Have you forgotten…Yourself?

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I was focused, motivated and determined last weekend to achieve three major outcomes: finish my 2008 taxes, plant my new tree, and put up the basketball hoop for my son. I worked late into the evening on Friday night to complete the taxes, I was up early Saturday morning planting my new tree and Saturday evening I assembled the basketball hoop. Sunday morning found me grocery shopping and by 2:00 that afternoon I was wiped out, standing in the kitchen wondering what to do next.

When I was single, the first thing I would do every night when I got home was to put on some music. I did not have a TV or girlfriend at the time and jazz music was my best friend. We would have long conversations as I made dinner, returned emails and did laundry. I could never understand how I could live without it because when my condo was quiet, it was a weird feeling.

Now, with 2 kids, basketball, swimming, tennis, choir and gymnastic practices, dinner, bedtime, relationship time and work; free time is few and far between. Life just seems to continue to go faster and faster the older I get. I am not filling the quiet time with music since it is automatically filled with the sounds of a full life. But the quiet time still manages to get blocked out.

But there I was, standing in a moment of perfect silence, and thinking, “What’s next? I don’t know what to do. I’m confused.” The silence had found me again.

Are you comfortable being alone with yourself in a moment of silence? If you had 30 minutes on a Friday or Saturday evening to turn off the lights, sit on the couch and “be” alone, would you be able to do it? (No reading, TV, falling asleep, or other activity allowed!)

In quiet time, we become open to ourselves and what is truly important to us. We can let go of the errands, people, situations, and work we “must, need, and should” be doing. In the silence, we can reconnect with ourselves, find peace in the moment, and in that moment become open to what is truly important to us in our lives.

Take some time each day to stop, close your eyes, and be comfortable in the silence of your own self. Take the problems of your life there and ask for an answer to come to you. The more comfortable you become with yourself in your own silence, the more comfortable you will be running your life. Silence can be your greatest friend and the sweetest music to listen to.

I wish you many peaceful moments this week. Run your life instead of having your life run you. Enjoy those sweet moments of silence.

Be sure to check out my website, www.evolutionforsuccess.com, with details for an exciting new 2-Hour Parenting Teleconference which will be recorded on 2-CD’s in the month of April.

By the way, if you know anyone who needs support hiring the right person for the job, have them check out the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment at www.surehirenow.com
You can receive a $25 Gift Card to any store of your choice as a “Thank You” for your referral.

Please pass this on to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought” this week. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.

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What did you see?

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What did you see?

Isn’t it interesting how two people can share a life event together and come away with two different experiences?

In the last few months, Emmanuelle and I have been touring our local charter and public schools in preparation for Isabelle’s entry in Kindergarten. As we were touring one of the public school playgrounds, we saw about a half dozen trailers in back of the school. As we passed, Emmanuelle and I looked at them and thought, “It must be horrible to have a trailer for your 4th and 5th grade classroom? It would be cramped, isolated from the school and hot in the summer months.”

As if she had been listening and reading the parents minds, the school guide informed us that the upper level classes loved the trailers. They saw them as a rite of passage growing up from the younger kids and took a lot of pride in them. As if on cue, kids poured out of the trailers to change classes. They were laughing, joking, and having fun. Their attitudes reflected exactly what the guide had just stated!

This week, Isabelle hit another milestone. She discovered that she could be dropped off at the front door of her kindergarten school, “like a big girl” so that Emmanuelle and I would not have to walk her in. As she stood proud in her newfound independence, it was all that I could do to keep a smile on my face and be happy for her. She is our last child and I love every last walk into school with her. I was already missing that big, goodbye hug at her classroom door.

One of the greatest gifts we have in life is to choose what meaning to attach to the events that shape our lives. How you choose to label an experience and the meaning you attach to it will directly impact the quality of your emotional health and life.

