Merry Relationship!
Since it is Christmas, I am going to keep my Thought of the Week short. With all of the activities, family, cooking, and religious events coming up I understand you may be short on time. As we pull out all of the rituals of the season, whatever your religious beliefs are, I would ask that you keep two things in mind.

First, Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus, but why are we celebrating his birth? Perhaps as a reminder every year that Christmas is also about OUR Re-Birth. It is an opportunity for us to be born again and live in faith, born again in our beliefs, born again into love, peace, joy, and hope for a better tomorrow.

Second, Christmas is not about the traditions of Religion but your Relationship with God. The traditions have a purpose in supporting you to connect and develop a relationship with God, but if you don’t truly accept God in your heart, the traditions are really meaningless. I love church. I love the people at church. I love the songs, prayers, and messages about how to live a Godly life. I go out of my way to find and visit churches wherever we travel and always stop, say a prayer, and light a candle. I have prayed in the National Cathedral in New York City, in Notre Dame, listened to the monks chant at the Chapel at Mont-St.-Michel, prayed in the Chapel at St. Mere Eglise, in the National Cemeteries at Arlington and Normandy, the small church missions in California and even in a small little church right off of the beaches of Normandy, but the only place to truly find God is in your heart. God is not about a religious tradition but having a deep personal Relationship with him in your heart. It is the moments of prayer where you are deepening your relationship with him that are the most meaningful. They happen in the woods on a run, as you kiss your kids while they are sleeping, as you ask for help to overcome life’s challenges, as you say Grace at dinner, or as you go out of your way to share love from you heart with another.

I encourage you to accept God into your heart and remember to share that love with those you love most dearly this Holiday Season. I look forward to a dynamic, powerful, and prosperous 2009 for all of you.

An Old Irish Blessing for You this Christmas

May the road rise to meet you:
May the wind be always at your back,
The sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

James

Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is still a few days away but we already have our Christmas tree up. In fact, we decorated it two weekends ago. It’s up for two reasons; during the move we donated our old tree to save it the rigors of another move (at 15 years old it would have fallen apart anyway) and I had to unpack our new 9’ tree to get it in my car, so instead of repacking it, I set it up in our living room.

Having the Christmas tree up so early this year got me thinking about how Thanksgiving often gets overlooked in the pre-Christmas hustle and bustle. This is especially true this year, when the market is down and Wall Street is predicting a dismal economic holiday season. I read today that many companies are now having “pre-black Friday sales” to try and kick-start that holiday spending.

So what is Thanksgiving about? Many of us will sit around and follow the age old routine: travel to see family, those special women in our life cook all day, we sit and say grace, enjoy each others company, eat, eat, and eat some more, then the men retire to watch football while the women chat and clean up after a long day in the kitchen.

I want to focus on just one of the many aspects that are included in that stereotypical holiday scenario – saying “grace”. Whether you are thankful to your God or just expressing gratitude for the positive things that happened this year, I challenge you, don’t just give it lip service. Let me work to clarify my distinction – Have you ever found yourself saying grace for the things that you already have? Are they things that don’t really matter to you emotionally? Are you saying Grace for things you take for granted everyday, anyway?

The pilgrims gave thanks for the food they had because their lives’ very existence depended on the bounty of their crops. Food back then was not easy to obtain. Men had to go into the wild and hunt deer and turkey with bows and arrows or with a musket that had very little accuracy. Men walked for hours on end behind mules just to till the land, each seed was personally sewn and tended for months against the bad weather and pests. Wood was chopped and dried from the earliest days of spring until the first snows fell in order to have heat for the winter months. That is why Thanksgiving meant something to our ancestors – they were grateful for the things in life that ensured their very survival.

In today’s society there are not too many things that threaten our physical existence (barring diseases, many are brought on due to our sedentary lifestyles and things being so physically easy). However, there are many things in life that threaten our mental, emotional, and spiritual existence.

If you find yourself at the dinner table just saying, “Thank you for the food that we have.” How meaningful is that? A can of green beans costs $.89 and all you had to do was drive 5 minutes in your heated car to the store to get it. Compare that to the months of backbreaking work the pilgrims endured in order to get the equivalent, the effort expended isn’t anywhere near comparable.

