Living a Life of Purpose & Meaning

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Last January 31st, U.S. Marine Sgt. William Stacey was killed during his fourth deployment to Afghanistan. Yesterday, his last letter was read to his fellow Marines to commemorate Memorial Day. His dream, his life purpose, was to provide the children of Afghanistan an opportunity to get an education, attend school and achieve something better for their lives.

He wrote, “There will be a child who will live because men left the security they enjoyed in their home to come to his,” Stacey wrote in his letter. “He will have the gift of freedom which I have enjoyed for so long myself, and if my life brings the safety of a child who will one day change the world, then I know that it was all worth it.”

As a veteran, there is nothing quite like the camaraderie experienced while serving this great country. Every soldier has their personal reasons for serving, but a bigger vision, meaning and purpose brings the individuals, families, communities, and branches of service together to form this great nation.

Ghandi stated, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” As individuals in the civilian world, it is critical at the individual level to make sure we live and create our personal vision, meaning and life purpose. We are responsible for having that vision to bring our families, communities and country together. Sometimes, this can be challenging since we are not in a system like the military that more naturally promotes it.

A person’s fulfillment in life comes through having a vision. It can be as simple as the one shared by Sgt. Stacey. Many people struggle to find it, but if you are willing, it is out there waiting for you. You may ask yourself, “Why is it so important to have a vision, a purpose and a meaning for life?” Because living a life of purpose allows you to rise to a challenge, overcome obstacles, feel strong and powerful and make a difference in life.

Sculptor Henry Moore stated, “The secret of life is to have a task, something to devote your entire life to; something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do!” Moore’s task was to be the greatest sculptor every known and know it!

And sometimes, in order to bring the world, a country, and a community together; all it takes is the courage and conviction of one person. A person who lives a life based on values of freedom, duty, selflessness and sacrifice in service of others.

As Steven Chandler states in his book, Fearless, “Courage inspires…even the courage of a fearless, impossible vision.” One person can make a difference in this world if they are true to their purpose, live fearless, and live a life devoted to a task they can’t complete. Because in the end, they may just do it!

Thank you to every veteran who has served this great country and to those who gave us the gift of freedom with their life.

If you know the vision, purpose and meaning for your life, I would love to read about it below. If you are still searching, call today for your complimentary strategy session. (919) 792-0085

Searching for your life purpose? Call 919-792-0085 for a free strategy session!

Say What??? Shake Up Your Beliefs with NLP Pattern Interrupts

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Using a “Pattern Interrupt”, an NLP Technique, is a great way of initiating change in your behavior.  It creates a virtual Hiccup in your thought process so that your normal pattern of behavior is interrupted and you can consciously insert a new belief that leads to an action.

Humor is a fantastic tool to incorporate into the Pattern Interrupt because it links up a “fun” state to the new behavior you choose to take afterwards. Here are a few fun pattern interrupts that have come up with clients lately.

Belief: a “Waste not, want not” attitude in regards to food at dinner.

“You can Waste it, or Waist it, which waist do you want?”

Belief: I am too tired to get up in the morning.

“It is a simple matter of mind over mattress.”

Belief: I’ll start tomorrow, I meant to do that, or I was going to…

“When would NOW be a good time to start?”

Belief: I don’t know.

“I know I don’t know what I don’t know now, but if I did know now, what would I know to do?”

Belief:  We argue all the time.

“This is a great opportunity for discussion.”

Belief: I hate this!

“This situation is truly less that favorable!”

And my favorite:

Belief: It’s not in my job description, I shouldn’t have to do it.

“If you don’t stay sharp and on point, like the tip of a spear, all you get in the end is the shaft.”

 

Pattern Interrupts can be a great tool for not only changing your state but the emotional state of others also. The shock value of not giving a “typical” response is what ignites the opportunity for change to happen in patterns of thought. Adding humor is like adding gas to the fire!

Have fun creating some pattern interrupts for yourself.  I would love to hear yours below.

 

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Use NLP To Take Control of Your Bad Days

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Having a Tough Day?  If you are, chances are you are acting in one of these different behavior patterns. The science of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), holds that a person is not their behavior. However, if you’re having a tough day — and even the best of us has been there at one point or another–, it is time to change your behavior to get some different results.

See if your bad day is a result of one of the following behavioral patterns, take responsibility for where you are and create a Powerful Change!