The way to work through any disempowering emotional state is to ultimately put an empowering meaning towards it. This is a very common pattern in movies. The hero/heroine’s mentor or right hand man dies and as they speak their last words they utter, “Be true to yourself, fight for what is right, and help those less fortunate than you.” or, “don’t let me die for nothing, catch that bad guy.” In that emotional moment, the hero has a choice to attach an empowering meaning to the event, it motivates the main character to overcome life’s problem, and achieve more greatness than they ever thought was possible.

How can you turn loss into gain, pain into pleasure? Put an empowering meaning to it! I love to see Isabelle’s independence as she grows up because in 10 years when the boys start calling, that independence will be a very important trait for me to rely on. The confidence and pride that students feel by “moving up” and earning the right to have a “higher” social status will serve them well as they make the transitions to Middle School, High School and College. That is how confidence and self worth are born, bred and raised. I hope you continue to see things differently this week and find more empowering meanings for your life experiences.

MARCH Special: By the way, if you know anyone who needs support hiring the right person for the job. Have them check out the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment at www.surehirenow.com
They can enjoy $50 off the regular price of $399 and you can receive a $25 Gift Card to any store of your choice as a “Thank You” for your referral.

Be sure to check out my website: www.evolutionforsuccess.com soon for an exciting new 2-CD release on Parenting, due out April 2009.

Please pass this on to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought” this week. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.

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"Two Roads Converged…"

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“Two Roads Converged…”

Last week, I had the distinct pleasure of taking Isabelle to school. As we came up to the stoplight leading out of our neighborhood, the line was very long and I guessed that it would take about 3 light changes before we would be able to turn left onto the main street. We were looking at a ten minute wait in line which meant she would be late for school.

Instinct took over and I quickly merged into the right hand lane. I drove past the long line of cars straight up to the light. At this point, the only way for us to go was the “wrong” way. We had to turn right instead of left, which took us farther away from her school. Isabelle immediately realized we were going the wrong direction and asked, “Daddy, why are we were going the “wrong” way?”

I turned right, drove 100 yards and turned around in a different neighborhood entrance. Almost immediately, I was able to make the left hand turn onto the main street going towards Isabelle’s school. As I drove, I explained to Isabelle that I was taking a “secret short cut” to school and even though it seemed like the “wrong” way, sometimes going the opposite way of everyone else was quicker. We would have to experiment and see if it was true. In this case, it was true, much to her delight. She even waved at the line of cars as we passed them, who were still waiting for the light to turn green.

A similar experience occurred at the Atlanta airport last Friday. I was waiting for my return flight and needed to stretch my legs one last time before boarding time. As I walked farther and farther down the terminal wing away from the main hub, I noticed that not only did the people traffic lighten up but the drink prices for Coke and water dropped with every store. It was also amazing that the Coke prices were lower than the water prices. Isn’t it ironic how what is better for you is sometimes more expensive and what seems easier, less expensive and more convenient is sometimes not as good for you?

In today’s world, with the media news, business forecasts, stock market news, and radio ads, you may need to get away from the mainstream, take a walk away from the mainstream to where it is not as crowded. It is good to notice where opportunity lies and more often than not, it will be away from popular idealism. Making a little bit better investment on what you are feeding your mind, body and spirit can make a big difference in your health. It can also provide you the edge that will make a small difference in your life today and a very BIG difference in your life in the long run. Make the investment in yourself that will yield results for you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If you take the initiative to walk a little farther away from the crowds you may be surprised at the deals you will find.

This morning Isabelle asked me if we were taking the “secret short cut” to school. It took me a moment to understand that she had changed her association from us going to school the “wrong” way to the “secret short cut” way. Separate yourself from the rest of the people who are waiting in line for something different to happen. That is the secret to getting ahead. All of the answers you need to overcome any challenge in your life right now are out there waiting for you. Be courageous, brave and try going the “wrong” way once in a while. We will see you at the “secret short cut” turnaround and we’ll be sure and wave “Hi!”

If you know someone who needs an encouraging “Thought” this week. Please feel free to forward this email. You can sign up for the weekly, “Thought” at www.evolutionforsuccess.com We value your privacy and keep our email database private and confidential. Thank you for reading!

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Breaking the Rules!

