Burning out in First Gear!

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Burning Out in 1st Gear

I don’t remember when I came up with the belief that it is good to live a “full life.” However, I do know that it has a very different meaning from living a “crazy, hectic life.” Unfortunately, a “crazy hectic life” is what the first couple of weeks of September turned out to be for me.

There are many goals I am pursuing in life right now. I am taking some continued education, training for a marathon, staining my deck, painting my dining room, working, and also collaborating to start a Universal Personal Evolution Coaching Curriculum to kick off after New Year 2010.

Over Labor Day weekend, I found myself so busy working on all of these projects that became totally disassociated from my family. However, I was getting a lot of things accomplished. I was a multi-tasking machine. I was listening to the book an audio book for class while painting the deck, moving furniture and prepping/painting our dining room. I was up early in the mornings studying and working late, totally consumed with what needed to be accomplished. My mind and body were moving about 100 mph and would not slow down.

Looking back, the more consumed I was with what to achieve, the more withdrawn, disconnected and emotionally empty I became. I did not go for a run, read to my daughter at night, or play a little X-Box with my son. And just like a car stuck in first gear, the more I pushed on the gas pedal, the more I became frustrated at not getting where I wanted to go faster, pushed harder, and finally burned my engine out.

I had stopped the small fulfilling habits, patterns, and behaviors that would allow me to disengage the motor for a moment. In order to switch from first to second gear in the car you have to push in the clutch, disengage the engine from the car, shift to second gear and then re-engage the engine. When that occurs, the engine’s rpm’s decrease but the car is able to increase its speed. Miraculously, you get to your destination faster with less energy. After my emotional burnout, I had to find a way to disengage for a moment so that I could re-engage at a higher level. I made some time to reconnect with my son for a few minutes on the X-Box, spent a little time reading Magic Treehouse to Isabelle, and sat on the porch with Emmanuelle for a while enjoying her company. And, I went on a run that gave me the inspiration for getting back on track with the Thought of the Week.

A person can never make a great decision in a poor state, never make a compelling goal in a lethargic state, or create more loving connections with people while in a disconnected state. Life will never be defined in what we leave behind but what we leave through the relationships we have built with others. When we live our lives in first gear, pushing harder and harder and forget to stop, disengage into some meaningful activities that recharge us and allow us to re-engage life at a higher emotional level, we will always burn out.

The small investments in people and relationships made the difference between living a “crazy, hectic” and a “full life.” Taking time for family, taking time for self, and reaching out through these thoughts to the people I care about the most is where the energy of life is. And, I am happy to be back!

Remember to disengage once in a while and get back to the little habits and behaviors that refresh, recharge, and give your life the most meaning. Take a moment and give yourself some quiet time, enjoy holding your child’s hand-they will be grown soon enough, give a hug or kiss of appreciation to someone who loves you, or just stop, close your eyes for a second and remember to breathe!

You will see yourself shifting into a different gear, getting more done with less, and driving faster. I will be sure and see you next week with another, “Thought of the Week.”

Where’s the B.F.F.?

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Have you heard the acronym B.F.F., which stands for Best Friends Forever? I learned about it last week while watching the last 5 minutes of Paris Hilton’s reality show season finale. She bypassed the two finalists and chose someone that had been previously eliminated as her new BFF. The guy was so excited and in shock that he just couldn’t take the excitement of being picked. He went on and on about how he would be the Best BFF ever and she would never need another BFF, and BFF this and that. After just a few minutes I was BFF’d out and felt sorry for the guy. I think he forgot that he was only going to be her BFF until next season rolled around, at which point he would be easily expendable.

That moment reminded me of something my great grandfather Gabe said, “At the end of your life, if you can count on one hand 5 true friends, you are a lucky man.” I always thought that was interesting. And, I believe it is true. Can you count 5 people right now (not relatives) who would stop everything in their lives to help you out? They would call in sick to work, give you money never expecting it to be repaid, or fly across the country to be of help?

Now I have a bigger question. How many people would be able to count YOU as one of their top 5 friends on their hand? Who would you stop your life for in order to help?

Life is not about how many people will help us out in our time of need but about how many people can count on us in their time of need. If you can’t count 5 people on your hand then how could you? The best way to count 5 people on your hand is to make sure that at least 5 people will count you on theirs FIRST! Like all things worthwhile in this life, we have to give first in order to receive.

I am fortunate to have met such a role model. I recently made another trip to Story City, IA to celebrate the 65th wedding anniversary of Dick and Kay Munsen. One of their friends, Bill Craig, came all the way from New York City to celebrate with them. They pulled out the old slide show pictures one evening for a stroll down memory lane. In the pictures of Dick and Kay’s last son’s baptism, there was Bill Craig and his mother. And now, over 40 years later he was sitting with them again in their living room celebrating another milestone in their lives. He even paid for the entire family’s dinner (no small bill) earlier that evening as a way of saying, “You are special to me.” Do you still stay in touch with your friends from 5, 10 or even 15 years ago? Which friends will you be there for in 40 years?

It is a true blessing at the end of your life if you can count 5 true friends. It would be an even more meaningful life if you could count on all of your fingers and toes the people who would count you as one of their top 5 friends. And, a bonus would be to say that you always gave those relationships 100% of your heart and soul.

I suppose that is the difference between Paris Hilton and this season’s BFF. I would probably pick him as my new BFF over her. She is counting who her newest BFF’s is based on the pleasure he brings to her, while he gives everything that he has to build the relationship and give more than take. I think he is probably going to be richer than her in the long run, even if he is going to be replaced next season. I hope to be more like him as I move forward to develop and build all of my BFF relationships. As long as I keep giving my heart and soul for them to be able to count me on their fingers, I’m not as expendable or able to be replaced next season.

So, to all my BFF’s out there, call me if you want but I plan on staying in touch with you first! I will do my best to be in touch again soon. Remember to call me in your time of need, day or night and I trust you still are counting me on your fingers. Thank you for our many years of friendship and I look forward to many more. (even 40 years from now!)

Frustrating Success

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Frustrating Success

Ever since our daughter was born 5 years ago, I have slowly put on weight. Not just a few pounds but almost 25. It just crept up on me with a little bite here, a little nibble there, and a few chips here and there to calm my nerves. I whined a lot about it but did little to change until Emmanuelle came back from seeing her family in France.

She told me about a new health/eating plan called the Protal Diet. Her sister lost 50 pounds in 6 months on the plan and we decided to do it together. I am officially at day 25 and have dropped from 195.4 to 186.8 pounds. Who is ready to jump on already? Before you do though, read the rest of the “Thought of the Week” so you know what you are getting into! Here are my results broken down into 5-day segments.