1-  Victim: the victim plays the blame game, noticeable by a very low tolerance for handling the problems and challenges in life.  He or she is reluctant to take responsibility, pushing it off instead on others. Often, feeling that they are a “victim of circumstance”, they don’t believe they have any control  over the circumstances they find themselves in.

SOLUTION: Ask, “What do I want to have? And, what do I have direct control/influence over in order to make that happen?”  Take any small action now and make sure to appreciate the action taken, no matter how small.

2-  Quitter: quitters tend to be out of touch with self and others around them. Quitters hide out in the shadows away from the group. They are easily distracted, do not commit, believe the effort is not worth the reward, and talk themselves out of what they most desire.

SOLUTION: Confront yourself with a detailed plan and get in touch with your emotions around following through with it

3-  Wizard of Oz: The Wizard of Oz’s believe that there is reward without action. They believe in the “Secret” and the “Law of Attraction”  If they just believe with enough will power, things will happen. They believe in shaping the future but they just “hope” it will become so. They believe the answer is out there, somewhere over the rainbow, somehow, some way it is going to happen.

SOLUTION: Get grounded in the reality of the situation now and add Action to the optimism and hope that good things will come. Engage in the pursuit of the worthy goal along with the beliefs that somewhere, somehow, your dreams will come true.

4-  Worry Wart: Fear takes over the worry wart. They focus most of their energy on what may happen, instead of looking at what they want to make happen. Fear means a person is not prepared for something they perceive may happen in the future. Many times there is too much focus on what they “don’t” want to happen.

SOLUTION: Say it the way you want the future to be.  Engage in a little more of the “over the rainbow” traits.  Take action and engage some faith and hope that your actions will bring you the results you most desire and if needed, build a back-up plan to deal with what you fear might happen in the future.

5-  Run-a-Way: the Run-a-way is stuck in a place of Busy-ness instead of taking the time to focus on what is most important in the Busi-ness of their life. They take massive action without a clear focus on the long term outcomes. They engage in what they know they can do easily and effortlessly in the short term and never take on the real problems they are facing.

SOLUTION: build a vision so you know your long term outcome.  Brain dump everything in your mind that you should do, could do, need to do and ought to do. Focus on the top 10% of those items that will bring you 90% of your success. Hint: What you are fearing and procrastinating the most, or what seems the hardest, is the action you should be working towards achieving.

6-  Actor: the actor works to show that everything is always perfect in their world. For them, it is a challenge to face the truth and live in a way that others may not approve. Actors do not have their own opinions and are always agreeable to what others do. They have to keep up with Jones’ and will do anything to put on a good show for others.

SOLUTION: Stop believing what others think you should be, do and have and define it for yourself.  Be brave and bold within yourself.  Find and reconnect with your own truth, your personal mission or purpose in life.  Forget what everyone else thinks of you and your public persona.  Engage and act your personal truth. If you are effective with that, you will be causing some talk and speculation.

7-  Bull in a China Shop: The bull keeps on looking for breakthroughs but is never truly transformed because they are not celebrating their own results and what is precious in their life now! Bulls have a hard time being satisfied with themselves. They think being the strongest and showing it off is the only way to win. They also seek approval from being the top dog and will do anything to get there.

SOLUTION: become satisfied with yourself for who you are and where you are on your path of life right now…stop, enjoy, and smell the roses like Ferdinand the Bull!

 

If you are having a bad day, chances are, one of these NLP personas will hold the key to getting you to a better day! Remember that you are not your behavior. If you don’t like your results, you have a choice!

Failure, anger, and frustration most often signal the opportunity to stop and ask, “which one of these traits am I stuck in?”  You probably already know which of these you tend to gravitate to.  I encourage you to not have the goal or intention of never being there again, instead, just find quicker and quicker ways to move through the disempowering states you do encounter. Flip those bad days around!  Chose to move through these behavior patterns and come out the other side, better, stronger and more successful!

 

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Success in Three Minutes a Day… How To Stay Focused

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Some of the most popular and famous self-help books are the ones that are short, simple and concise. Take James Allens’ classic book, “As a Man Thinketh.”  is powerful and insightful. Benjamin Franklin is remembered for his exercise around living 13 Core Values; the first ever self-help exercise.

Another short classic is a wonderful little book called, “It Works,” by RHJ. The Success Solution presented in the book is also simple, powerful and effective.

One of the greatest challenges any Executive or Entrepreneur faces when it comes to achieving goals is being focused. This process is designed to help you stay focused on achieving what you want in life and business.