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Breaking the Rules

In today’s hectic world there is no shortage of emotional intensity. There is plenty of stress, frustration, depression, anxiety, and unhappiness. Fear seems to have begun to take hold caused in party by the recent fluctuations in the housing and stock markets. If you have any doubts these disempowering emotional states are present, just ask any customer service representative, listen to the news, or just drive home in rush hour traffic in the left hand lane.

Most people who come to coaching are looking for the greater empowering emotional intensity that is sometimes hard to find in our everyday life: peace, success, achievement, happiness, and love. Many find their lives have become flat, lonely, without purpose.

Having a purpose in life is an interesting ideology that many people spend their entire life pursuing. But often by living life everyday, we build our habits which develop our limitations and beliefs about what we can and can not do, without consciously thinking about it. Many of you reading this now may be saying to yourself, “I don’t have time for meditating on my purpose in life; with three kids, a full time job, a spouse that works, and a household to keep in order, who has time for purpose?”

Well, I propose we break out of that cycle. We’re going to do this in two parts: The first part is as follows – this week I would love for you to repeatedly ask yourself this question. Here is it:

“When you were younger, what was so fun, exciting, and adventurous that you were willing to break Mom and Dad’s rules, even at the risk of being punished?” When you were a kid, what did you get in trouble for wanting to become? What did you get in trouble for doing? What did you dream about and never tell anyone? What would you have done that was worth the spanking, grounding, or loss of car privileges you would have received?

OK, so that was more than one question… What came into your mind as you were asking yourself those questions?

One of the problems with living life as an adult is that many times we have become the parent of ourselves. Oh, NO. When was the last time you were willing to go out and do something so unexpected and crazy that even if you got in trouble with your “parental” self the experience would be worth it? What do you want to sneak out of your bedroom window at night to do that would be worth the risk of getting caught when you got home?

Now here’s the second part – pick one of them and go do it now. Add some joy, enthusiasm, adventure, fun, and playfulness to your life. It will make the routines of life, kids, career, and finances easier to manage when you wake up Monday morning. You will smile, feeling great inside, knowing that it was totally worth it. Live life to its fullest, dream big dreams, break your own rules for yourself and do what is worth getting in “trouble” for!

Keep in mind, however, this statement has a very important caveat: Only break the rules doing something that is truly good for you, those closest to you, your community and the world as a whole. Clearly I am not advocating the type of activities that would cause irreparable harm to your finances, your relationships or your standing in the community – and definitely nothing that lands you in jail! But lead life joyously and a little outside your self-defined lines – allow yourself to play music full blast in the shower as you sing along at the top of your lungs, eat that occasional ice cream cone licking your fingers as it melts, take the kids out in the middle of the rain storm to stomp in puddles… Whatever brings that child-like happiness and joy back into your life!

Really, it’s ok…. I give you permission! It’s time you did too!

We are two thirds of the way through this year. If you need help finding something to do in order to “break the rules that your parental self” has developed, CALL NOW! You need some support!

(303) 681-3555

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Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in “Y”

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Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in “Y”

It is always interesting to go back to small town Iowa after having lived in San Diego, Denver, and Phoenix for so many years. I recently found myself back in Iowa visiting relatives and found these thoughts waiting for me.

As I was out running on a Sunday morning, I passed the local car wash which was sporting the sign, “New Change Machine, Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in “Y”. I reread the sign then mentally reviewed the 7 days of the week in my mind; Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Wouldn’t you know, all of them end in “Y” – no extra coins for me! I mentally pictured an old farmer, rocking on his front porch, laughing and saying “Made you look!”

As I smiled to myself, I couldn’t help but think…”They got me – who doesn’t want the opportunity to get more for nothing?” As I continued to run, I examined my initial reaction to the sign – We all want something for nothing; the promise of a bigger return for less effort. We want huge results for minimal input into an endeavor.

I love word play and metaphors, and the more I thought about it, the less “Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in “Y” worked for me. So, I found a way to learn something from that sign – I changed it to “Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in WHY“. Why? I am glad that you asked. (I told you I loved word-play!)