Days Start 195.4
1 to 5 195.4 193.4 191.4 191.6 191.8
6 to 10 191 190.4 190.4 190.2 189
11 to 15 190.4 190 188 190.2 188.4
16 to 20 188.4 189.4 188.6 189.8 187.8
21 to 25 186.6 185.8 186.6 186.6 186.8

Upon closer look there is a lot to learn about how “frustrating success” can be sometimes. Here are a few of my interpretations from the results.
• Overall, I am down 8.6 pounds in 25 days. That is fantastic!
• I experienced 44% of my weight loss in the first 5 days
• In the first 10 days I experienced 74% of my success
• 44% of the days my weight stayed the same or went UP instead of down

This is such a great example of what people experience in the pursuit of goals. I experienced the greatest amount of success, results and emotional highs the first 5 days of the program. I was flying high as I watched the scale tell me of my continued success everyday. The second five day period I still experienced success even though it slowed down in its momentum and smaller numbers. It was during this period that I started to really physically notice a difference around the waist. I also lost the most enthusiasm because the amount of weight I was losing everyday started to wane.

The third cycle I hit a plateau and could not break through to under 190 pounds. The fourth and fifth have been frustrating because I am feeling the diminishing returns and the scale was not singing praise to me anymore. In the last 15 days of the plan I only lost 2.2 pounds!!!! Success was frustrating for sure compared to how I started out.

Imagine the emotional frustration (while experiencing success overall) that came when I stepped on the scale and almost half of the time my weight stayed the same or went up. Everyday was a mental and emotional struggle, is it up or down, am I seeing the results? Am I doing things correctly? What do I need to change or adjust? Will I continue to drop at this slow rate? Why did the weight just jump up again?

Sometimes, even in the middle of the cycle of success, things can be frustrating due to one emotion called expectation. Many people never reach their long term goals because they expect to have the large amount of success they experience at the beginning of the journey continue throughout the whole process of change. I wanted results like in cycle 1, where I lost 3.6 pounds, each and every week!

However, the real commitment to achieving a goal is never in the beginning as much as in the middle when it gets tough, when we are not experiencing the “highs” of immediate and big results but making small baby steps that seem negligible. There is a lot of excitement and enthusiasm at a marathon start line but at mile 17 you just have to dig down, focus on the next step, and look towards the finish line.

One more question, “Looking at the results, in which cycle did the weight loss have the most meaning?” Well, in the short term the immediate results provide great motivation but it has a huge downside because of the expectation that was created. In my mind, they canceled each other out.

The pounds that have the greatest impact are the 26% that I experienced after the first 2 cycles. During the later cycles, the weight I lost was pure fat. The majority of the initial weight loss was predominately water weight.

As you pursue your goals expect the ups and downs. Remember the initial change that you see may sometimes not become the norm and standard for the whole process. Be wary of the expectations that may be created by that initial burst of high enthusiasm and change. The real commitment to any goal is defined by what happens after that initial high. And, that is sometimes where the most important change is experienced.

Just a closing note, since I wrote this, I am now at Day #34. I have been up 3 out of the last 8 days and the scale measured 184.6 this morning. It is reassuring how the “frustrating” cycle of success continues.

Sometimes it is good to remember that where you are emotionally, in the moment, does not necessarily reflect the overall direction you are headed towards. Keeping your commitment and driving forward into uncertainty and doubt is what creates future opportunities for success. Without moving forward through adversity, opportunity is lost.

I wish you a long term “frustrating success” cycle in all of your endeavors and would love to hear about how you are making your dreams become real. After all, if success wasn’t frustrating once in a while it probably would not create such a deep meaningful experience when the finish line is crossed.

Last day to Register for the JULY SPECIAL:

COACHING Special: Fast Track for Success in JULY for only $199!!

Here is an example of one of my client’s success last month with the Fast Track Program.

“I have to say that my clothes are already starting to feel much looser. I wore a jacket to church on Sunday and I could already tell that the jacket was much looser. I am also starting to wear several shirts that had just gotten too tight for me but are now starting to fit much better.

Regardless of the weigh-in tomorrow I would say that this program has been a huge success. I was 201.4 at the beginning of the month and I have lost nearly 9 pounds so far. Given the fact that I was completely out of the loop for two weeks with regards to physical activity – one week because of a sinus infection and one week because of surgery, this was mostly achieved through practicing good self-control on the eating front. I am still trying to hit 190 by the end of this week. Also, the only time I have lost weight in the past is when I was on a diet (I have tried several over the years) or on a physical fitness plan…….so, to me, to accomplish this without a “diet” mentality is actually a bigger win than just about anything else. I also noticed this AM that I have much more energy that I did at the beginning of the month.

I have now set a new goal to hit 183 by July 31st…. I am actually confident that I can achieve this goal using this method that we have used here.”

At weigh-in the next morning at the completion of the 30-days with the Fast Track to Success Plan…

“I was at 191.8 this morning…..So, I have lost a total of over 9 1/2 pounds in the last 30 days! I am feeling great! My goals are set for today!”

Thanks,

J.S.

Are you looking to jump start your weight loss for spring, take control of your finances, build a better relationship or take the next step in your career? The Fast Track for Success program allows you to focus on making those consistent changes daily for you to get what you want by making “small deposits every day.” Most of us overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten.

For only $199 you get a specialized, 6-Step program personalized to achieve your goal.

The bottom line is that most people are excited to start a goal for 24-48 hours before the emotional high wears off but it takes 17-21 days to develop a new habit.

I invite you to experience more success in a single month than you have had in the first two quarters of this year. The only reason you won’t call to achieve the life of your dreams is because of time and money. How many calls and emails do you make in a day? Make one that will change your life! Where else are you guaranteed to experience results and create what you most want in life? Put your investment to good use–on yourself!

Please pass on this “Thought of the Week” to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought.”. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.

If you wish to unsubscribe, please reply with “Unsubscribe” in the subject line.

How did you do?

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I have run many races in my life and I always wonder why I like to run so much. It seems that every time someone finds out that I just completed another race I get that inevitable question, “How did you do?”

Recently, I just finished mapping out an aggressive training plan for two more sprint triathlons (one this weekend and one in October), the Goofy Challenge in January 2010 (a half marathon on Saturday and full marathon on Sunday, see you there Steve :>)) and a very optimistic goal for a 40 and 50 mile run in March and April 2010. And, in the back of my mind there is an Olympic length triathlon next summer that I would love to participate in.

Exercise is important to me because it makes me feel more energetic, alive and positive in my mental and emotional states. We have a joke in the house that if Dad doesn’t exercise he turns into his alter ego of “grouchy bear.” That is also why we have our kids stay active.

This past Tuesday was the last swim meet of the summer and the kids have really enjoyed their swimming experience. At the end of every swim meet my kids get the same question as me, “How did you do?” And they usually answer, “I did OK, I came in first in my heat, or not too good.” There are many people in our neighborhood who if you ask them, “How did your kids do?” They all measure it the same, in terms of what place their kids took.

I know there is a school of thought that says, “Winning is everything” but I offer a question to you. At a marathon, if there are 30,000 runners is there only one winner? Yes and No. Isn’t the real purpose of being in the race to define in some way who you really are? To find what you are made of? To determine if you allow yourself to feel accomplishment and success to feel good about yourself?