 

Here are the simple steps. So, if you are ready, grab a clean journal and proceed.

1-  Write down everything you sincerely, earnestly and truthfully desire in your business and life. It is OK to have it shift from day to day or week to week as you work on figuring out what those items are. Have them be as specific as possible; use the SMART format when writing them.

2-  Go through the list at least three times a day: morning, noon and night

3-  Feel free to rewrite you list from time to time, rearrange and reprioritize it. Add and delete items as necessary. When your fears and doubts pop up in your mind, just pull out your list and reread it.

4-  Take action and don’t tell anyone what’s on your list.

5-  When items on your list start to appear, be sure and give a HUGE “THANK YOU” for them coming to fruition. Gratitude is important because it leads to true happiness in life.

6-  Repeat!

One final note, be sure that what you want will only bring on positive consequences. Remember that everything you put on the list will have both an upside and a downside that comes with it. It has to be good for you to have and also good for all of those around you.  Start with small items on your list and work your way up to the larger ones.

This simple exercise will test you to your limit because it is really an exercise in consistent, long term focus. I have to keep remembering to review, rewrite and update my list. It is fun and challenging, which means like most things that are worthwhile in life, the results will be amazing.

I would love to hear of your successes below and welcome your comments below!

If you would like more information on other classic short books that create profound results, visit: www.executivebooks.com

 

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Beware of the Assumptions You Make Subconsciously

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Are you familiar with this parable?

A clergyman was walking along a country road when he saw a young farmer struggling to load a huge pile of hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

“It’s at least 100 degrees out here today and baking hot,’ said the cleargyman, ‘and the sweats pouring off of you. Why don’t you stop and rest for a few minutes?’

‘No, I can’t stop now,’ said the young farmer. ‘my father would not like it at all.’

And he continued re-loading the hay with determination. ‘but surely,’ continued the clergyman, ‘everyone is entitled to short break once in a while. Here, have a drink of water.’

I’d better not,’ said the young farmer, ‘my father would be really mad if I stopped now.’ And he continued reloading the hay.’

‘Your father must be a real slave driver,’ said the clergyman. ‘tell me where he is and I’ll give him a good piece of my mind!’

The young farmer replied, ‘he’s under the load of hay!’

How many times have you been stunned to discover your assumption about a situation did not match the reality of the situation at all?  We’ve all been there!

Making assumptions about situations is a natural human behavior. However, being careful in making assumptions is very important. Assumptions influence the general attitudes that a person has. General attitudes lead to what we expect to happen in certain situations. Those expectations over time, lead to creating beliefs that are held to be true. Those beliefs, in turn, influence out actions. And actions determine the Results that we have in life.

Making sure that you assume the best in all situations and all people can have a tremendously positive impact in your life. Over time, assume the best and you will have the best.

 

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Dealing With Negative Emotions: 3 Solutions to Keep Your Word

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Dealing with negative emotions is a universal experience.  In last week’s blog post, I wrote that,

“…you will always have to overcome some combination of the following challenging emotional states to keep your word: fatigue, discouragement, loneliness, overwhelm, doubt, nervousness, humiliation, frustration, resentment, powerlessness, anger,  feeling inadequate or imcompetent, and even jealousy of others.

The power of self-confidence and keeping your word is learning to embrace these emotional states as they come up, and accept them as appropriate and warranted given the goal that you are pursuing. If you stop trying to run away from these negative emotions,  you are already half way towards the successful completion of your goal. The power comes through pushing through those disempowering states. Even better, get excited about them! Anticipate these emotions and welcome them as part of a natural component on your path to victory.”

Here are three powerful ways to learn to embrace these negative emotions and use them to your advantage.

1-  Learn to love them.

My wife and I both love to spend time together and feel grateful that I work from home. When she goes to Paris to see her family or on her yearly girls beach trip, I go into single parent mode. One way I have been able to deal with the frustration, overwhelm and tiredness when she is away to adopt the belief that, “I love missing her.” Focusing on the positive side of missing her reminds me of why I love being with her on a day to day basis. This leads me to positive thoughts and memories and my mood changes for the better.  Very often you can take a disempowering emotion, and turn it upside down by giving it a new meaning.  That new association can then help you move past the moment and discomfort.

2-  Journal the answer to this question,

“what is there to learn from this feeling of ___________, the learning of which, will allow me to let go of it, easily and effortlessly?”