The brain is hard-wired to find an answer (consciously or unconsciously) for every question we ask it. Many times in life when things don’t go our way we mentally ask the question “Why…?” This can be a pitfall in our thinking – Why questions do not serve us. “Why…” questions lead us into developing explanations, justifications and formation of belief patterns that are usually not empowering. Most of the time “Why…” questions lead us to thoughts that do not help us achieve or take action. Here are some examples of these negative questions….
• Why can’t I do this?
• Why couldn’t I remember that?
• Why does this always happen to me?
• Why do people always do this?
• Why can’t they just…? Why not?

So, I propose you can get “Double Your Coins Back on the Days Not Ending in “Why” by replacing those “Why…” questions with “How…” questions. “How…” questions lead to possibility. They trigger the mind to pull up past references to support where you are now and where you want to be in the future. Some examples of these positive questions are:
• How can I continue to feel prosperous today?
• How can I see the bright side of this problem?
• How can I feel better about myself and what I want to do today?
• How can these problems be resolved today in my favor?
• How is everyone I meet today going to support me in moving towards my goals?
• How can I find the answer to the problem?

“Why…” questions never serve us because they lead to the development of limiting beliefs and poor thought patterns, whereas “How…” questions allow us to take our personal power back and find solutions. Ask better questions of your brain and your brain will give you better answers. Have fun this week asking more “How…” questions to unleash your genius and uncover your potential!

If you are looking at the world through “why” colored glasses and need a change, CALL NOW! During the month of August, all new coaching clients will receive 10% off of each coaching session or the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment thru August 31, 2008. We also have a great referral system, so tell your friends and business colleagues who need to get that “edge” to call now!

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Zipping Along…

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Zipping along in Life…

This weekend was a wonderful life experience. We went Treetop Soaring up near Durango, CO. Soaring, also called Zip Lining, is a wonderful experience. You get hooked up in a climbing harness, clipped onto a long stainless steel cable, and then slide from one tree to another. The height above and distance between the trees, and the speeds that you reach varies throughout the course.

At about the third tree, the Soaring guide clipped me in and asked me, “Is this exciting and intense, or what?” I was shocked by me response, “It is nice and wonderful to be here with my family, but I have done a lot of things in my life like this and it is not adrenaline pumping or anything. After all, I have gone skydiving, been through the US Army Airborne School, rappelled out of helicopters in the Air Assault School, gone rock climbing, jumped off of a telephone pole and done a 50 foot Fire walk with Tony Robbins.” The guy just kind of looked at me with a blank look on his face and said, “Oh.”

As I zipped from one tree to the next, for some reason my response bothered me. I work very hard to not live my life on past experiences, yet here I was handing out my resume of “To-Do’s” in my life. It was not from a significance standpoint either. Up to that point, I truly did not think it was that emotionally intense of an experience.

I started to look at what was behind my list of adrenaline filled activities response. Then it hit me. There was still a little part of me that thought, “It has to be big and intense if it is going to mean something all.” And, I thought that I had gotten rid of that one. Darn!

Most people in life want that Lotto win experience. That one BIG thing that will change life forever, make us more, lead to a tremendous breakthrough in life. However, most people never win the lottery, waiting for that is poor psychology. The way to true emotional wealth is to accumulate riches in the manner of investing your 10% every paycheck. People who invest 10% over the life of their working careers often are farther ahead at retirement than people who wait for “the Big One” to come in and then invest it in one lump sum. The majority of people who play the lottery never win.

Wouldn’t it be a much more fulfilling life if we celebrated at every paycheck? Over the course of 45 years if you celebrated your wealth at every paycheck, (assuming 26 paychecks per year) that would mean that you would get to celebrate 1,170 times versus that one lottery win. Which one leads to greater overall emotional health and success?

So, from then on, I reframed and experienced every single zip line one at a time, appreciated the uniqueness of each one, sharing each one with my wife and son, and the people that I was participating with. Life does not have to be big and grand to be meaningful. That was a lesson that eluded me in my younger years. Now, I just appreciate both experiences. When you add celebrating life daily over and over and combine it with the lottery experiences of life the world takes on an even brighter look.