When people ask me, “How did your kids do?” I always work to say, “He was great, he knew he was coming in last but gave 100% until the very end.” Or, “she was totally crushed that she did not finish first like her friend, but we got her focused to use that emotion so she is looking forward to coming to practice tomorrow and working harder.”

My kids ask me the question after I come back from every race and I tell them, “by participating in the race I am a winner, I finished strong, and I am looking forward to running another day.”

However, that is not really the whole truth either. For me, every race is won as soon as I experience that moment where I find myself face to face with myself either in physical pain, mental and emotional pain, or the emotional high of being so grateful for my life it hurts.

For me personally, the race is never defined by the moment that I cross the finish line. The race if defined in the hundreds of miles of training and during brief intense emotional moments that happen during the race itself. The race is defined in those moments when a person comes face to face with their own limitations and it is in those moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. When I decide to either embrace and push through those painful moments to experience more of myself or give up and quit.

If you see me at the pool be sure and ask, “How did your kids do?” I can already tell you that they won because throughout the season they were in the race and gave 100%. For the last 8 weeks, 5 days a week they have practiced, took swim lessons, experience ribbons for first place and came in last. They did their best.

Ask me over the next year, “How did you do?” at the end of each of my big audacious race goals and I will tell you something to the effect of, “Great, I came face to face with my fears during that swim at 200 meters, I pushed through the burning of my legs on that 14th mile of the bike ride, I never dreamed I would actually complete that training plan for the Goofy Challenge, or that 39th mile was mentally and emotionally the longest of my life, but I pushed through and never quit. I found myself in those miles and made myself more.” I hope those will be the answers to your question.

I hope that you find a way to engage in a meaningful endeavor that will allow you to come face to face with your limitations, push through, and become more. I will be asking you, “How did you do?” And, hope you have an answer deeper than “first or second place.” Stay in the race of life and I look forward to hearing how you did.

Solving a very specific problem with Meta Model III Questions

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If you have A SINGLE VERY SPECIFIC PROBLEM take a few minutes and go through this process as quickly as possible out loud or writing it on paper. See what happens:

1. What’s the Specific Problem? ~or~ What’s wrong?
2. What caused the problem Specifically?
3. How have you failed to resolve this problem specifically?
4. How can you overcome the solution to the problem?
FLIP
5. What specifically would you like to change?
6. When will you STOP IT from being a limitation (no other answer except NOW!)
7. How many ways do you know that you have solved this specific problem?
8. I know that you are changing and seeing things differently, NOW!

Today is the Day…!

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The Fourth of July is a great day for America to stop and remember what our country has done for us. Amidst the corruption, affairs, and scandals that cover the headlines everyday we still have the best quality of life and opportunities of any country in the world.

The Fourth of July also has a special place in our family because it is our son’s birthday. He just turned 14 this year and is entering into his early years of transitioning from a boy to a young man. Do you remember what was special about your Birthdays? What made them so magical when you were young?

In today’s modern times the old school courtesies and manners have fallen by the wayside. My father taught to walk on the street side of the sidewalk with a lady. I asked him why and he stated, “because in the old days when there were horses instead of cars, so the guy walked on the street side so that if someone was going to get splashed by the stuff from in the road it was the guy who would get dirty and not the lady.” Another courtesy he taught was the practice for a boy to ask a girl out for a date at least a week in advance? And, if that didn’t happen then the neither had a date that weekend. What was the purpose of asking a young lady out so far in advance?

When you read the title of the “Thought of the Week” did you say to yourself, “Today is the Day…for what I wonder?” Was your curiosity peaked to know what “Today is the Day” for?

Anticipation is very different from Acceptance. As creatures of habit, we often accept our current circumstances and forget to create something compelling in our futures that engages Anticipation. Anticipation leads to Excitement which leads to higher energy levels which leads to greater emotional states. We need that emotional energy to overcome obstacles that stand in the way of achieving goals.

Anticipation of something new and exciting versus acceptance of what life currently is: which is winning in your life today?

“Today is the Day” to set something in your future that will create the Anticipation of something exciting and new. Never accept things are only as good as they can get because no matter what you have been, done, and had you can always Be, Do and Have more. The future can not rely on the past.

Women loved being asked out a week in advance so they could talk to their girlfriends about it all week, agonize over what to wear, dream of the moment when the guy would knock on the door to pick them up. That was probably the highlight of the date many times! That magical moment that was dreamed about, generated excitement, and had that magical spark of being alive! Same for the guy as he walked up to the door and he experienced the eternity between ringing the doorbell and the father welcoming him in to pick up his daughter for the date! It helped to create that magical moment as he saw her come down the stairs dressed up and ready to go out for their date.

It was the Excitement and Anticipation of the Birthday cake, love of friends and family, presents, everyone celebrating the uniqueness of who you are one time a year that made early birthdays so special. And since they only come once per year that certainly created excitement and anticipation for the young child.

And, in today’s economic times we have to look at ourselves to be the change we want to see in America. To keep it great we can not wait for others and ride on their coat tails. If America was made on that psychology we would still be under British Rule. However, the settlers created Anticipation over a concept that went something like this:

One Nation,
Under God,
Indivisible with Liberty &
Justice for All.

That was an incredible ideology to Anticipate becoming real and it certainly created excitement. They did not accept that “now” was good enough. They did not complain and whine at England to change something to make their life better or to have England give them more. At an individual then group level they Anticipated a better way, excitement and commitment to an ideal, and took action to make it happen. Look what it created; we now celebrate the Birth of our Nation every Fourth of July.

I challenge you to step up in any area of your life this week and set a date with yourself way in advance. Stop accepting that your life is all that it can be. Commit to an action that will give your life the Excitement and Anticipation that makes you feel alive! Get excited with the Anticipation of the fireworks at the end! At Walt Disney World, they celebrate with fireworks everyday…you can too!

JULY SPECIAL:

COACHING Special: Fast Track for Success in JULY for only $199!!

Here is an example of one of my client’s success last month with the Fast Track Program.

“I have to say that my clothes are already starting to feel much looser. I wore a jacket to church on Sunday and I could already tell that the jacket was much looser. I am also starting to wear several shirts that had just gotten too tight for me but are now starting to fit much better.

Regardless of the weigh-in tomorrow I would say that this program has been a huge success. I was 201.4 at the beginning of the month and I have lost nearly 9 pounds so far. Given the fact that I was completely out of the loop for two weeks with regards to physical activity – one week because of a sinus infection and one week because of surgery, this was mostly achieved through practicing good self-control on the eating front. I am still trying to hit 190 by the end of this week. Also, the only time I have lost weight in the past is when I was on a diet (I have tried several over the years) or on a physical fitness plan…….so, to me, to accomplish this without a “diet” mentality is actually a bigger win than just about anything else. I also noticed this AM that I have much more energy that I did at the beginning of the month.

I have now set a new goal to hit 183 by July 31st…. I am actually confident that I can achieve this goal using this method that we have used here.”
At weigh-in the next morning at the completion of the 30-days with the Fast Track to Success Plan…

“I was at 191.8 this morning…..So, I have lost a total of over 9 1/2 pounds in the last 30 days! I am feeling great! My goals are set for today!”