There is a reason “why” we feel disempowering emotional states but most of the time we don’t stop to ask ourselves “why.” I like to say that disempowering emotional states are indicators of where we are incongruent between our head and heart. Clearing up the conflict between what we think and how we feel, allows us to find a new belief and action to take that are more congruent.

3-  Focus on what you want to create.

Shifting your focus to “creating what you want to have” will often times push disempowering emotional states away. If you shift your focus to what you want to create by taking an action, your focus will shift to a more empowering place. If you have a hard time exercising, shift your focus to what you want to create by exercising; an energetic, healthy, vibrant body where you feel good about yourself. If you are pushing back on your taxes, shift your focus to what you want to create by completing them; a new financial future where you manage your money responsibly and reap the rewards for it. Shifting your thoughts away from what you’re feeling in the moment towards what you want to create in the future will help you work through disempowering emotions.

What are some of your strategies for dealing with negative emotions and moving forward through adversity?  Please comment below!

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Self-Confidence, The Side Benefit of Keeping Your Promises

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One of my clients, an extremely successful entrepreneur and businessman for whom I feel tremendous respect, closes every coaching session with, “I will strive to complete my campaign in its entirety, you have my word, and I have my word.” To which I respond, “And, I love your word.”

What is so powerful about that sentence is “the word.”  The secret power of the “Word” is the underlying commitment to achieve what is on his list no matter what the cost before our next coaching session. Remarkably, he has completed his campaign for the last straight 108 weeks of coaching. How powerful is that? What’s the secret?

Over the last two years, things have come and gone on his weekly commitment sheet. Some have stayed the same but many others have come and gone as he completed them. What has been consistent is that he has kept his commitment and word to himself.

At the core of all self-confidence, power and success is the ability to follow through and do what you say you are going to do long after the excitement and passion of the moment passes.

And, why is that so powerful? Because when you set a commitment or goal, you have to automatically put your obstacles in place.

Specifically, you will always have to overcome some combination of the following challenging emotional states to keep your word: fatigue, discouragement, feeling inadequate, loneliness, overwhelm, doubt, nervousness, humiliation, incompetence, frustration, resentment, powerlessness, anger, and even jealousy of others.

The power of self-confidence and keeping your word is learning to embrace these emotional states as they come up, and accept them as appropriate and warranted given the goal that you are pursuing. If you stop trying to run away from these negative emotions,  you are already half way towards the successful completion of your goal. The power comes through pushing through those disempowering states. Even better, get excited about them! Anticipate these emotions and welcome them as part of a natural component on your path to victory.

I recently supported another high level business executive who had an interesting belief about what needed to happen in order for him to be successful in his job. He needed to be put into a position where he was expected to do the impossible, solve that challenge when no one else could, and in his words, “face that ugly beast that no one else could kill.” He gets paid handsomely to do such valiant deeds!

Successful people know how to embrace and use fatigue or moments of indecision and take responsibility. They create a link that takes them from the disempowering state to a more resourceful one.

My client has powerful days because he conditions himself to push through obstacles and push through what most people would consider disempowering states to create an incredible business and life.

In many ways, your success –not only in your business, but in your personal life too, is directly proportional to amount of challenging emotional states you can overcome on a daily basis in the pursuit of your goals. Not surprisingly, that’s also directly proportional to the amount of self-confidence you will have. That’s the power of keeping “your word.”

 

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7 Proven Techniques to Be Your Own Executive Coach

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I often tell people that, “I am my own best client.” Being an Executive Life Coach gives me the privilege to meet an amazing array of successful leaders, from business owners to executives.  Together, we establish new patterns of success, explore more effective ways to approach challenges, and set up strategies to stay on track.

And although a lot happens during a call, a large portion of the work happens outside of a coaching session –namely the client has to engage the motivation to take action and implement the strategies from the call.  Here are 7 simple strategies you can use to coach *yourself* whether or not you are in fact working with an executive coach.

1-  Stop for a few moments every morning and reconnect with your life’s purpose, truths and desires. Take a look at the big picture of what you want to create, your mission, purpose, and desires for the future. Really focus on getting to your place of truth of what you most desire. Go deeper than, “win the lottery, get a date, take my kids to school and relax tonight watching tv.” Find a moment to reflect on the inner truths of your life. It will serve and guide your decisions and actions the rest of the day.