While thinking about your grace this year, pick the most challenging area of your life to focus on. Pick one that your survival and existence depends upon: your job, your health, your career, your financial situation. Pick an area where if you do not keep tending to it over the next months by putting your heart, soul, and energy into it, you would perish because you would not have achieved what it takes to stay alive and have a meaningful life.

Let me give you an example. One of the things that I am going to be most thankful for this Thanksgiving, and it moves me emotionally just thinking about it, are my clients and the people I send these emails out to. Deep in my heart and soul I have been needing to write a book for the last 5 years. I have fought and struggled, written many, many outlines, jotted down topics and thoughts, but no book ever produced itself. If I do not write a book before I die, it will be one of my greatest regrets. This idea of a book is at the core of who I am and what would make my life meaningful. That dream and goal has been on my mind for a long, long time. In a sense, a part of me would be dead if I never wrote it.

I worked on a monthly email for about a year and a half and then quit because it was not working. About a year later, one day I opened MS Word and just started writing a “Thought”, which later became my “Thought of the Week”. I was uncertain if people would take the time to read them, think my insights were of value, or if they would help someone through a rough time. Over the last couple of months, I have received so much positive feedback – new people every week – commenting that one of my “Thoughts” had touched them. More than a dozen and a half people on my email distribution list stated that I should turn these into a book. With all of the half completed thoughts and outlines, perfectionist planning, and half hearted attempts at starting a book, I NEVER DREAMED these thoughts would have the potential to be used for that purpose. It was my clients and friends who showed me the path to making this dream become a reality. I am choked up just typing this. That is how meaningful you are to me. I could not see what was right in front of me, but you saw it for me. All of you reading this, right now, have helped me believe that I can achieve this dream of mine. As I look back on my blog, I already have over 40 “Thoughts of the Week.” It has also helped bring clarity to a second one that I want to put together.

Where is an area of your life where you are fighting to survive? Where does your life depend on you completing that special something? Where are you finding yourself desperately struggling to succeed? Pick something that is meaningful for you this Thanksgiving. Something you are so thankful for that when sharing it with your family and loved ones you get choked up and the tears form in your eyes. Reach down into the depths of your heart and soul, grab onto that dream you’re not sure you can achieve, and find a way to be thankful for the persons, the challenges, and the experiences that are going to help you to realize that dream. I will enjoy, and be very choked up, expressing my thankfulness for you while saying grace this Thanksgiving Day. You are counted among my deepest blessings. I thank God for you and your continued support, and I’ll be seeing you at the dinner table.

To your continued success,

James

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Check out previous “Thoughts of the Week” on my blog at www.evolutionforsuccess.com

For all of your hiring needs please check out my Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment link at www.surehirenow.com