By the way, I did experience Murphy’s Law and ate my words on the next zip line section. It was on one of the smallest segments of the zip line course called Aspen alley that I got the adrenaline rush that was my lottery win. Ironically, it was not on the 1,400 foot zip line that was the grand finale of the day. I love the irony of life.

There is so much to celebrate in your life today! Even with the down market, financial woes, physical aches and pains, so much of life is still a blessing and gift. I challenge you to find those gems in your life today, collect and polish them, and share them with others. It may not seem like much today but over time their meaning and intensity will grow exponentially and you will have led a rich life. Celebrate the special moments of today because today is the day you won the lottery.

To your continued success,

James

Please pass this message on to anyone who may need to find a little something to celebrate in their life today. If you are having trouble celebrating, Call Now

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Is Life a Bumpy Ride?

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by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis

You know the truth of where you are now, you have defined your purpose in life, so what is next? The process to setting goals is simple, easy and effective. The process needs to happen at least six times. Why are we setting goals? We set goals to have a balanced life. You are the one who gets to define what Balance is for you. Balance in life consists of putting focus into 6 main categories.

The six categories that define a balanced life are: Health, Relationships, Career, Finances, Religion/Faith/Spirituality, and Personal Emotional Health. A person may expand or consolidate a few categories. I personally have two Career categories and have combined my Religion/Faith/Spirituality and Personal Emotional Health categories into one single category.

Here is a great coaching exercise to give you some perspective. Draw a circle and divide it into 6 areas (like cutting a pie or pizza). The center of the circle represents a level zero and the outside circumference of the circle represents a level ten. Rate each area on a scale of zero to ten (zero is not fulfilled at all, ten is it can’t get any better). Take the number and fill in the piece of pie from the inside towards the outside to whatever level of fulfillment that you rated yourself. For example, if you are at zero you would not fill in anything, at a level 10 you would fill in the whole piece of pie, at a level 5 you would come out halfway, draw a line and fill in the piece of pie half way out from the center to the outside). Complete the process for all six categories.

Now, if this was a wheel on your car of life would you have a smooth ride or would it be bumpy as could be? Life should be in balance. It does not matter is you are balanced at a three, five, eight or ten. If you are at a ten in career and a zero in health there is a great coaching opportunity. We are only as strong as our weakest category. However, that does not mean that we have to have every piece of the pie be equal in size. Remember that every time you cut a pizza you will never be able to cut all of the pieces exactly the same size. For some, Career is a greater piece, others Health and others Relationships. The key is that they are all present and combine in a way to make a full balanced life.

Our goals should collectively bring balance to all areas of our lives to reduce conflict, increase motivation and give us more energy to create more in life and enjoy where we are at the same time.

Are you driving down the highway with a really bouncy ride? Give me a call at (480) 820-4072 take your life to the next level of success.

To our continued success,

James

A Statement of Purpose

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by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis

The first step towards success is defining the “truth” of where you are in your life. The second step for success is to define what your life represents. A person needs to define the purpose of their life in order to stay motivated and overcome the obstacles in life.

A purpose statement in life is built of three main components: the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. An example would be, “The purpose of my life is to nurture myself and grow and create positive change in the world.”

The first component is the opening phrase of the statement, “The purpose of my life is to continue to…” The language is important because it needs to imply, or presuppose, that we already have an internal frame of reference for what knowing our purpose. You have an unconscious frame of reference somewhere in your mind that defines what your life purpose is and we want to tap into it. After all, after all, how would you know you want it if you have never had it before? Another example of an opening statement would be, “The purpose of my life is to experience more…” Accessing or creating the previous frame of reference in our subconscious mind is important.