2-  Make a list of the top 3-5 very specific things you are fearing, procrastinating or just plain old scared to death to do. They should be things that are moving you towards your purpose, truth, mission, and desires from step #1. I often ask myself, “If I were to die tonight, what would I do today to die a whole and complete man, knowing that I lived my purpose? What small challenges would I overcome for my own personal triumphs?” Remember the 80-20 rule? That top 20% is the sum of the small action items where you are currently out of integrity because you may be fearful and procrastinating.

3-  Move your body to motivate yourself to kick some ass: personally and with others. Pick up that old song, move your body and sing at the top of your lungs. You have to move if you want to create energy. Remember, force = mass X acceleration. If you never move your mass, you will never start to accelerate your life and it will never have any energy. You have to move! We are made to move. Drop the expectations of hours at the gym, do something simple, stretch, walk, and find a way to move! Listen to that song, put your chin up and shoulders back, take a deep breath from down in your diaphragm. Enjoy the feeling!

4-  Break the rules. Even yours sometimes! I’m not talking about doing something to get youself in jail but if you would never roll down the windows and sing at the top of your lungs…do it. Break some small rules to experience that little emotional “Yeah” (I repeat, nothing against the law! :D)  People stuck in their lives of hum-drum will just tell you to be quiet and keep things even keeled, but emotional moment sticks with you!!! So bring in the passion!  Dare to go against expectations, take a risk or buck conventions a bit!

5-  Find a peer group to create leverage to complete items #1-4. We all need some outside support to achieve our dreams. I have three very close people (besides my wife) who help to keep me focused, energized and accountable to what I say I am going to do. It is great to have a full life and share it with others. You guys know who you are and “YOU ROCK!”  They are my greatest cheer team and they also hold nothing back in terms of direct feedback! Remember, no one stands up and the Oscars to accept the award and says, “Yeah man, I deserve this. I worked my butt off and no one helped me at all. I am the man.” Instead, they always have people to thank for their success. Who would you thank?

6-  Learn something new that is of interest to you and apply it. Read all you can and immerse yourself in developing your personal interests. It will build into your life creativity, mastery of skill, and it will become not what you know, but who you are. And, remember to apply one thing you learn everyday until it is mastered in your life.

7-  Last and best… Remember to work from you places of strength, not weakness. Remember the basic principles that define who you are and how you want to live your life.  Remember that while you may be driving to fix and change something in your life, you are also perfect the way you are now. Remember to stay focused on your basic strengths and use them. If you are a person whose strength is mastering a single task, then become the first chair soloist. And if you are a big picture strategist, become the conductor of the orchestra. Both need each other! Stay focused on who you are and what you can become. Stay away from focusing on what you are not and what you “should” become.

There might be a time when you decide that you need the support and expert guidance of an executive life coach, but there are many times when you can take the task on yourself.  These 7 steps can help you to coach yourself.

To your continued success,

James

 

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And Confusion is a Good Thing because….?

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Have you ever been confused? At a seminar once upon a time, a larger than life character told me that being confused is definitely cause for celebration. The idea being that when someone is confused, that’s the precursor to learning something new.

Simply said, nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we attach to it.  If you can change or start a belief in a heartbeat, how does it work?  The answer is simple: We naturally learn by taking a new experience and linking it up to a previous experience.  The brain cells that fire together, wire together. And they wire together with emotion and feeling.

So, if we want to stop a pattern of unhealthy thinking, putting ourselves in a new highly emotional state of confusion is healthy, IF in those moments we consciously attach a new meaning to an old pattern.

For instance, in 1999 when I went through my coaches training with Mr. Larger than Life, we showed up one morning all expecting to have a day of classroom instruction. Instead we were directed to a van and told we were off to an “experience”!

Thirty minutes later, as we pulled into the skydiving place, people got confused. Thoughts ran through everyone’s mind: This was not the training day we were supposed to have; OMG we have to jump out of a plane?!?; OMG the fear; OMG the panic; OMG the anxiety; OMG the CONFUSION and OMG I AM GOING TO DIE!! People were frantically trying to reason out the situation and decipher what it meant for them because they did not automatically have a past frame of reference to link it to!

While most were in a state of confusion, I was feeling something different! You see, I had a past frame of reference from being in the US Army. I had already experienced their moment of panic, fear and confusion when I went through US Army Airborne School.  And in my moment of panic, fear and confusion jumping out the door at only 1,200 feet, I anchored in the new belief that, if I live through this, I can do anything! And, I had those brain cells fire together and wire together over the next 4 jumps. So, when we had to jump out of the plane in tandem with a 12,000 foot free fall and plenty of time to react to any issues, I was not fearful, but positively excited! I knew, “I could handle anything!”

