull, Blackie, Pull!” Buddy didn’t move an inch.
Then the farmer said, “Pull, Sampson, Pull!” Buddy still didn’t move an inch.
The farmer said again, “Pull, Jackson, Pull!” And still, Buddy didn’t move an inch.
Then the farmer yelled, “PULL, BUDDY, PULL!!” And Buddy pulled the car effortlessly out of the ditch.
The grateful driver was confused. “Let me ask you a question,” he said, “why did you keep calling Buddy by the wrong name?”
“Well,” said the farmer, “you see, Buddy is blind. And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try.”
When I sit down with people in a life or executive coaching session and we define a compelling future for them, one of the first thing that shows up is their desire to know exactly what to do in order to reach the goal.
However, if someone really knew all of the problems, challenges, and emotional stress they were going to have to go through to achieve their goals…many would never even start! If someone really knew, in advance, all of the challenges they would have to face to run their first marathon, get that next job, or find that dream spouse, they would be so overwhelmed they would probably never start.
So, sometimes not knowing all of the obstacles and challenges that are going to happen in the pursuit of a goal makes the term, “ignorance is bliss” true.
Successful goal achievement comes from taking on the challenges one day at a time, asking for help when you get off track, and engaging faith to access your untapped potential in the face of adversity. And no matter what, keep pulling even when you can’t see!
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January is a time when memberships to local gyms skyrocket, New Year’s Resolutions are made, and peoples’ attention shifts to what they want to achieve in the next year.
Most people get excited about setting goals but few maintain that excitement through February and March.
I have a favorite saying: “When you set a goal, you automatically put all of your obstacles in place.” That part is not as exciting since the bigger the goals, the bigger the obstacles.
But, what if overcoming obstacles could be exciting?
What could a person achieve then?
What if people were made to overcome obstacles?
What if it was our natural instinct?
What if it was really all about overcoming obstacles to have a great life instead of achieving the goals?
The loggerhead turtle is only about two inches long at birth. It is stuck at the bottom of a hole two to three feet deep in the sand. It has to find a way out of the shell, past 40-60 other turtles, and dig upwards in the sand to open air. After it reaches the top of the hole, it has to orient itself to the water and travel up to 50 yards to get to the surf. Then, it is washed back up onto the beach an average of three times before it makes it out to sea. And that’s on a good night; If they don’t make it to the water before the sun comes up, they can become dehydrated and bake on the beach, get disoriented and go inland, or become breakfast for seagulls, vultures, and large fish. Less than 1% of all hatchlings will make it to adulthood. And yet, they can’t help but meet every challenge with excitement. As they make it to the ocean, they actually speed up!
It is that excitement that allows humans to feel alive, get strong, build confidence, and achieve greatness. It is how the 4-minute mile barrier was broken, the space shuttle was developed, the Berlin Wall came down, and the pyramids were made. It is how you learned to crawl, walk, and read this letter. People are preprogrammed to thrive on obstacles, overcome them, and have dynamic lives as a result.
It is not how long a turtle lives that makes a difference in life, but the difference he makes by living every second of life. Living a true life means living a life of overcoming obstacles to achieve and become more. It is a part of our natural instinct. Success in life is directly proportional to the obstacles that are overcome. So set some bigger goals this year! Set some fantastic obstacles for yourself!
Loggerhead Turtles hatchlings. Kiawah Island, SC. Chances of seeing them hatch…one in a million!
Are You Feeling Stuck?
Are you not taking Action towards what you want to have or experience? Do you feel there is no Opportunity on the horizon for you? Have you ever found yourself Thinking too much?”
All of these traits: Action, Opportunity and Thinking have their place in either achieving your goals or being “Stuck In The Mud.” Looking at how they work together in a success cycle will help you achieve more and get “Unstuck.”
A simple equation to remember is: A = O = T = A
Action = Opportunity = Thinking = Action
Taking Action leads to Opportunities in life but many times it leads to more than one possible opportunity to pursue. A client takes an action coming to a coaching session and may leave with 4-8 opportunities to pursue and achieve their goal. In order to ensure the best opportunity is taken to move towards the bigger picture goal, a person needs to Think and review the long term goal, evaluate all of the opportunities. The next step is to turn around and take focused Action again which will create more opportunities.
Sometimes a persons’ greatest strength can be their greatest weakness in this process. Attention to details and learning (Thinking) could lead to paralysis by analysis. Being creative and seeing all of the Opportunities can lead to confusion about where move forward and take Action. Taking massive Action without much strategic thinking can lead to getting off focus and procrastinating in doing something else that would in fact move you closer to the finish line.
Are you stuck in Opportunities? Are there too many things you can do to achieve your dreams and goals? Do you dream big creative dreams, see opportunities at every turn? If that’s the case, STOP, remove yourself from the opportunities, review your long term goals and really THINK about what will take you closest to your long term goals, and then, take focused action.
Are you stuck in Thinking? Do you constantly feel you need to learn more, do more, be more, have more, or be in a different spot before you could possibly take action towards your goal? If that is the case, remember that you are perfect as you are in this moment, take the plunge into a focused action, appreciate what the experience will teach you, seize the new opportunities that arise and then come back to Thinking about what the next best step is. You will only gain the insight to make that decision by having the experience that comes from Action.
Are stuck taking Action? are your days filled with endless tasks and “To-Do” lists? Do you cross things off all day, and at the end of the day still feel like you got nothing accomplished? You need to slow down, STOP, and Think about the Actions you fear or are putting off for another day. It is the top one action out of every 10 on your list that will allow you to create the opportunities to move towards your goals. The remaining 9 are just distracting you from what’s truly important.
What is your greatest strength; Action, Opportunity, or Thinking? Where are you stuck in this success cycle? Stretch outside of your limitations today and keep the cycle moving. As one of my favorite clients always says, “Let’s get fired up!”
The first part of any change is to “Get Real.”
You have heard this saying before but why is it so important? It is hard to look in a mirror and take a good hard look at ourselves.
How many of you have full length mirrors in your bathroom and you walk by them everyday without stopping and really taking a look at yourself?
“Get Real” means that you stop and take a good hard look at where you are, NOW! Step on the scale and see exactly what it reads. This is a painful but necessary part of any change. It is also the first step of taking control of your life.
It is far easier to ignore the mirror and start to compare ourselves to others who are worse off than we are. You have hear it before, “Well, I’m not as big as so and so.” Or, “At least I am in a size 36 pants instead of a 40.” Statements such as these minimize/generalize where we are and in doing so we lose the emotional edge (usually frustration, anger, etc) that will allow us to move and create change. Nobody changes without a healthy level of frustration!
During my infantry training we learned land navigation. The first step in the process was to look at the map and figure out the 8 digit grid coordinate on the map for where we were, right then. It was the first step before we went anywhere. Without taking a good hard look at where we were starting from, we could not figure out any of the other calculations necessary to make it through to the other points along the route. If you were off in your initial calculation of where you started from you were lost before you ever began.
The first part of any change is to “Get Real” with where you are. You are not “a little heavy”; you don’t need to “lose a few.” The scale reads in at 240, you are 50 pounds overweight and you have a big fat butt. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can change!
Pick an area of your life that you want to change and “Get Real.” Now!
Stop comparing yourself to others and retelling those same old stories, everyone is getting tired of hearing them anyway! Define with specificity where you are today so that you can succeed in the future. If you feel that healthy level of frustration at where you are, you are on the path to success.
Stay tuned for the next step tomorrow!
To our continued success,
James