The second component is all about YOU, it MUST be about you. A person who turns the other cheek without a strong internal compass is a coward. Someone who turns the other cheek and stands firm in the knowledge of who they are and what their life is about is courageous, strong, confident and someone people respect and follow. Your actions must always mean something to you and meet your internal needs. So, what is your core issue? What is the greatest thing that you have ever had to overcome in your life? I was three pounds when I was born, the doctor thought that I would not live, didn’t come home from the hospital for 3 months, and never felt like I bonded with my mother. As I moved through my healing process, I realized that it was unfair of me as a grown adult to keep looking to my mother be nurtured. Further more, it was really a disservice to myself and to my mother to keep using that experience as an excuse to not have the levels of success that I wanted in my life. I needed to take responsibility myself to “nurture myself and grow”.

The third component is all about how I make a difference in the world when I do “nurture myself and grow.” How do I show up and make a difference when I can confidently turn the other cheek. Life is really not about us and the greatest people in the world know this. You see it in the faces of the people who change the world, Pope John Paul II, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela. When I am learning, growing and nurturing myself I am able to give to others at a capacity that is never ending. I verbalize the impact on the world when I live this way as, “creating positive change in the world.” At one time it was “blanket the world with my love.” However, I found a more specific and meaningful way to express what I am truly about.

There are the three components of a great Purpose Statement the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. The reason for covering this material is that our goals and dreams need to be congruent with our Purpose Statement. If a person sets goals that are not congruent with their purpose the levels of motivation that they experience are seriously diminished.

Purpose statements may also change as we change. My new purpose statement is, “The purpose of my life is have an even more balanced, health, and fit life today in order to apply my knowledge and help others create more empowering lives.”

If you want to support in defining your Purpose Statement give me a call at (480) 820-4072 and find out how to take your life to the next level of success.

To our continued success,

James

Get Real…Fast!

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The first part of any change is to “Get Real.”

You have heard this saying before but why is it so important? It is hard to look in a mirror and take a good hard look at ourselves.

How many of you have full length mirrors in your bathroom and you walk by them everyday without stopping and really taking a look at yourself?

“Get Real” means that you stop and take a good hard look at where you are, NOW! Step on the scale and see exactly what it reads. This is a painful but necessary part of any change. It is also the first step of taking control of your life.

It is far easier to ignore the mirror and start to compare ourselves to others who are worse off than we are. You have hear it before, “Well, I’m not as big as so and so.” Or, “At least I am in a size 36 pants instead of a 40.” Statements such as these minimize/generalize where we are and in doing so we lose the emotional edge (usually frustration, anger, etc) that will allow us to move and create change. Nobody changes without a healthy level of frustration!

During my infantry training we learned land navigation. The first step in the process was to look at the map and figure out the 8 digit grid coordinate on the map for where we were, right then. It was the first step before we went anywhere. Without taking a good hard look at where we were starting from, we could not figure out any of the other calculations necessary to make it through to the other points along the route. If you were off in your initial calculation of where you started from you were lost before you ever began.

The first part of any change is to “Get Real” with where you are. You are not “a little heavy”; you don’t need to “lose a few.” The scale reads in at 240, you are 50 pounds overweight and you have a big fat butt. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can change!

Pick an area of your life that you want to change and “Get Real.” Now!

Stop comparing yourself to others and retelling those same old stories, everyone is getting tired of hearing them anyway! Define with specificity where you are today so that you can succeed in the future. If you feel that healthy level of frustration at where you are, you are on the path to success.

Stay tuned for the next step tomorrow!

To our continued success,

James

The Power of Choice

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by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis

Success is dependent on one thing, choice. In the last movie of the Matrix trilogy, Neo and Mr. Smith are fighting. During the fight, Mr. Smith asks Neo, “Why are you still fighting? You know that you are going to lose. Don’t tell me it is for love, happiness, or other people. Why don’t you just give up? Why are you still fighting?” Neo’s answer is deep in its simplicity. He says, “Because I choose too.”

All personal growth, self help, changing your emotional states and your thinking come down to one thing; a person has to CHOOSE to take a different action if they want something different. And, it will be continuous, tough, and challenging. A person needs to be resilient, patient, and kind to themselves as they move through the process of change.

