Valentine’s Day Coaching Tip…

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Want to get more Love & Connection this Valentine’s Day? Here are 5 Ways that people “LOVE” to be Loved. (and a few other goodies along the way)

Gary Chapman wrote a great book many years ago called “The 5 Love Languages.” His theory is that people can experience love in 5 general ways. Everyone has a natural priority for the 5 ways. The challenge we face is that we tend to love people in our preferred ways instead of theirs. So, as we go through the 5 ways, ask yourself first, “What are the ways I love to be loved?” Then ask, “How does my significant other love to be loved?”

1. TIME: Time people just love to be in the same room, house or shared space. They just like hanging out around you and spending time together.

2. TOUCH: Any touch will do; a hug, kiss, (or more), anything that is skin to skin. They just need and love your touch.

3. TELL: Any written or verbal affirmation of your undying devotion is always loved. Even text, email, telegram, anything that is auditory or writing will light their fire!

4. Buying THINGS: Material gifts and possessions are the way to go. Doesn’t have to be the diamond tennis bracelet. It could just be that special something for a dollar. Buying them gifts are great!

5. Doing THINGS: Any act of service will do for these people. Clean the house, take out the trash, clean up that honey do list, fill the car with gas, or just be their love servant for the day and ‘Do’ for them!

One last suggestion…make sure there is a personal touch to anything and everything that you do for your loved one this Valentine’s Day. More than anything, they want to know that you took the time to cherish them, show they are special to you. As long as it comes from you and your heart…Rock their world with it!

Last, a Coaching Challenge…remember that Valentine’s Day can come more than once a year when Hallmark says that it’s expected. Guys, stock up on some cards and drop one in her car in July when she is taking the kids to the pool. I always cruise the 50% OFF shelves and stock up for a few times during the next year to have my own Valentine’s Day! To heck with Hallmark, I march to the beat of my own drum!

To your continued success,

James

Happiness: 3 Simple Steps

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3 Secrets to Happiness

Do you remember that great book you once read? It seemed kind of long when you picked it up but as you read the first page there was anticipation, excitement, and desire to find out what was going to happen?

And like most books, it started slow as the characters developed. But, the plot thickened and it got more and more exciting and it started to go by faster and faster. Until finally, the ending was in sight and you couldn’t put it down, time stood still and you voraciously relished every last word to the very end.

Life is like a good book for the “Happy Person.”

There are three steps to achieve happiness.

1. A Happy Person has a long term vision, mission, or purpose for life that is achievable. In essence, they begin with the end in mind. Knowing what your purpose is and where you are going in life has many benefits.  First, it allows a person to relax and not get stressed because they “aren’t where they are supposed to be yet.” Mission and purpose allow positive emotional states like peace and relaxation to be present when a person focuses on their long term purpose. Second, in the face of obstacles, they have all the time in the world to find solutions because they have confidence, knowing they are on the right path and doing the right things.

2. While keeping their purpose in mind, A Happy Person chunks down their goals into small measureable actions that are easily attainable. At first, learning to tie your shoes is a laborious process. You have to bend down, get the laces, work through each single step to get the knot right. A happy person can focus on one small step at a time because they are very present in the moment. They are “Happily learning” each small step of the process because they know it is their mission and purpose to learn to tie their shoes. There is anticipation, curiosity, and excitement in discovering the joys of working towards their goals.

3. Chunking down goals into small attainable moments, a Happy Person can anchor in positive and inspiring thoughts, feelings and emotions to “living and learning.” Each and every moment becomes a joy. Just like at the end of the book. Momentum grows exponentially as happy people experience success in every moment of the day. Smiles and happiness are infectious and move the world.

BONUS STEP: More Happiness Now!

Go for a walk and ask yourself these questions 3-5 minutes a piece in this order. This exercise should take about 3-15 minutes. Let you mind answer the question each time before asking the question again.

1. When have I been Happy in the past? (3-5 min)

2. How do I know I am feeling Happy now? (3-5 min)

3. How am I going to continue to be Happy throughout the rest of the day? Tomorrow? Next week? Next Month?  (3-5 min…future pace out this question, ie  day, tomorrow, next week, month, etc)

When would NOW be a good time to continue to be Happy?