Thanks,

J.S.

Are you looking to jump start your weight loss for spring, take control of your finances, build a better relationship or take the next step in your career? The Fast Track for Success program allows you to focus on making those consistent changes daily for you to get what you want by making “small deposits every day.” Most of us overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten.

For only $199 you get a specialized, 6-Step program personalized to achieve your goal.
Step 1: Complete the Pre-Call Worksheet for a single goal
Step 2: 30-minute Coaching session to set up new strategies for success
Step 3: You send me a daily email or voicemail with the top 3-5 specific things you are committed to do that day to reach your monthly goal. I will personally respond to every email or voicemail with helpful tips, hints, and strategies to overcome your challenges you have along the way
Step 4: After the completion of week 2, a 15-minute check-in call to measure and monitor your success.
Step 5: Repeat Step 3
Step 6: 15-Minute Celebration Call to re-enforce the changes you have made and revise strategies for continued success.

The bottom line is that most people are excited to start a goal for 24-48 hours before the emotional high wears off but it takes 17-21 days to develop a new habit.

I invite you to experience more success in a single month than you have had in the first two quarters of this year. Success can be yours for only $5 per day, M-F. The only reason you won’t call to achieve the life of your dreams is because of time and money. How many calls and emails do you make in a day? Make one that will change your life! Where else are you guaranteed to experience results and create what you most want in life? Put your investment to good use–on yourself!

Please pass on this “Thought of the Week” to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought.”. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.

If you wish to unsubscribe, please reply with “Unsubscribe” in the subject line.

One Day Closer…

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One Day Closer

I read a great book in high school that really left an impression on me. It was “Thinner” by Stephen King. It is an interesting book that held me spellbound. It is all about taking responsibilities for your actions, doing the right thing and the consequences that happen as a result.

Stephen King is one of the greatest authors of my generation. Since his first novel in 1974, Carrie, he has written over 47 novels and the total amount of publications has been over 157 short stories and novels. I read once that he pushes himself to write for a minimum of 8 hours per day. I wonder what he mentally and emotionally faces everyday in order to have that level of commitment to his craft.

My wife just returned from a last minute trip to France. Her brother in law passed away quickly from skin cancer. It has been an interesting last year and a half in our family since this is the fourth family member to pass into God’s Hands. Death is a funny thing in that it always brings out the best in people and sometimes the worst. It really shows a person’s capacity to love and provides real life experiences to show the depth of the relationships we have created in life.

I recently watched the movie “Express.” It was about the first African American Heisman Trophy winner, Ernie Davis. He followed in Jim Brown’s legacy at Syracuse University. After winning the Heisman Trophy in 1962, he died two years later of leukemia. The Cleveland Browns let him dress for the first game and even though he never played a single down in the NFL, and retired his jersey. At his funeral there were over 40,000 people.

My question to you is, “What are you one day closer too?” Logically, everyone knows they are one day closer to death but what else are you one day closer to in your life? What are you one day closer to today mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually? Mark Schultz has a great song that goes,

“So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I’m smiling
After all I’ve been through
It’s cause I’m just a day closer to You”

What rain is falling on you in life today: are you troubles financial, emotional , relationships, or a lack of faith? Are you going to keep on moving through the peaks and valleys, overcoming the obstacles and challenges with a smile on your face, and focus on what you are one day closer to that is positive and meaningful?

Ernie Davis was willing to devote his life to a craft that he loved even though in the end he did not achieve his dream of playing in the NFL. However, he attained something else along the way that was even more powerful. Some people think it is the Heisman Trophy, yet I bet even Ernie Davis couldn’t name the 40,000 people that showed up to honor what his life stood for. He was always moving one day closer to being better at what he loved. He was one day closer to being a role model for young African Americans who wanted to believe in a better life and having hope for a brighter future. Fifty years later he could not have known there would be a guy sitting in his living room, watching a movie about his life, and getting a boost of faith and hope to overcome his personal challenges.

My wife returned from France one day closer to building stronger and better relationships with her family she is lucky to see once every couple of years. My kids are one day closer to understanding how much she loves them and works to support them everyday. I am one day closer to strengthening my relationship with her by remembering all that she adds to my life that sometimes I take for granted.

Stephen King will undoubtedly die with many unfinished novels, stories, and ideas in his writing office. However, he has shaped and changed the world. He is one day closer to his 200th novel. He is one day closer to moving someone with his stories and ideas. He is one day closer to a life that will move and inspire others to devote their lives to what they love. He will continue to be a model of success for many years after he has passed on.

Ask yourself today, “What am I one step closer to that will make my life a masterpiece?” Even if you don’t have an answer, make one up and take action. Move one day closer to an even more masterful life.

JULY SPECIAL:

COACHING Special: Fast Track for Success in JULY for only $199!!

Here is an example of one of my client’s success last month with the Fast Track Program.

“I have to say that my clothes are already starting to feel much looser. I wore a jacket to church on Sunday and I could already tell that the jacket was much looser. I am also starting to wear several shirts that had just gotten too tight for me but are now starting to fit much better.

Regardless of the weigh-in tomorrow I would say that this program has been a huge success. I was 201.4 at the beginning of the month and I have lost nearly 9 pounds so far. Given the fact that I was completely out of the loop for two weeks with regards to physical activity – one week because of a sinus infection and one week because of surgery, this was mostly achieved through practicing good self-control on the eating front. I am still trying to hit 190 by the end of this week. Also, the only time I have lost weight in the past is when I was on a diet (I have tried several over the years) or on a physical fitness plan…….so, to me, to accomplish this without a “diet” mentality is actually a bigger win than just about anything else. I also noticed this AM that I have much more energy that I did at the beginning of the month.

I have now set a new goal to hit 183 by July 31st…. I am actually confident that I can achieve this goal using this method that we have used here.”
At weigh-in the next morning at the completion of the 30-days with the Fast Track to Success Plan…

“I was at 191.8 this morning…..So, I have lost a total of over 9 1/2 pounds in the last 30 days! I am feeling great! My goals are set for today!”

Thanks,

J.S.

Are you looking to jump start your weight loss for spring, take control of your finances, build a better relationship or take the next step in your career? The Fast Track for Success program allows you to focus on making those consistent changes daily for you to get what you want by making “small deposits every day.” Most of us overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten.

For only $199 you get a specialized, 6-Step program personalized to achieve your goal.
Step 1: Complete the Pre-Call Worksheet for a single goal
Step 2: 30-minute Coaching session to set up new strategies for success
Step 3: You send me a daily email or voicemail with the top 3-5 specific things you are committed to do that day to reach your monthly goal. I will personally respond to every email or voicemail with helpful tips, hints, and strategies to overcome your challenges you have along the way
Step 4: After the completion of week 2, a 15-minute check-in call to measure and monitor your success.
Step 5: Repeat Step 3
Step 6: 15-Minute Celebration Call to re-enforce the changes you have made and revise strategies for continued success.

The bottom line is that most people are excited to start a goal for 24-48 hours before the emotional high wears off but it takes 17-21 days to develop a new habit.