James M Murphy
Evolution for Success, LLC
(919) 792-0085

The Biggest Fan

A few weeks ago, I found myself back at Iowa State University with my son and brother in law attending my first Cyclone football game since I had graduated in 1991. It was great to be back in my old stomping grounds and sharing the experience with my son. Standing amidst all of the alumni, hearing their comments and donation amounts; I was also aware of the intense pressure on the young men on the field to perform.
Nicolas is 13 and well aware of my criteria for what I consider a great sporting event: a high energy game that is close in score and my favorite team is always the underdog. This game matched those criteria perfectly.
When fourth quarter arrived and it had truly been a great game. It was high scoring, action packed, and we were rooting for the underdog, The Cyclones. We were two touchdowns behind with only seven or eight minutes left and played an onside kick. Everyone cheered like it was Iowa State’s possession but after the play review, it was Texas A&M’s ball. The crowd started to go crazy cheering whole heartedly against the referees. The stadium erupted with jeers and “BOO’ing!” Funny thing was, none of us actually saw the play. It was on the other side of the field, we did not have a good view, and at the games now they do not show most instant replays. (I guess that was a smart idea for moments just like this)!
What I found interesting was that my son got mixed up in the emotions and started, “Booing” also. I whispered in his ear that I loved his enthusiasm AND we did not see the play, there was no instant replay, and we should show some good sportsmanship. What happened next could not have made me more proud as a father.
Nicolas immediately stood up on the bench in front of us started cheering for the home team. While everyone else was “Booing” the referees, he was screaming at the top of his lungs, “Go Cyclones!” He stayed focused on giving support where support was needed, NOT in finding blame or fault to ease frustrations on us being behind in the game. For the rest of the game he never sat down. He stood on the bench, kept waving his towel, and cheering, “Go Cyclones!” As the minutes ticked down and the alumni, students, and spectators left their team still playing on the field, he stayed and cheered on his team. That is a true fan.
In that moment, I put myself on the field with those players. They had probably played ball since they were 4 or 5 years old, dedicated their life to football, conditioned their mind, body and emotional spirit to play collegiate sports, were out there giving it all they had, the blood, sweat and tears, and the people they represented, the people they counted on for support when the times are tough, were leaving them when they needed them most. None of those players on the field ever quit, even when most of the fans did. My son never quit cheering even when he would cheer, “Go Cyclones,” the alumni behind us would say, “Suck” after him. We stayed with the players on the field and cheered until the game was over.
Afterwards, Nicolas got some interesting compliments. Some people stated: “He must be a new fan because he hasn’t figured out that we lose every game, He sure has a lot of energy, He will learn eventually.” But in the next game, when the going gets tough, by Nicolas stepping up as he did and impacting the people around us, I think they are going to miss him a lot! I left the game a very proud father.
What a great psychology lesson in all of this. How often do we give up on something we want to achieve before the game is really over? How many times do we fail to support others in the pursuit of their goals when they need us the most? How often do we give up supporting others because we are looking for their success to make us happy and when we assume they won’t or they don’t achieve their goals we turn our backs on them? How often do we base our happiness on others success instead of our own? How often do we commit ourselves 100% in the pursuit of a goal until the very end? How often do we give up on others and ourselves before the clock runs out?
This experience brings to mind a great quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Whether you are in the game as a player or as a Fan remember you are always playing in some sort of game. Most people only saw the game on the field. I saw the game in the stands as a fan also. In the game of your life the clock is still ticking so keep on playing until the very last second. Never give up. Be sure to be a great fan of others also. Cheer for them and support them in the pursuit of their goals no matter if they win or if they fail. Don’t base your happiness on others successes, if you are, that means that you are just a spectator and need to get back engaged in your own game. Remember to walk a mile in other peoples’ shoes before you turn and walk away. Never stop believing in the greatness each of possesses individually or as a team.
Always believe, Always Hope, Always Dream! Never Give Up, and Never Walk Away! Stay Engaged in the Game of Life.

If you need to get engaged in the game of life and you are blaming the economy, the people on your team, and giving up, Step up now and CALL NOW to get back in the game. (919) 792-0085!

Character Revealed

It is often stated that true heroes in life, the people who perform spectacular feats in one perilous moment, are just normal people. That one perilous moment just allows the rest of the world to see their true character. Many times, they downplay their moments in the spotlight and prefer to remain anonymous.

How do you find and define character without a perilous moment? Is it having integrity? Is it found when you see someone totally committed to an impossible dream and they achieve it? Is it found when someone has a selfless act of courage that puts their life on the line for another?

I want to share a simple story of a man who exemplifies having character. Richard Munsen was born in Story City, IA 82 years ago. He is Norwegian by bloodline and went off to war in WWII, became a Captain of a B-17, and was shot down flying a mission over the Balkans in Croatia. With the help of the Partisan resistance, he and his crew evaded the Germans for 45 days and finally made it safely back to allied territory. He transitioned from his military service back to Story City, IA and co-owned and operated a Chevrolet dealership for the rest of his work career. I know of his life’s story because he is the grandfather of my son.

On a trip to visit Dick this month, as soon as I walked in the door he grabbed me by the arm and stated, “Come here, I have to show you something.” On a folding table in his living room was a puzzle that I had given her the previous Christmas. It was a WWII puzzle of the Normandy invasion.

As we sat down together to work on the puzzle that evening, I noticed several things. First, Dick has been having a sore knee lately and after a while, I could see that sitting at the table was beginning to be uncomfortable. Second, he his vision is challenged, in one eye he sees double and in the other he sees things raised about twice as high as the other. Fitting together pieces of a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle was certainly a worthy challenge with his eyesight challenges. Third, after 8 months of working on the puzzle he was proud as he could be with the progress made to date. The puzzle was only about 1/3 completed. He told me that some nights he can’t sleep and comes out to work in “a piece or two.” He consistently works on it just about everyday.

