Who is in Control?

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Who is in Control?

Question: You choose to finish a job or task at work and feel a great sense of accomplishment afterwards, or you are walking down the street and all of a sudden you remember something and it makes you so sad: Are you in control of your emotions or are your emotions in control of you?

First off, we are in control of our emotional states. By CHOOSING to take a specific action, we CHOOSE the meaning of the event. For example, by choosing to go out walking this morning, I chose that walking would allow me to feel happy, energetic, alive and vibrant. A different person may choose to go walking and decide it meant pain, suffering, and frustration. We control out emotional states by the meaning that we attach to all of life’s experiences!

At the same time, there will always be external events that happen to us that will trigger unresolved emotional issues from the past. These unresolved issues grow over time and get larger and larger and larger. Negative emotional states are positive because they tell us where our emotions and rational thoughts are in conflict.

Our emotional states are in a constant tug of war. People work to have more positive intense emotional states (happiness, love, success) while negative emotional states (frustration, overwhelm, sadness) keep popping up, seemingly out of control.

In creating more positive emotional states remember: MOTION CREATES EMOTION. When you engage your mind and your body positive things happen! My personal drug of choice: Endorphins! So, put on those great songs, sing at the top of your lungs, be outrageous in your own way, move your body and create a stronger you with more physical movement.

In order to decrease the disempowering emotional moments:
1. Identify the negative emotion that is present (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.)
2. Ask: “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly?”
3. Once you understand the meaning and what there is to learn from it, CHOOSE TO TAKE AN IMMEDIATE ACTION AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT that will allow the better feelings to come out! (in this moment most people will not want to do something different because it is easier to stay in a negative emotional pattern, but the key to success is in taking an choosing a new action and meaning in order to break through the problem and let go of the negative emotion)
4. Celebrate your new meaning and action to anchor in the new state!

It is never too late to engage the process. Success happens when the amount of time it takes to clear up the conflict and move from disempowering states to positive ones decreases.

Celebrate all of your emotional states. Celebrate the ones that you choose to create for yourself and celebrate the ones that are triggered by your external environment. Find the reason for the state and take action to control your emotional life!

If you want more out of your emotional life, call today for your free 15 minute coaching session on how to create positive emotional states. Have a real life experience of it today! (480) 820-4072

To your continued success,

James

The Problem with the Problem

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What is the Problem with Your Problem?

Most of us forget that there is a problem that comes with most problems. It is a presupposition that we should not have the problem in the first place. In simpler terms, the problem with the problem is that you think that you should not be having a problem.

Do you really want what you are wishing for? Imagine a life with absolutely no problems. At first, it would be great, just like sitting on the beach for a day doing nothing. (That only feels good because we have been putting so much time into solving our problems and need a refresher from time to time) What about the second day, third day, fourth week of sitting on the beach with no problems? Suddenly, the absence of problems would be a problem and we would need to go and find something to do.

What is the purpose of a problem then? Fundamentally, we are either growing or dying. The problems that we encounter serve a very specific purpose. They give us insight into where we are incongruent between what we think and what we feel. There is a meaning, something to learn, from the problems that once we learn and take action on it, will create an even better quality of life for us.

It is our choice to find that more empowering meaning, embrace the learning(s) from it, and take action to change our life. That is what makes us a stronger person.

What is a current problem that you have today or this week? Be THANKFUL for your problems and ask yourself:

A. What is there for me to learn from this problem, that will make me a better person?
B. What can I learn from this that will allow me to let go of these negative emotions and create a more empowering future for myself?
C. What will I do different next time? ~or~ What is an action I can take right now to make things better?
D. How will this create a more empowering life for myself and the people that I love and care about today, tomorrow, in the future?

Consider it a pure joy, to face the trials and challenges of life. It is the testing of your human spirit that develops perseverance. Perseverance needs to happen in order for you to finish your tasks in order to feel complete and whole.

How will you run your life this week?

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How to Run Life This Week

How are you going to Run your life this week? There are many different runner types. If you were running the race of your life this week and came up to the traffic light that was red, how would you approach getting across the street? Would you:

A. Stop, rest, and wait for green light and then proceed?
B. Stop, jog in place, wait for the green light and then proceed?
C. Keep running once you get to the corner by stepping off of the curb, running in the bike lane into the oncoming traffic until there was an opening, cross into the middle of the street between both lanes of traffic and run back towards the intersection until there was a break in the oncoming traffic from the opposite direction, and then cross back over onto the curb on the opposite side of the street?

Each answer poses interesting looks into the psychology behind the choice. All are appropriate at different times based on a person’s ability to manage risk, stay focused on outcomes, and still enjoy the run.

Yesterday, I found myself putting off running because it was raining here in Arizona. I ended up running, choosing option C, and having one of the best runs of my life. How are you going to choose to run your life this week when you are faced with challenges? Will you stop and wait to take action until something changes, will you stop and pretend that what you doing is really making progress when it is not thereby distracting yourself, or will you take on the challenges headfirst by not stopping no matter what the obstacles are and arrive on the other side of the street with a greater sense of pride, confidence and achievement?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention…if you choose option A or B, who says that the light will change anytime soon…you may be waiting for a long time…Take Control of Your Life and Keep Running!

To your continued success,

James