I invite you to experience more success in a single month than you have had in the first two quarters of this year. Success can be yours for only $5 per day, M-F. The only reason you won’t call to achieve the life of your dreams is because of time and money. How many calls and emails do you make in a day? Make one that will change your life! Where else are you guaranteed to experience results and create what you most want in life? Put your investment to good use–on yourself!

What Do You Have to Prove?

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Do you remember those bullies on the playground who seemed to “always have something to prove to everyone else?” They were the ones who walked around like they owned the place, towered above the rest of the little people, and always seemed so confident of themselves.

This Saturday I completed my first triathlon. It was a small sprint that consisted of a 300 meter swim, 12 mile bike ride, and a 3.1 mile swim. It was something that was quite dressed down from my original goal set 7 years ago which was to complete a Full Ironman Triathlon. Later in the day I found myself starting to talk myself out of my good feelings. After all, it wasn’t my original goal and I knew that I would finish because I had run, biked, and swum all of those distances in my training. But then I thought, “I should be happy and celebrate because after all these years I finally accomplished it rather than telling myself it was to not have completed it yet, “because I knew that I could do it.”

Two days later I lost a competition with one of my clients. We had an eight week goal to lose 8 pounds and run 80 miles. We both exceeded the run, he lost 8 pounds and I only lost 4. When we started the challenge I was confident that I COULD lose the 8 pounds but I did not set out to PROVE to myself that I could. My mindset was not in the right place. There are a lot of things that we CAN do in life and the vast majority of them are never done because we walk around not fully committed to proving to ourselves that we can. It becomes an easy justification in our mind. How often have you heard the saying, “Well, I could if I really wanted to but I don’t really want to right now, but I know I could.” Using “I can” as a justification for why you haven’t accomplished something is a lame excuse. As a coach it is an interesting experience to lose a challenge to your client. There was a part of me that was happy for his success and another personal part that felt very incongruent and out of integrity. There is something to learn from that. I did not commit to prove to myself that I would accomplish what I was knew I could do. In the end, I did not prove it to myself.

Maybe it is not so bad to have something to prove to yourself once in a while. Maybe it is time to get a little cocky, put your money where your mouth is, or walk the walk and talk the talk. Take one of those things that you know you could do and PROVE to yourself that you can accomplish it by actually getting up off of your tailbone and doing it! I DARE YOU to prove to yourself that you CAN lose those 10 pounds that you have wanted to drop, make that career transition, or commit to that relationship and make it work.

The only reason you have not completed what you know you can is because you are too scared of what you will have to accept about who you are, what you are, or what else you are capable of achieving that goal is completed!

I am more determined than ever to win the next challenge that I have set with my client. I now have something to prove to myself. I look in the mirror every morning and set out to prove to myself that I can change my eating and exercise habits and see the results I want. (To my client: I just logged my miles on Nike.com and I am ahead of you now!) Now that I have completed a sprint triathlon I am looking for that next race and who I will become as I prove to myself I can do another in less time. I am even looking to an Olympic length triathlon.

It is time to bully your self into proving something to yourself. I dare you to walk around with your chest out a little more, your head up a little higher and let your confident actions show the world what you have to Prove. The race is never complete until you cross the finish line and get your official time. What do you have to prove to yourself in order to have lived a whole and complete life? Pick one. Sign up for a race and maybe I will see you at the starting line, we may pass each other during the race, or end up celebrating at the finish line! What do you have to prove?

Who’s Model Are You Putting Together?

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Whose Model are you Putting Together?

I remember putting together a plastic model of “The Fonz,” from Happy Days when I was a boy. I painted his jeans blue, his hair and jacket black, and his face was a deep bronze. (Must have had the wrong paint) I always wondered if my Dad had chosen the model for me or if I had chosen that model for myself.

Over the years and I have put together many other models following in my Dad’s footsteps. I put together cars, airplanes, and even a balsa wood airplane in college that actually flew. A couple of years ago I almost purchased a huge sailing ship to put together for my father. He had always wanted to construct such a masterpiece but never had. I was considering building it as a “labor of love” for him.

I recently brought home an old A-6 “Intruder” model airplane for my son, Nicolas, and wondered if he would follow in his father’s footsteps and put that model together one day. As I stored it on the shelf in his closet it suddenly hit me how closely I have modeled my father over the years.

When I was in 4th grade my father started his own business and was gone most of the time. He rarely came to my baseball games and I never saw him much through my elementary and high school years. When my son hit 4th grade I also started my own business, moved out of my home office and was “gone.” But, I modeled the opposite of my father by attending all of Nicolas’ sporting events and coached his basketball team.

There are always two ways to model the behaviors of the key people in our lives. We can model “towards” the examples they set for us or we can model “away” from the examples they set for us. I modeled towards my father in being entrepreneurial and away from him in one different aspect of fatherhood.

Which model are you choosing to put together in your life? How are you modeling your mother or father from when you were young? Are you modeling behaviors that empower you or dis-empower you? If you are walking around saying that you don’t have a good role model to create what you want, you are wrong. You have all you need in front of your eyes.

There is a great self study that tracked the lives of a pair of brothers who had an alcoholic father who was in and out of jail. One of the brothers grew to be a successful lawyer and businessman while the other became and alcoholic who was in and out of jail. The question of, “How did you become the man you are today?” was asked to each of them and they both gave the same answer. “How could I not, given who my father was?”

Look at the models in your life that are “not” what you want and be strong enough to do the exact opposite! If you remember things that you like from your childhood, do the same thing now. If you find yourself saying, “How can I have something different than this, after all, look at my parents, friend, etc…I don’t have a good role model.” Be strong enough to step up and do the opposite. If all of your buddy’s drink, stop drinking, if no one goes to the gym, get to the gym, if they argue and pick fights with their spouses, focus on giving to your spouse first. The rest will come in time and you will have developed your own model of success for yourself and who knows, maybe others will look at you model your success!

I love who I am now as a coach and father to my son, and it is because of the model my father gave me; EVEN THOUGH IT WAS “away” from what I wanted. By accepting the models that we have been given and choosing the life we want to put together for ourselves, there is acceptance and forgiveness towards the people who have given us the “away from” models. They are not the problem they are the solution. You just have to do the opposite! If you like who you are today it is because of who you modeled in the past; good or bad.

The A-6 airplane model is patiently sitting in the closet waiting for my son to choose to put together or not. Maybe he will or maybe he won’t. It is his choice what model to put together in his life. In the end, I hope to have built a model life that he can look up to and will be a great example for him.

Put your model life together even if the directions appear to be missing, you have seen it put together wrong in the past or you have a perfect example of how you would like it to be. You have all that you need right now to create what you most want in life. As you start to put the pieces of your model together; make no excuses and make it a masterpiece.

The Land of Milk & Honey

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I think at some point everyone has dreamed of winning the lottery so they never have to worry about anything again, finding that lost treasure chest filled with pirate gold or living in the proverbial land of “milk and honey.” I often wondered if there was such a place.