The great thing was, at the day’s end, everyone wanted to go up again and experience skydiving without a tandem instructor and go solo! And, we had all bonded and participated in a life event that brought us all closer together!

Ultimately, skydiving a second time was not to be. Mr. Larger than Life had something better in store for us. At the end of the next day of training, at about 10pm, instead of going home, we were stretched again.

The instructions were simple: empty all of your pockets and give us everything except your drivers’ license. Take this small bag that contains fifty cents, an emergency number to call, pocket camera for proof, a small pack of almonds as our gift to you. Men have to go alone, women in groups of two and you have 15 hours to get from San Diego to Los Angeles and back again using nothing but your coaching skills and your ability to add value to others. “If you are not back by 5pm Sunday, you fail the course!”

Let me just say, while some were excited, I was not.  This was my moment of  “OMG to LA and back on a Sunday night, alone?, OMG the fear, OMG the panic, OMG the anxiety, OMG the CONFUSION and OMG I AM GOING TO DIE!!

How do you think it ended? That’s a Thought of the Week for another time. Or, do you know the ending already?  Successful people thrive on OMG moments!

What are your OMG moments that have shaped your success…I would LOVE to know them! Comment below!

 

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How to Be a Magician…

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Throughout time there have always been stories of knights, damsels in distress, Kings & Queens, Dragons and Magicians. One of the greatest magicians of lore was Merlin. And for the younger generation, I guess we have to include Dumbledore!

And inevitably, the magician always seems to fade into obscurity as humankind moves from the age of creativity, possibility and imagination to logic, reason and commerce. Did you ever stop to see how the story parallels the human condition?

As a child, anything is possible. Building castles in the sky, creating something from nothing and turning lead into gold. When I started coaching full time in 1999 with Tony Robbins Companies, my wife gave me a small Hallmark ornament of a magician, arms outstretched, in the clouds and a rainbow behind him. I have it on my desk and see it every day to remind me of certain things.

The magician is in all of us, you have talents and skills to create something bigger of yourself and your impact in life.

What is it and how can you reconnect to it? By looking through your experiences of life and seeing what no one else sees! Then asking, “where are my opportunities to create?”

My neighbor is an engineer and he is always looking at things like a simple light switch and is amazed how it works, but more importantly, he naturally sees even deeper than that. He asks, “Who was the person who was able to dream it, create it and make it work?” That is what he naturally wants to know and apply. That is how he creates his own magic.

I see people every day who tell me their problems. As they speak, somehow I am able to see the expressions, gestures, thoughts inside their mind; I can see their goals, challenges, emotions, and more importantly for my clients I can see the patterns of how it all connects. From there, I see the pathway of possibility and infinite potential for them to overcome it all. Somehow, that is how I create magic. And yet, I walk past a light switch every day without naturally noticing the magic there. But when I see it through my neighbor’s eyes, the light switch comes on and I see the magic he creates!

Being a magician and creating magic comes from being curious, learning, growing, and seeing the infinite potentiality in you, others, places and/or things in a way no one else does. It is noticing it in a way that is unique to you! Most of us shut down our internal magician with the thoughts that come right after these magic moments of awareness. Those poor questions come out like, “But how could I do that, what will people think, I don’t have the money, I don’t have the time, I’m not good enough” With those thoughts, your magician slips away and becomes a thing of the past.

Ask yourself this, “Where is the magic in your business, relationships, finances, physical health? What do you see that others don’t?”

Magic comes from knowing yourself and working what you have inside. Increase your awareness of your environment and take notice of what is important to you.

Be the magician, connect with your creativity, imagination and appreciate your special view of the world. Through that gift, work your magic. You will see a path that others don’t, be able to lead them down it, and bring out the infinite potential of yourself and them.

There are still dragons to slay, damsels to rescue, sunsets to ride off into and magic to work! And, if you look in the right place and work your magical gifts, you will find that Merlin is still very much alive.

 

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One Word is All You Need

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I just read a great article in Success Magazine last month which was based on the principle that increasingly our most scarce resource is not our time but our attention.

These days phones, apps, tablets, computers, texts, and emails not only compete for our time, but almost more importantly, they compete for our attention.  It is great to set an appointment reminder on your phone, but when you start getting reminders, texts, and calls while you are working to achieve your goal, these things become distractions.

Clearly, there is no going backward. So, in our technologically advanced world, what is the one word to implement to increase your chance of succeeding?