During my NLP training, the instructor said one thing that has really stuck with me. He said that when it comes to your clients, you do not want clients. You want successful clients. What determines a successful client? A successful client is someone who wants to change. It is true that you can not hypnotize someone into doing something that they are not willing to do. A successful client will put in the constant hard work and dedication to get back up every time they fall.

During my last Tony Robbins event, Date with Destiny, I found myself absolutely frustrated because I wanted to fix myself and be done with it. I wanted to finally let go of the responsibility to choose to change. After all, I had spent the last 5 years working on myself. I graduated college after flunking out, lost 60 pounds, found a great career path as a US Marshal after waiting a year and a half to get through the hiring process, and was dating a great gal. Why wasn’t I happy inside? I just wanted to get it over with and be done with it. So, I asked the personal trainer, “ I have been working in this self help (*&^^#@$@ for the last 5 years and you are telling me that I am going to have to do this every day for the rest of my life? She replied simply, “Yes!” I am not proud of my response. I flipper her the bird and said, “Well, I am good enough how I am right now.”

I have found that success is holding both paradigms in my mind at the same time. Finding balance, success, and worth in myself and my life now while at the same time respecting my need and desire to always be more. That is one of the greatest human paradoxes. How many people do you know that are only one or the other? They either focus on always being and having more to the detriment of having peace and happiness in their life today or else they are so intent on just being good now and living in the now that they lack any direction or future that will help them to become more?

Choice is the key to success. You always have a choice of what to think, believe, feel, experience and create for yourself. The power to choose a different action today will give you the future that you desire. Be thankful for all that you have today and respect your need to always be and do more. Take the responsibility to create the life of your dreams today and everyday for the rest of your life. It is the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have!

What do you want different in your life? What are you going to CHOOSE to do in order to have a different experience? Choose to call today and start a new life!

To our continued success,

James

Top Ten Empowering Emotional States

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by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis

Motion creates emotion and mastering our emotional states is the key to success in life. Emotions are like sound waves. Each carries its own vibration level. You have experienced this at sometime in your life. For example, what is the energy level of a funeral home versus the energy level in a Superbowl or Final Four basketball game?

The vibration level of an emotion has similar characteristics found in atoms. In an atom there is a nucleus that consists of protons and neutrons. Electrons rotate in orbit around the nucleus at varying distances. The greater the energy level of the atom the farther away from the nucleus the electrons are able to orbit. Similarly, there are more electrons in orbit for higher energy atoms. This creates a greater energy field around the nucleus. This relationship is directly related to the Law of Attraction. The greater our emotional states the greater our sphere of attraction and the more a person will create or manifest. The more negative the thoughts, actions, and energy levels; the less of a sphere of attraction a person will have. If the negative emotions are strong enough the reverse process happens. A person will tend to repel what they most want and get what they “don’t want.” Our thoughts and emotions are like a magnet. At any moment we are either attract to us more of what we want or repelling what we want and attracting what we do not want. What are the primary emotions that will allow us to have the greatest levels of energy, ability to attract what we want and most successful life?

The Top Nine Empowering Emotions Ranked According to Energy Levels (Power VS Force by David Hawkins)
1. Enlightenment ~ Ineffable
2. Peace ~ Bliss
3. Joy ~ Serenity
4. Love ~ Reverence
5. Reason ~ Understanding
6. Acceptance ~ Forgiveness
7. Willingness ~ Optimism
8. Neutrality ~ Trust
9. Courage ~ Affirmation

The Top Ten Empowering Emotions for a Successful Life
1. Love
2. Gratitude/Appreciation
3. Curiosity
4. Excitement and Passion
5. Determination
6. Flexibility
7. Confidence
8. Cheerfulness
9. Health
10. Contribution/Giving

If you are experiencing any of the Top Ten Disempowering Emotions listed in my previous blog there are two solutions to get to one of the more empowering emotional states listed above.