During college after many transitions and changes in my personal and educational endeavors, I graduated in May of 1991 with a Bachelor’s of Science from Iowa State University. My degree was in Economics and I really don’t remember anything about it except for the magnificent principle of supply and demand. The law states the when supply is low, and the commodity is in need, demand goes up and you can charge a higher price. When more of that commodity is produced and the demand for it drops, the price can not sustain itself and subsequently drops. This process of balancing between supply and demand is like a rocking chair going forwards and backwards over and over.

The same principles can be found in our emotional states. Are you living in abundance and prosperity or scarcity and fear? I was in a coaching session one day and a client asked me, “How do you move out of fear and into a place of prosperity?” What popped out of my mouth was profound, “Gratitude takes away all fear.” It is similar to one of the concepts in Victor Frankl’s book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Being grateful for the experiences and live you have is a key to letting go of fear.

Fear is an emotional indicator that something is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for. As a consequence, a scarcity mentality kicks in where a person thinks about all they do not have instead of what they do have. Those thoughts are the opposite of Gratitude and abundance. Scarcity breeds fear of loss, fear of not enough, and does not promote sharing, giving, or compassion for others.

Most people today seem to be wrestling with life and their mindset because there is a huge supply of fear. After all, that is what sells newspapers, grips people into watching the news every night, and leads our thoughts to an overabundance of fear. We are forgetting to cultivate a garden of gratitude. When fear, lack and scarcity are in greater abundance than gratitude, at the end of the day the gratitude is gone and there is nothing left but fear and uncertainty. Faith and Hope for a brighter future die a terrible death.

However, the “Land of Milk & Honey” can and does exist today. A person needs to be strong and build their muscles of thankfulness, gratitude and sound decisions. Josh Groban said it wonderfully in one of his songs, “All you need to love is in front of your eyes.” Not, all you need to love you don’t have yet, used to have, or somebody else has and you don’t!!

When we have a supply of gratitude that exceeds the demands being placed on it by the impacts of society, our peers, and our own personal thoughts; then optimism about the future kicks in and things are pretty good. We may not have all that we desire in life, the problems and bills to pay are still there, but inside our head at the end of the day there is a positive supply of healthy grateful thoughts left over.

Even in our recession, we still are the greatest land of opportunity because we have free trade. You can go out and live your dream today, build your own business, go back to college for that extra educational experience, still have another child, go to grocery stores that are never out of food, and stand in a checkout line with 3 people in front of you instead of waiting for hours for a loaf of bread or bowl of rice.

The key to the pirate’s treasure chest is in your mind. If you have an abundance of gratitude and thankfulness for all that you do have today you can live a life free of fear, scarcity and lack. You can count the golden things you already have in life and remember you have already won the lottery. The “Land of Milk and Honey” does exist; it is in your MIND! Remember, gratitude takes away all fear! Today I am thankful for…

JUNE SPECIALS:

CD Special:

What have you been feeding your mind lately? Order the “Powerful Positive Parenting” 2-CD set & the “Panning for Emotional Gold” CD as a package for the special price of $29.99 + S&H charge of $3.95. All orders will be shipped on Friday, June 12th. See payment instructions below. Order your copies today!

COACHING Special: Fast Track for Success in June

Are you looking to jump start your weight loss for spring, take control of your finances, build a better relationship or take the next step in your career? The Fast Track for Success program allows you to focus on making those consistent changes daily for you to get what you want by making “small deposits every day.” Most of us overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten.

For only $199 you get a specialized, 6-Step program personalized to achieve your goal.
Step 1: Complete the Pre-Call Worksheet for a single goal
Step 2: 30-minute Coaching session to set up new strategies for success
Step 3: You send me a daily email or voicemail with the top 3-5 specific things you are committed to do that day to reach your monthly goal. I will personally respond to every email or voicemail with helpful tips hints, and strategies to overcome your challenges you have along the way
Step 4: After the completion of week 2, a 15-minute check-in call to measure and monitor your success.
Step 5: Repeat Step 3
Step 6: 15-Minute Celebration Call to re-enforce the changes you have made and revise strategies for continued success.

I invite you to experience more success in a single month than you have had in the first two quarters of this year. Success can be yours for only $5 per day, M-F. The only reason you won’t call to achieve the life of your dreams is because of time and money. How many calls and emails do you make in a day? Make one that will change your life–and for only $5 per day! Where else are you guaranteed to experience results, see changes, and create what you most want in your life for such a small investment? Put your investment to good use–on yourself!

SURE HIRE ASSESSMENT Special:

I now am offering a condensed Sure Hire Assessment Package that consists of a complete DiSC Model Assessment and the NLP Metaprograms report. It also included the original 60-minute personalized consultation to go over the results. It is now priced at an introductory price of $199 per assessment.

By the way, if you know anyone who needs support hiring the right person for the job. Have them check out the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment at www.surehirenow.com
They can enjoy $50 off the regular price of $399.

For every referral you will receive a $25 Gift Card to any store of your choice as our way of saying “Thank You.”

TELECONFERENCE Special:

Join us on Wednesday, June 24th for the exciting “MOTIVATIONAL FOOTBALL” Teleconference. Whether you are sports enthusiast or not, learn to get overcome procrastination, get more motivated and motivate others to achieve more. Motivation is one of the keys for successful leadership today in business, home and in personal accomplishment. There is a way to always be motivated and now you can learn how. Early registration is only $39 between now and Monday, June 22nd. See payment instructions below.

Please pass on this “Thought of the Week” to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought.”. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.

If you wish to unsubscribe, please reply with “Unsubscribe” in the subject line.

To pay or register for any Evolution for Success Service:

To Register:

1. Log onto www.PayPal.com
2. Click on the “Business” Tab at the Upper Right Hand corner of the webpage
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~OR~

You may send a check, cash or money order to:

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Are You Playing Life Full Out?

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As many of you know, I love to run; mostly for the freedom to “Be” without any of the extra pressures of life clouding my thoughts and feelings. It is a real moment to be true with myself and the world around.

Since running on asphalt is easier on your knees than the sidewalk, I always run on the side of the street into oncoming traffic instead of going with the flow. In life, it’s always better to keep your head up and see what is coming at you. It’s the safest way to run.

Every once in a while a car will come speeding around a corner well over the speed limit and sometimes slowly veer toward me. In an effort to stay alive I have found that by waving to the drivers they are inclined to notice me more and slow down. Some wave and some don’t and that is why I would like to ask you the question, “Are you playing life full out?”

I did an experiment while running the other day. During the first part of my run I waved to about 50 people. Approximately 45 of the 50 people waved back or acknowledged my friendly gesture in some positive manner. For the next 50 cars that passed I did not wave or gesture in any way. Guess what? Approximately 47 of the 50 people did not wave or gesture to me when they drove by even though I worked to make eye contact with each of them.