Immersion. 

Immersion to me, means putting 100% of your focus into your goal.  Immersion means to put all of your Attention, Time, Learning, Action, or Reflection towards the successful completion of a single item that will move you towards your goal.

What are the areas you can Immerse yourself in to achieve your goals?   Here are four general areas for Immersion.

  • Your Mind: Immerse your mind in your goal constantly. Turn off the radio and start to listen audiobooks about information regarding your goal. Change your passwords to reflect your goal, my old one was Run100inApril. I read books and autobiographies of ultramarathon runners, browsed websites, and in every free moment immersed myself in learning and staying motivated about my goal.
  • People: As Tony Robbins says, “you will rise or fall to the level of your peer group.” If you need an upgrade on your friends, find some new ones with whom you share common interests and goals. Find a mentor who has achieved what you want and befriend him or her. The idea is to always play chess with someone better than you!
  • Places: If you are working to become sober, the last place you should hang out on weekends is at the bar! Seems obvious when talking about alcohol, but it’s just as valid with other goals.  Your environment has beliefs and norms associated with it and you will unconsciously conform and become a part of the environment you put yourself in consistently. Change your environment to change yourself. You might also kill two birds with one stone by also finding new people there!
  • Material Items: One of the tenets of Feng Shui, is that every item has an emotional association. That is why that little Teddy Bear you received on Valentine’s might have seemed great, yet once you break up it gets the stuffing ripped out and thrown in the trash! And don’t worry, nature does not like a vacuum, so anything you toss out while “clearing your clutter” will eventually be replaced by something better. Get rid of the junk in your life that no longer serves you; old clothes, pictures, books, anything that does not support your goals!

Giving your goals Consistent Time and Attention by Immersing your mind in learning as well as making sure the people, places and things in your life reflect your goals will greatly increase your chances of succeeding.  It’s hard to fail when you eat, sleep, think, live and breathe your goal!

 

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There is a Miracle Pill after all…

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The next time you are sick and need to go to the doctor, try this miracle pill.  Although it is not yet approved by the FDA and not covered by insurance, it is still an amazing drug.

This miracle drug:

  • Releases endorphins in your body which are natural pain killers, they also boost your bodies’ natural immune system
  • Improves your blood circulation by naturally elevating your heart rate and blood pressure, which in turn, help to stimulate your heart and lungs
  • Improves oxygen flow into the bloodstream causing an natural increase in energy, mental clarity, and focus
  • And while you’re on it, it burns 78 times more calories than when you’re sitting at your normal resting heart rate

So, how much would you pay for an over the counter drug that provides all of that? Well, good news, it is FREE! Yes, FREE!

And NO, I’m not talking about exercise!

You know the old saying, “Laughter is the best medicine?” Literally, it is! The magic pill is laughter.

If you want to break the ice at work, learn a new joke. If you want to bring the family together, watch America’s Funniest Home Videos together. If you need to impress that special someone, nothing makes a date better than sharing a good laugh. If you want to increase the quality of your life, especially in these times, lighten up and laugh more.

Just to illustrate my point, when was the last time you had a really hard belly laugh? Can you even remember? Finding, telling, and mastering the art of telling good, honest, clean jokes can be learned by anyone! You will naturally become the hit of the party, improve your relationships and attract people to you while having FUN doing it!

“By the way, did you see the church bulletin last week? It read, “Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Memorial Church. Come tonight and hear Berth Belch all the way from Africa.”

 ~OR~

“A student was asked if he knew what Roe vs. Wade was all about. He answered that he thought it was the decision George Washington had to make when he decided to cross the Delaware.”

~Jokes taken from “Healing through Humor,” by Charles Francis Hunter

Do you have some favorite jokes you’d like to share?  Post them below, we want to hear them!

Avoid This Networking Blunder: Don’t Ask This Question!

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Have you ever been out networking, meeting and greeting, and towards the end of your conversation with someone, they ask you, “So, how can I help you?”  What’s worse, have you been asking that question to people that you meet?

That is a dangerous question to ask for a couple of reasons.

One, it might be a clue that you may have been making the conversation all about you. The general rule of thumb is that a good networking meeting will consist of discussing yourself thirty percent of the time and engaging the other person to talk seventy percent of the time. If a conversation has been going great and that question pops out, perhaps you have been talking more than listening.

Two, if that’s not the case and they have shared a good bit of information about themselves or their business, it indicates that you either don’t truly understand what problems they face, or you don’t have a clue as to how you can help them.  Either way, it’s not good.