In that moment, I thought, “Wow, this is character. Many people would call his efforts an example of commitment, perseverance, dedication, or pursuit of achievement; but to me, it just signified personal “character.” Despite all of the physical challenges he was enduring, he still sits down everyday and works towards a worthy goal. He was keeping his mind active, alert, and practicing patience on the path to success.

How often do we miss the “character” that others show in their daily actions? How often do we overlook what makes people special? I have a tremendous amount of respect for Dick because he did such “heroic” things like becoming a pilot in WWII, evading the Germans for 45 days in the mountains of Yugoslavia, leading his men to safety, and taking on the entrepreneurial responsibilities of owning a successful Chevrolet dealership. What I respect the most is that at 82, he still shows the same character everyday that he has during his life as he works to fit one more piece of life’s puzzle together.

Find the hero in the people that you come in contact with today. They are exhibiting their character in many ways, if you just look for it. Appreciate their life experiences, how they have grown over the years, and keep a look out for the small things they do that reveal their true “character.” Everything you need in life to be inspired, to love, to experience gratitude, are right in front of you if you look for it. And remember to look at refining your own “character” so that you can continue to inspire others, as well.

If you wish to read more about Dick Munsen and his WWII experiences, please check out his website at: www.munsen.com

If you need some support in living a life with more “Character,” Call Now for a coaching session that will change your life.

(303) 681-3555

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What really matters…

What many of us forget that when we set our goals in life is that we also set our obstacles at the same time. If we set little goals, we have little obstacles and if we set big, intense goals, we have big, intense obstacles. These obstacles will show up in patterns of behavior that are mental, emotional, and physical in nature. That is why most people give up on dreaming big intense goals…they are subconsciously scared of the big intense obstacles and the change that will happen during the process.

When we do set some of those big, intense goals, what will push and pull us through the rough waters to the other side? I found the answer in the last three weeks. I have been dreaming of building a home in North Carolina for the last two years. We are currently realizing that dream faced a huge obstacle in the process. Our rental contact ended in May and the new house will not be done until end of August. We faced being homeless for a minimum of 3 months. The solution presented itself by the means of an interim move to Colorado. So, the last four weeks have been spent packing, putting everything we have in storage, cleaning, saying our goodbyes, and averaging 4-5 hours of sleep per night. The last week before I left AZ was one of the most emotionally intense weeks of my life; it ranked right up there with the first week of infantry boot camp. In that hectic crazy week, I found that two things helped me through the mental, emotional and physical challenges.

First was staying associated to my dream. I worked hard to keep in mind that I would be achieving one of my life’s biggest goals 5 years earlier than I had set it for; building a home in North Carolina. It carried all sorts of benefits in terms of education for my kids, better health, more financial security, and the possibility of being closer to family. I dreamed of our first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, and all of the wonderful new experiences that would follow. Many times this was very hard to focus on because right in front of my face were the boxes, lack of sleep, overwhelm, anxiety, lack of exercise, and thoughts of “Why am I putting myself through this hell?”

Second and most important were the people that supported us in the pursuit of our dream. I could not have achieved this goal without them. When people know that you are moving, they usually do one of two things: distance themselves from you because it is too painful, or they rise to an incredible level of selflessness to support you in any way possible. It is these friends, family, and wonderful souls that I am very grateful for. They opened their homes to us, fed us dinner, offered to help us move and some went out of their way to stop and wish us well.

Life is about setting HUGE, CRAZY, EMOTIONALLY INTENSE goals that allow you to experience life at its fullest. If you are not growing, you are dying. By setting those goals, remember that you are setting huge obstacles to overcome that will challenge every aspect of your mental, emotional and physical abilities. You will not be able to do it alone. Invest and build relationships outside of yourself and your immediate family. Give selflessly to help others in achieving their goals and when you need them, they will be there for you too. Be ready for the intense emotional life changes.
Tony Robbins once said that the success you achieve in life is directly proportional to the amount of uncertainty you can handle. Uncertainty represents the obstacles put in motion with huge goals.

Set some Huge Crazy Life Goals. When was the last time you supported a friend or someone else in achieving theirs? Make it happen today!