You and I have a choice on how we choose to live our lives mentally, emotionally, financially and physically. I chose to reach out to 50 people and “Play Life Full Out.” I waved, smiled, and made an effort to connect with each one. For the 45 people that gestured back in some way, I left an impression in their mind and life. I do not know exactly what the impression was but it provided an opportunity for them. I reached out with a friendly gesture, they accepted it, and responded in kind. Did you know that it is a natural human instinct to accept or take what other people offer you?

The 50 people who drove by without reaching out to some crazy runner on the side of the road were also “Playing Life Full Out.” The difference is that they were playing full out by not giving, receiving or returning a connection with another person. I don’t know why and I don’t really care what their reasons were. All of them could have had very legitimate reasons for not responding. However, they also left an impression on me by not waving back. In effect, their lack of reaching out made an impression that is being passed on from me to you and they don’t realize the impact from their lack of reaching out either.

If you are struggling with an issue in your life right now and are having a difficult time perhaps you are so lost in your own mind or thoughts that you are driving right past someone who could be offering you something that could make a difference in your day. Perhaps you are passing people in your day that could use a friendly gesture but you are so caught up in your world you pass up the opportunity to make a difference for them. By helping others we end up helping ourselves in the end. Maybe you are a little down because you have been waving to a few people who have not waved back. Keep waving to other people if they don’t immediately return your friendly gesture. Keep your head up, eventually someone will smile and wave back and when you open yourself up to receive their greeting it can be very rewarding.

When you put good vibrations and intentions into the world, remember the age old saying, “What goes around comes around.” Maybe someone just needs a friend to help out and start the process. What you put out and share with in this world defines who you are in this world. People will tend to accept what you give them whether it is a positive, neutral or negative response. I had a very different emotional state between after waving to the people who waved back and then working to create a connection with the 50 people and seeing if they would wave first. One motivated and empowered me and the second absolutely tested my ability to stay positive and outgoing.

I challenge you to start waving to the people you pass everyday in life. The next time you see a runner on the road you just may give them the boost they need to keep their head up and finish strong! Malcolm Forbes stated, “It is always worthwhile to let others know of their worth.” You don’t need to know the person in order to let them know they have worth. When you need it, I hope you find someone waving to you too! I look forward to seeing you on the road!

IF you are interested in learning more about identifying the deeper emotions that drive the people in your life attend the May 27th Teleconference, “Panning for Emotional Gold.” It will show you a proven method for identifying and understanding people’s emotional states. You will learn to influence others better, sell and motivate your business peers, find deeper ways to connect with your family and spouse, and see your life in a whole new way.

Early registration has been extended until May 25th for the course rate of $39. “Panning for Emotional Gold” will contain the theoretical model along with practical exercises during the call for an interactive experience.

In order to accommodate this new, more engaging Teleconference format, the call may be extended for an additional session to be held the following week on Wednesday, June 3rd.

You can also pre-order the CD for $14.99 before Wednesday, May 20th.

MAY Special: By the way, if you know anyone who needs support hiring the right person for the job. Have them check out the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment at www.surehirenow.com
They can enjoy $100 off the regular price of $399. That is a savings of 25%.
For every referral you will receive a $25 Gift Card to any store of your choice as our way of saying “Thank You.”

Be sure to check out my website: www.evolutionforsuccess.com soon for an exciting new 2-CD release on Powerful Positive Parenting, due out May 18, 2009. Order your copy today for only $24.99 + S&H. You will receive the 2-CD set plus Handouts in MS Word format.

Please pass this on to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought” this week. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.

If you wish to unsubscribe, please reply with “Unsubscribe” in the subject line.

Panning for Emotional Gold

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I had an interesting parenting revelation a while back that has really stuck with me in a deep and profound way. One day I found myself telling my daughter, “Come here and give me a hug and kiss.” It is a common phrase that every parent has probably used at one time or another. What struck me in that moment was the fact that I was asking my daughter to give me love and affection instead of me giving it to her. That small distinction really hit hard because it goes against my identity as a parent. I believe the love should “go downhill” and not be expected the other way around.

So, like any great coach, I changed my language to include phrases like, “I have a hug for you that I have waiting all day to give you,” or “I really wanted to give you this kiss to take with you. It is a very special hug and I would love for you to have it.” Instantly, my daughter was more open and receptive to receiving and giving affections.

That led to some different insights in my coaching. I have a client who is working on relationship issues tell me, “What does she do for me?” and I immediately replied, “A better question to ask would be, who is she for you in your relationship?” Many times we forget emotionally who people are for us in a relationship and what they provide us emotionally.

Isabelle, my daughter, in her helpfulness a few weeks ago was getting me a glass of water for dinner and I told her that I didn’t want any. I personally don’t drink water at dinner and her reaction was immediate rejection and sadness. Without thinking, I reached down and took the glass out of her hands, gave her a huge hug and told her that I didn’t want the glass of water but I did want and accept all of the love and helpfulness she was giving to me by getting me the glass of water. Her love and helpfulness was the biggest gift of all. She threw her little arms around my neck and said, “Daddy, I love you too!”

How often do we shut people down emotionally without even realizing it? Every action a person takes meets an emotional need for them. Sometimes it is so hard to understand and see what the other persons emotional needs are in the moment.

When we identify and understand the emotions behind the actions people take and then acknowledge them, we create connections at a deeper, more fulfilling level. It is never about the glass of water or what someone will “do” for you in a relationship but it is about who they are being for you in the relationship. Isabelle was reaching out and Being loving and helpful to me.

As Zig Ziglar says, “You can have everything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want.” The beauty of that statement is not found in the material things you help others get but by helping them have their deeper emotional needs met. I interpret it as, “You can have all the emotional fulfillment you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want emotionally in their life.” The key is not in having other people come to you but in you going to them and giving first!

IF you are interested in learning more about identifying the deeper emotions that drive the people in your life attend the May 27th Teleconference, “Panning for Emotional Gold.” It will show you a proven method for identifying and understanding people’s emotional states. You will learn to influence others better, sell and motivate your business peers, find deeper ways to connect with your family and spouse, and see your life in a whole new way.

Early registration before May 20th is $39 for the course. “Panning for Emotional Gold” will contain the theoretical model along with practical exercises during the call for an interactive experience.

In order to accommodate this new, more engaging Teleconference format, the call may be extended for an additional session to be held the following week on Wednesday, June 3rd.

You can also pre-order the CD for $14.99 before Wednesday, May 20th.

MAY Special: By the way, if you know anyone who needs support hiring the right person for the job. Have them check out the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment at www.surehirenow.com
They can enjoy $100 off the regular price of $399. That is a savings of 25%.
For every referral you will receive a $25 Gift Card to any store of your choice as our way of saying “Thank You.”

Be sure to check out my website: www.evolutionforsuccess.com soon for an exciting new 2-CD release on Powerful Positive Parenting, due out May 18, 2009. Order your copy today for only $24.99 + S&H. You will receive the 2-CD set plus Handouts in MS Word format.

Please pass this on to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought” this week. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.

If you wish to unsubscribe, please reply with “Unsubscribe” in the subject line.

How to Change the World…

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Do you remember some of the great experiments you did in science class when you were in middle school? I remember watching the after school show, “Zoom” and they always had some wonderful home experiments.