Your life is one great story. Write your own book of happiness, achievement and success. Happiness is contagious and so are smiles. Wear yours proudly!

To your continued Happiness, James

Anyone you know UNHAPPY with their life? Have them call to set up their “Success-Now” session at (919) 792-0085.

 

Your $$ Stress STOPS…3 Wealth Principles to Freedom!

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“Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.” ~Earl Wilson: American journalist & author

Next week is going to be Financial Week on the Evolution for Success Coaching Blog. There are 3-Simple aspects of money and next M-W-F, we will explore each one seperately. Mastery of these 3 Financial Principles will make you rich and wealthy beyond your dreams.

Most people today are living with an underlying fear of either losing their job, not having enough for retirement, or some heightened level of stress due to financial uncertainty. It is pervasive at every level of our society: from the overall US economy, to the individual state governments, to businesses offering less and less incentives along with higer workloads, to the individual families working to put food on the table.

Application and Mastery of these tools will allow you to have all you desire in life.

You can put the food on your table each week and create a secure financial blanket to wrap up in every night and sleep soundly free of stress. This will help to change the community, whichever state you currently live in and help to return this nation to freedom.

Email me at the end of the week to receive your synopsis of the principles and how YOU can put them into action to create unlimited motivation, dedication and commitment to a new financial future.

Tune in next week…you will be surprised with these rich fundamentals.

To your continued success,

James

Can you pass the “Egostistical Business Card” Test? You could be losing money as you read this, right now!

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I am sitting here staring at about 1,000 business cards on my desk and 99.9% of them are what I call “ego” cards. What is an “ego” card? They all have these four traits in common…

1. A nice logo of some sort that the owner of the business card probably loves, (I love mine).
2. The name, title, and contact information of the person I should be contacting.
3. A nice picture of the person who gave me the business card.
4. As a bonus, I even get a nice little slogan or saying.

So, what do those 4 components do for me as a business owner looking to grow my business? NOTHING! I have been looking through the cards all morning and with some of them, I don’t even know what service the business provides. But, I bet they make the person handing out the card feel really good!

ANY business card that doesn’t answer WIIFM (What’s in it for me?) in an EMOTIONAL way, I consider an “ego” card. It’s not beneficial for the prospect, but the person handing it out probably feels pretty good about it!

Take out your business card and ask the following questions:

1. If this sat on a perspective clients desk for a month, would they know what service I provide?
2. Would the client be able to answer “WIIFM?” (What’s In It For Me?)
3. Is there anything on the card that would EMOTIONALLY motivate the person to contact me?
4. Is there anything on the card that tells what problem I solve for their business?
5. What makes me stand out emotionally from all the rest of the… (same owners of my business, i.e. realtors, coaches, etc.)?

They say in marketing that only 7% of the people you meet are ready for your product/service right now. That leaves an interesting question. As a business owner, “How do you keep in front of the 93% so they understand your services and are MOTIVATED to call AND BUY your services when they become part of the 7%?”

Answer: Make an emotional impact by revitalizing your business card wtih your Unique Selling Proposition. This is the number one marketing mistake that most small business owners make. It is a simple, effective and often overlooked critical business tool.

If you need some support to create a new compelling and dynamic busienss card to generate more leads, have people remember you and keep your phone ringing, take a look at my new website.

www.businessmarketingforsuccess.com

Sign up and you will also learn the second and third most overlooked marketing strategies that could be costing you thousands of dollars in revenue.