1. Change your perception. Attach a different meaning to the situation that created or triggered the negative emotional state. In NLP, we ask the question, “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly? This will lead to you develop new internal beliefs, value systems and rules for the future.
2. Change your procedure. This is an external approach to take a different action in the future. Stop putting yourself in the situation where the disempowering emotional state is triggered. A person creates a change in their environment to produce a new or different emotional state.

The most important rule of all when it comes to experiencing different emotional states in our life is that you must give first before you receive. If you want more love in your life you need to practice giving love first. It is the choice to put yourself in motion and attaching a positive meaning to the action that creates the emotional state that you most desire. Sitting on the front porch swing waiting to get some energy to go exercise and walk will never produce greater health and vitality. You need to choose to get up and go walk and find a way to mentally focus on it being a good thing to create the new levels of health and vitality that you are looking for.

Most individuals tend to feel a core group of 10-12 emotions and do not deviate from them except on a rare occasion, like vacation. To experience more of life and change the emotional states you feel consistently takes work and practice. The hard work and dedication will pay off in the end with a better quality of life and you will attract more of what you desire.

Call or email for more information on how you can continue to control your emotional life instead of it controlling you.

To our continued success,

James

Peak Performance Coaching: the proof is in the psychotherapy pudding

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by James Murphy

There are many parallels between coaching and psychotherapy in “how” the behavioral modification system is set up to support a client. An study conducted by the Group Health Cooperative Center for Health Studies, public release date: 22-Mar-2007, concluded that clients diagnosed with depression, who also received an antidepressant drug treatment and phone-based therapy as treatment, made an improvement in their life. The results were very positive.

As outlined in the blog entry of March 21, 2007 “What is Coaching?” metaphorically, the coaching process is like a number line from zer0 to ten. Zero is where you are now and ten is where you want to go. Psychotherapy has the inverse model that goes from zero to negative ten. It focuses on where you are now at zero and where are the issues in your past that are holding you back, negative ten. From there, the model and system for treatment is almost identical, minus the drug treatment. They define where the client wants to be, what is preventing them from achieving it, and look to use tools to create anew system of thinking that will support the greatest amount of change and wholeness for the client. Note the studies results below.

“With close to 400 patients, this is the largest study yet of psychotherapy delivered over the telephone,” said Evette J. Ludman, PhD, senior research associate, Group Health Center for Health Studies, the paper’s lead author. “It’s also the first to study the effectiveness of combining phone-based therapy with antidepressant drug treatment as provided in everyday medical practice.”

Long-term positive effects of initially adding phone-based therapy included improvements in patients’ symptoms of depression and satisfaction with their care, said Ludman. At 18 months, 77 percent of those who got phone-based therapy (but only 63 percent of those receiving regular care) reported their depression was “much” or “very much” improved. Those who received phone-based therapy were slightly better at taking their antidepressant medication as recommended, but that did not account for most of their improvement. And effects were stronger for patients with moderate to severe depression than for those with mild depression.

“We were surprised at how well the positive effects were maintained over time,” said Ludman. “As with weight control, maintaining improvement is the hardest part of treating depression.”

You can read the rest of the article by clicking here: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2007-03/ghcc-pte031907.php

With almost 8 years of coaching and over 16,000 telephone coaching sessions, telephone coaching works to support personal change. The process is greatly accelerated by hiring a coaching with skills and training in Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP. NLP is a model of excellence that identifies “how” someone creates their outcomes. Then, easy and effective strategies are used clear up those issues from a clients past (zero to negative ten) and provide the client with instant change. A person can easily and effortlessly let go of unresolved emotional experiences from the past, change limiting beliefs and value systems and move forward with a telephone based coaching system to establish more empowering behaviors, actions and results. NLP processes combined with telephone coaching create results in a persons life. Your success is unlimited.

Many long term clients create a journal that is priceless in its content. It is a masterpiece built on their coaching experience. It contains the psychology of achievement, behavioral modification techniques, goals, challenges, accomplishments and results that are an irreplaceable reference tool.

If a telephone based therapy system achieves results in psychotherapy then the same system in coaching must achieve results also. The proof is in the NLP/Coaching pudding. Contact www.evolutionforsuccess.com if you want more results Now!