I especially loved the science experiment about static electricity where you rubbed the balloon on your head and it would stick on the wall. There was also the trick of running a black comb through your hair, turning on a small stream of water out of the faucet and then putting it next to the water. I was fascinated that the static energy in the comb would actually bend the stream of water towards the comb.

In the book, Power VS Force by David Hawkins, Ph. D., emotional states were tested using kinesiology on a relative index of 1-1,000. There was a direct correlation between the emotional state of a person and the power/force they simultaneously exhibited through their muscle strength.

Some of the correlations between the emotional states and an individual’s relative strength were: Shame (20), Guilt (30), Fear (100), Anger (150), Courage (200), Neutral (250), Acceptance (350), Love (500), Joy (540), Peace (600), and Enlightenment (700-1,000).

Imagine that you kept running the comb of life through your hair in a state of Shame, Guilt or Fear and created very little energy. How much of that water stream would you be able to impact or attract towards yourself? What thoughts, people, and events would you be able to influence in those lower emotional states? My thought is not too many!

However, if you ran that comb through your hair everyday and charged it to the maximum with those higher states of Love, Joy, and Peace, how large of an impact would you have on that stream of water? What thoughts, people, and events would you be able to “bend towards you” in those higher emotional states? How would you be able to bend the normal stream of everyday life in a different way that would help to change your life, the life of others and the world?

When we take actions to engage life with high energy and run that comb through our hair in the morning so that it has the maximum charge throughout the day, we attract more positive people, events, and thoughts to us. By simply changing your emotional state to a higher level more consistently, you can’t help but attract better people, experiences, and thoughts into your life.

There are many ways to charge your life. For men, it is through physical activity and recreation. Women can charge their life by being relieved of the responsibility to be everything and do everything for everyone.

I would encourage you to continue to keep taking actions to run that comb of Love, Joy and Peace through your hair everyday! You will attract more positive people, events, and thoughts into your life. You can change your life, the lives of others, and the world!

A Historic Moment

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A Historic Moment

January 20, 2009, was very historic day for the United States of America. For the first time since the birth of this nation an American citizen with racial ethnicity of 50% Caucasian, 43.75% Arabic and 6.25% Black African, was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. Over 1.4 million Americans were packed together like sardines to watch President Barack Obama be sworn into public office.

Where was I during this momentous day in history? Watching a live internet feed in my office as it snowed for the first time in four years here in Raleigh, NC. I started to think of other moments that changed the course of history; in my living room in Tempe, AZ as the Twin Towers in New York City collapsed, in Target as I watched news of the Oklahoma City Bombings, in a ski lodge in Vail, CO as America began the Gulf War, in our old farmhouse with my mom watching the famous USA/Russia Olympic Hockey game, and in Kewanee, IL watching our living room TV as it showed black and white news footage of Elvis stepping off of a plane in Hawaii with a lei around his neck.

Remembering these moments in history got me thinking about some of the other happy memories from my life. I remember tromping through weeds twice as tall as me the day my dad and I went fishing, sitting in the back of the car going for an ice cream cone at the Tasty Freeze when the flavor of the night was lemon, or the thrill of shooting frogs with my cousins in a small farm pond in Missouri.

With my kids being so young, I started to wonder how they would remember the events of today. Probably, Nicolas and Isabelle will remember the snow today more than anything. I am hoping if we explain the historical significance of the day with Nicolas, and sit down with him tonight to watch the recording of the inauguration, he may remember it.

• What will your kids or other loved one’s remember as the Magic Moments over the course of their lifetime?
• What are you doing to create those Magic Moments with them?
• What will they remember when they are 40, 50, or 80 years old?
• Will those Magic Moments be filled with happy emotional times that you have created or one’s that have just happened?
• How can you work to purposefully live and share a life of Magic Moments for everyone you come in contact with?

Every moment could be a significant moment that someone will rememberas significant for the rest of their life. And, you hold within yourself the ability to make it be one! I am sure that my Dad didn’t plan on taking me fishing that day in order for me to have a Magical Moment that I would remember 30 years later. I don’t know if he even remembers how good that lemon ice cream tasted that night we drove to the Tasty Freeze. I do know that I have told my Uncle Don one million “Thank You’s” for the Missouri farm pond trips. However, I doubt he ever knew the tremendous impact they would have for me in my life when he invited me to go.

What makes these such Magical Moments? When someone steps up to serve, give and share a moment in their life to create something special with and for someone else. If you look back over your life I am sure that you have many Magical Moments. As you look forward to your future, what kind of Magic Moments could you create? Every moment of life has the potential for a Magic Moment. America will continue to have Magical Moments of history. Those Magic Moments are what make a country great. I encourage you to create some Magic Moments for yourself and others also! It will be what makes your life Great too!

Play Head’s Up in 2009!

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Play Head’s Up in 2009!

During my Federal Law Enforcement Training one of the most important tools they taught us in self defense class was awareness. The best way to stay safe in any situation, day or night, was to be always be aware of your environment. The classic victim of violence is the person who is caught unaware. They are completely taken by surprise by their attacker and never see it coming. It is ironic that one of the best self defense tools isn’t marital arts, a weapon, or whistle, but simply “Keeping Your Head Up.”

The same principle applies in the fundamentals of basketball. One of the hardest skills for a youth to master when they begin playing is to dribble the basketball without looking down at it. Before a young player can have any court awareness they have to learn to dribble with their head up. Once they can dribble with one hand, “Keeping Their Head Up,” their skills almost double overnight. It is a small jump to dribbling a ball in both hands simultaneously, and their can passing, receiving and shooting skills are dramatically better. Their court awareness skills develop and suddenly instead of having five individual players on the court, the “team” develops as they play more cohesively. Of all of the slogans and saying I could have put on the gym bags I gave my team after winning the YMCA Valleywide Youth Basketball Tournament in Arizona was, “Keep Your Head Up.” It is a great life lesson to keep playing, “Heads Up Ball.”

As we look a little further into the concept of “Keeping Your Head Up,” let’s do a simple exercise. Dip your head down to your chest and notice what you feel. Slowly lift your head up and as your chin hits parallel with the ground notice the switch in emotion. As you keep lifting your head higher, notice how your shoulders drop and relax, slowly your posture straightens, you feel better, and more confident. Do the old sayings of, “Look forward towards your future, Lift your head up and rejoice,” and “Look towards a brighter tomorrow” carry a deeper meaning now?

I would ask that as you move into 2009, keep looking forward in anticipation of a brighter year than 2008. Put your shoulders back in a state of confidence and relaxation. Raise your game by building your skills and mastering this simple fundamental skill. It will raise your level of play in life and help you build exciting and more dynamic teams around you. You will not be a victim in life that is easily surprised or taken unaware but an individual who is alert, confident, and able to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves. No matter what your dreams, goals, hopes, and desires in 2009, “Keep Your Head Up!”

I wish you a New Year and a New Life this next year. Have a Peaceful, Powerful, and Prosperous 2009.

To your continued success,

James