To your continued $uccess,

James

Happiness Formula Revealed…

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If you are looking for the magic formula for more “HAPPINESS,” look no further. Like all new ways of thinking and believing, they stick around longer when they are anchored into our neurology. Take this 31 day Happiness Challenge everyday in July and see how your life changes in the next month. Here are the steps:

1. Journal:
A. List three problems that you are thankful for (the reasons you are thankful must be to remind you something you know you are in the core of your being or what there is to learn from the problem, the learning of which will empower you with a new belief that will better you. Example, “I am thankful that I am scared to death of making these business cold calls this week because it will help be breakthrough my fear of being good enough, overcome caring so much about what other people think of me, and allow my business to go the next level by brining in clients and revenue so that I can take another vacation and help another person change their life)
B. Journal any other thoughts, ideas or concepts worth nothing and thank your unconscious mind for giving you those ideas and insights (regardless of if they are negative or positive)

2. Exercise: Put some form of physical movement in your day. A minimum of 20-minutes out in the sun for some vitamin D. Anything to get some additional oxygen to your mind and body, get your lymph system going and get those natural feel good drugs released (as my daughter says, “get those ‘indoor-friends’ moving” (endorphins)

3. Meditation: Meditation is proven to support a healthier immune system, relaxation and stress release. To get in the habit I suggest just meditating to your favorite song without words. Or, sit in your car before or after work for as little as just two minutes and clear your mind, practice turning off your brain.

4. Perform one meaningful, random act of kindness. It has to be meaningful which means it involves something that is emotional. An example, everytime I take my kids to McD’s, I ALWAYS put my change and a few dollars in the Ronald McDonald box because I know what they did for one of my clients who they supported when his son needed a brain operation. It immediately fills my heart with thankfulness and I think of the families in need who will have kids in similiar situations and all the good it will do for them.

Feelings need to be cultivated. They need to be cared for, watered, nurtured and supported so they can grow and produce fruit! Try this challenge for 31-days with me and see how it changes your life.

TO your continued success,

James

PS-Email me at James@evolutionforsuccess with the word “Happiness” in the subject line and I will gladly send you a daily “Happiness” form you can use for the month of July.

You have problems, compared to what…?

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Bad Monday

Are you having a bad day? I thought I was one day last week. I was going to be late for an appointment and I was really frustrated since being late is one of my pet peeves. My frustration level grew as I turned off the highway and my forward progress came to a screeching halt. In front of me was an accident and a long line of backed up cars. As I took the detour in front of me, I snapped the picture you see in the post above. An interesting thing happened as I drove past this accident. Somehow, seeing the plight of this truck driver, putting myself in his shoes, and thinking about the phone call he was going to have to make to his boss put my problem (frustrated by being 10 minutes late) into perspective.

One of the greatest questions I ask clients when they are frustrated and angry at a problem in life is, “OK, its bad, but compared to what?” As human beings, it is easy to get wrapped up in OUR life, OUR problems, OUR perspectives, and OUR beliefs. To jumpstart the process of getting a person out of their OWN way so they can work to a solution, just ask, “Compared to what?” When we shift our attention to the plight of others, the challenges of others, the life circumstances of others (that we can relate too) it helps to put things into a different perspective. When you can shift your “referential index,” how you are referring to something, with a different perspective, it lessens the emotional impact so you can think more clear and see the opportunities to think or do something different.

It is not to be used as a justification for NOT doing something different but a means of getting unstuckk so you can find a new solution and take action to achieve a different outcome. Next time you are stuck and think something in your life really stinks…just state the problem and then ask yourself, “Ok, this stinks but compared to what?” So you thought you were having a bad day, compared to what?

In the end, my ten minutes late was nothing compared to the delays this driver faced, his boss faced, and their clients and their customers may have faced. It’s good to keep life in perspective.

If you are feeling stuck and frustrated with your job, career, relationships or finances…CALL today to schedule your Introductory Strategy Session to start moving forward again. (919) 792-0085

To your continued success,

James

Living a Life of Purpose & Meaning

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Last January 31st, U.S. Marine Sgt. William Stacey was killed during his fourth deployment to Afghanistan. Yesterday, his last letter was read to his fellow Marines to commemorate Memorial Day. His dream, his life purpose, was to provide the children of Afghanistan an opportunity to get an education, attend school and achieve something better for their lives.

He wrote, “There will be a child who will live because men left the security they enjoyed in their home to come to his,” Stacey wrote in his letter. “He will have the gift of freedom which I have enjoyed for so long myself, and if my life brings the safety of a child who will one day change the world, then I know that it was all worth it.”