Call today for your next coaching session to success: (303) 681-3555

Renew Your Vows…

Someone asked me once, “How long have you been married?” And, I found the instant response was, “Not long enough!” I thought for a while about my comment. It was truthful, insightful, and represented a lot about the depth of love that I have for my wife. Following that, I found and reread my wedding vows:

“I will continue to love you everyday of my life, no matter what the future holds. I will love, cherish, and adore you for the rest of my life. I will honor, respect, and appreciate all that you are and all that you will become. I will always support you and be attentive to your needs. And, I will be eternally loyal, faithful and true. I promise all of this to you forever.”

As I was running, I contemplated the depth of those 6 sentences and how they have guided me in my relationship over the years. The strength, power and conviction I hold in that promise to my wife is indescribable. Then I thought, “Why had I not made a set of vows to myself? What if I made a set of vows that would hold all of the same strength, power, and conviction for me? That led me to understand that the vows I have to my wife are the same vows that I can renew for myself. What powerful life would be created by living these vows for her and I everyday?

Then the last deepest insight came from the question, “What if I lived these vows to myself, my wife, everyone that I come in contact with in life, all to the glory of my God?” What difference would that make in how I showed up to live my life everyday? The unlimited possibilities unfolded in front of my eyes like the stars in the universe.

What vows have you written and promised to your spouse? What vows can your write and promise to yourself? What vows can you write, promise, and keep in relationship to your faith that will open up a whole new life for you? I challenge you to find those answers. RENEW YOUR VOWS TODAY! In the meantime, when our paths cross, remember that in my own way as your friend, acquaintance, relative, or child of God:

“I will continue to love you everyday of my life, no matter what the future holds. I will love, cherish, and adore you for the rest of my life. I will honor, respect, and appreciate all that you are and all that you will become. I will always support you and be attentive to your needs. And, I will be eternally loyal, faithful and true. I promise all of this to you forever.”

To your continued success,

James

Imagine that it is Sunday evening and you are sitting down mapping out your priorities for the week. You have created your capture sheets, chunked things into manageable groups, prioritized and mapped out blocks of time to create your dreams this week. However, you have an uneasy feeling because some one of things that you wanted to complete last week (including the Thought of the Week) somehow were not completed.

Do you:
A. Find yourself Monday morning overcome with guilt and continue to procrastinate. After all, you are a coach that supports people to overcome and achieve. It could be considered a loss of integrity to not follow through with your business goals. How can you help others be more consistent if you are not holding yourself to that higher standard?
B. Tell yourself that it is all OK that it wasn’t completed last week. After all, you did plenty of other things to justify not getting it done. For instance, completed a half marathon, took care of the kids while the wife was out of town, recruited more coaching clients, worked on some speeches, etc, etc, etc…
C. Experience the pain of the loss of integrity with yourself, learn what there is to learn from it so that you can do it better next time, and make a commitment and take action to complete it.

In reality, no one even emailed or called me last week to say that they missed my Thought of the Week. I did get some positive responses stating people enjoyed it. The point is this. How often are you out of integrity with what YOU have set for yourself to succeed or do, regardless of if other people even noticed, and it just fades away? What impact does that have on self confidence in the long run? What does it cost you little by little in your ability to succeed and feel good about yourself?

I had a referral once from a close friend and after doing some research became intimidated by this referral’s level of success. I made a half hearted attempt to call and sell my coaching services. However, the note with his number stayed on my desk for months and every time that I saw it, I knew that I did not follow through. How could I call this referral after all of the procrastination, lack of follow up, and what would he think of my coaching skills if I couldn’t hold myself accountable? Well, I called him up for several weeks consistently with the answer to that question in mind, “He could consider me a top notch coach because I was able to remember that I was not in integrity with myself, follow up consistently, and I did not just let it go.”

Success in life and business come from following up on what you commit to do and then don’t. Success comes at many different times, after a great speaking presentation, a fully engaged and energetic coaching session, and after just following up with those small things that are easily swept aside in order to keep my integrity with myself. I wish for you the same!

If you need some support and accountability to follow through in your planning, defining what is really important to you, and keeping a higher level of integrity with yourself, CALL NOW to arrange for a free 15 minute coaching session. (480) 820-4072