In the first instance, not only can it totally breaks rapport, but it puts the person on the spot and places them in a situation where they’re supposed to figure if and how they fit in your business model, instead of you focusing on the problems they encounter, understanding their needs, and showing them how you might be able to help.

Alternatively, if you do understand the problems they face, but still ask them how you can help them, you run the risk of appearing like you don’t know how to tackle their issues which is not likely to foster trust and ruin your credibility as an expert in your field.

The reality is, if you have been asking questions, getting the other person to speak to you and been engaged, you should be able to get a pretty good idea of their problems and challenges. People more often than not, will tell you at least a couple of areas where they can improve something in their business.  From there, you can pretty easily determine whether or not you can help that person.

If it’s a good fit, fantastic, forge ahead, but if you see that you cannot or do not know how to solve their problems, add value by connecting them with someone who can.  After all, that’s what networking is all about!

Do you have some networking tips?  Share the wealth!  Comment below!

Fail-Proof Your New Year’s Resolution

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What is missing from every New Year’s resolution that fails?

I’ll give you a hint…

It is not immersion. Many people are more than willing to immerse themselves in an endeavor and really embrace it. You have seen the person with the New year’s Resolution that starts going to the gym everyday and working out for hours on end. Immersion is important to success because where your focus goes, your energy flows.

It is not learning. Many people will go out and get every book, audio cd, and podcast they can on a subject in order to learn everything they can about their new goal. Continuing to learn is also a critical component for success in achieving any goal.

It is not a positive and supportive peer group. Finding a mastermind group, set of peers, or meetup group that will support you in the high of highs and the low of lows is important, but it is not the key for total success.

So, what is it? 

It is long term commitment! When it comes to building success, wealth, and a better life for yourself and those you love there IS NO QUICK FIX!  So many people think the road to success is paved with if I just jump out of the gate and give it all NOW, I can have it all NOW! Then, when it doesn’t happen, they get frustrated and give up!

If you ask anyone who is successful in any sport, most say that they just stayed longer on the field practicing everyday than others did, day after day after day. It was a pattern they reproduced week after week, month after month, and year after year.

The reason that most people fail in their New Year’s Resolutions is simply a lack of long term commitment.  So, what are you willing to commit to every single day in 2012?  Most people overestimate what they can do in the short term and underestimate what they can do in the long term.

Lead for the Long Term, Act for the Long Term and Stay Committed to your goal for the Long Term, and you will be in a better place by the end of 2012!

What do YOU think is the essential ingredient to achieve your New Year’s Resolution?  Comment below and let me know your thoughts!

Are You Making This Sales and Marketing Mistake?

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Ask any small business owner what they would most like to have in their business and they more than likely will respond with, “more business!”

We all want clients calling and walking in the door with orders in hand. That’s why we engage in the game of sales and marketing.

So, the question is:  Are your sales and marketing efforts working? Have you dumped thousands into a website, social media, and print advertising over the years with little return on investment? If so, what caused the sales and marketing failure?

You might be focusing too much effort on sales and marketing and too little on prospecting. Prospecting has to come before sales and marketing. It is a small distinction that will make your company money.

Here are some examples of marketing versus prospecting.

Using Neuro Linguistic Programing NLP in your sales communication makes a difference!Some activities that define marketing in your business might be sending out email offers, writing e-books, posting on social media sites, writing a newsletter, creating video or audio podcasts, attending networking events, reviewing and updating your website, distributing fliers, handing out business cards or other print advertising and doing some public speaking.

Prospecting by comparison is about making a personal contact with someone. Cold calling, email solicitating with a follow up phone call the next day, following warm leads from client referrals, calling previous clients asking for referrals, and stopping by businesses in person to solicit  business.

Prospecting is being face to face (or phone to phone) with someone to see if they are a good prospect to start and market/sell.

Prospecting needs to come first because having qualified prospects will allow you to get the most out of your sales and marketing budget. 

You can work all day on creating a kick ass website, writing phenomenal content, and having an online presence, but at the end of the day if the phone doesn’t ring with a sale, there is no new business.

That small distinction between marketing and prospecting may seem trivial but it’s not.  Often success comes from a small distinction that creates a massive shift in results.

Making sure that prospecting is part of your daily routine will shift your sales and marketing’s effectiveness. It is the critical step to getting every small business where it wants to be:  having clients and customers walking in the door with orders in hand.