As a veteran, there is nothing quite like the camaraderie experienced while serving this great country. Every soldier has their personal reasons for serving, but a bigger vision, meaning and purpose brings the individuals, families, communities, and branches of service together to form this great nation.

Ghandi stated, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” As individuals in the civilian world, it is critical at the individual level to make sure we live and create our personal vision, meaning and life purpose. We are responsible for having that vision to bring our families, communities and country together. Sometimes, this can be challenging since we are not in a system like the military that more naturally promotes it.

A person’s fulfillment in life comes through having a vision. It can be as simple as the one shared by Sgt. Stacey. Many people struggle to find it, but if you are willing, it is out there waiting for you. You may ask yourself, “Why is it so important to have a vision, a purpose and a meaning for life?” Because living a life of purpose allows you to rise to a challenge, overcome obstacles, feel strong and powerful and make a difference in life.

Sculptor Henry Moore stated, “The secret of life is to have a task, something to devote your entire life to; something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do!” Moore’s task was to be the greatest sculptor every known and know it!

And sometimes, in order to bring the world, a country, and a community together; all it takes is the courage and conviction of one person. A person who lives a life based on values of freedom, duty, selflessness and sacrifice in service of others.

As Steven Chandler states in his book, Fearless, “Courage inspires…even the courage of a fearless, impossible vision.” One person can make a difference in this world if they are true to their purpose, live fearless, and live a life devoted to a task they can’t complete. Because in the end, they may just do it!

Thank you to every veteran who has served this great country and to those who gave us the gift of freedom with their life.

If you know the vision, purpose and meaning for your life, I would love to read about it below. If you are still searching, call today for your complimentary strategy session. (919) 792-0085

Searching for your life purpose? Call 919-792-0085 for a free strategy session!

There is a Miracle Pill after all…

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The next time you are sick and need to go to the doctor, try this miracle pill.  Although it is not yet approved by the FDA and not covered by insurance, it is still an amazing drug.

This miracle drug:

  • Releases endorphins in your body which are natural pain killers, they also boost your bodies’ natural immune system
  • Improves your blood circulation by naturally elevating your heart rate and blood pressure, which in turn, help to stimulate your heart and lungs
  • Improves oxygen flow into the bloodstream causing an natural increase in energy, mental clarity, and focus
  • And while you’re on it, it burns 78 times more calories than when you’re sitting at your normal resting heart rate

So, how much would you pay for an over the counter drug that provides all of that? Well, good news, it is FREE! Yes, FREE!

And NO, I’m not talking about exercise!

You know the old saying, “Laughter is the best medicine?” Literally, it is! The magic pill is laughter.

If you want to break the ice at work, learn a new joke. If you want to bring the family together, watch America’s Funniest Home Videos together. If you need to impress that special someone, nothing makes a date better than sharing a good laugh. If you want to increase the quality of your life, especially in these times, lighten up and laugh more.

Just to illustrate my point, when was the last time you had a really hard belly laugh? Can you even remember? Finding, telling, and mastering the art of telling good, honest, clean jokes can be learned by anyone! You will naturally become the hit of the party, improve your relationships and attract people to you while having FUN doing it!

“By the way, did you see the church bulletin last week? It read, “Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Memorial Church. Come tonight and hear Berth Belch all the way from Africa.”

 ~OR~

“A student was asked if he knew what Roe vs. Wade was all about. He answered that he thought it was the decision George Washington had to make when he decided to cross the Delaware.”

~Jokes taken from “Healing through Humor,” by Charles Francis Hunter

Do you have some favorite jokes you’d like to share?  Post them below, we want to hear them!

A Great Reminder from Steve Jobs & Apple Computer

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The other day my daughter was telling me how proud she was of herself because she knows how to “divide by 2.” So I responded, “did you know you are brilliant, like Einstein?” Her response was, “even more!” I just laughed and told her she was right!

Apple Computers stated once,

“The crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules and have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them, because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.”

A lot of people are worried about the world now. But keep in mind, as always, there are people who get rich when the economy is down and people who go broke in an up economy. Now is the time to be a little crazy, a little bit of a rebel, or a troublemaker.

There is opportunity out there but it is like the last few minutes of an Easter Egg hunt. The eggs that were out in the open and easy to see have been taken. The opportunities are left for those who keep looking, don’t give up and think outside the box.

Stay associated to your goals, dreams, and visions. Trust yourself and keep the faith.  Let go of the “what ifs” and focus on what’s within your control and influence.  And Keep taking consistent action toward your goal.  No matter how small.

The end of the quote goes,

“the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

Be bold –whether in your thinking or in your actions! What might appear outlandish to others could be sheer genius!

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Seen Any Superheroes in Tights Lately?

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What is it about the resurgence of the Marvel Superheroes and their box office successes?

Over the past years, I have seen the Batman movies, a couple of the Spiderman, Iron Man and even the latest movie, Thor. None of them really got me excited until Captain America hit the big screen this weekend!

Captain America, seen in his Red, White and Blue outfit and bullet proof shield, got my blood pumping again. I never had a lot of comic books as a kid, but I did have Captain America! Perhaps with all of the troubles in the world, it is good to see a hero that truly represents positive ideals and is willing to fight for his country.

Maybe I like him because he is so patriotic and puts his country over his own needs. In our political climate today, that is so important and I really want to believe in our country turning this tough corner.

Maybe it is the fact that there are not a lot of great role models for today’s youth that are based in truth, honor, and the old fashioned American Way. Whatever the case, or a combination of all of them, I purchased an old picture of the original Captain A, and put him on the wall in my office.

Some things in life just seem to breed goodness, and in my mind and heart, Captain America embodies those ideals. America needs someone fighting for her today.

Captain America lives in every entrepreneur who is fighting to create jobs. He is in every policeman, firefighter, and military service member. If every person in the country was willing to give more to the country than themselves, I am sure things would be very different, very quickly.

Captain America just Rocks. He wears the simple Red, White, and Blue of the country he loves and is willing to fight for. He believes in good versus evil and chooses the harder path of Good. That is what makes him powerful and so likable in my mind.

I hope that youth today latch on to the traits and persona of Captain A as much as I did. We all need some heroes these days to keep us inspired, motivated, and focusing on the good in life.

And, if my Superhero had to fight one of the modern day comic heroes of today’s youth, I would still bet my paycheck on Captain America. He could take down Captain Underpants anytime, anyplace, any day!

 

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Lessons from John D. Rockefeller Jr.

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Having a vision and showing Perseverance paid off for RockefellerWe just returned from a great 5-day trip to the “Big Apple” and found that it is truly, the city that never sleeps!

New York is such a wonderful city; full of history, lore, and energy. On our itinerary was Rockefeller Center.

This famous landmark was developed by John D Rockefeller Jr and was originally supposed to house the Metropolitan opera. But, when the Stock Market crashed in 1929, the deal fell through and the building was almost never built.

Rockefeller had a tough decision to make. In the end, he chose to move forward and personally funded the entire project without any planned tenants. A bold move!

As the construction of the tower progressed, it created over 7,500 jobs for almost 10 years smack in the middle of the Great Depression. It became a landmark and a symbol of hope in a time of great adversity and hardship. Eventually, Rockefeller found his first tenant, and Radio City Music Hall was born.

I found it ironic that when we went in for the tour and climb to the Top of the Rock, as it is called, it was bright and sunny. But by the time we reached the observation deck, a very powerful downpour had ensued and the visibility dropped to a few hundred feet.

As we worked through our disappointment of not getting any pictures of Central Park, the Empire State Building or a dramatic sunset, something amazing happened. After about fifteen minutes, the storm dissipated. The suns rays broke through the clouds, and it seemed as if the light of heaven shone through on the New York City skyline. We were rewarded with a full double rainbow over Manhattan! Spectacular!

Of course many factors played a part in John D. Rockefeller, Jr.’s success in this project. But above all, he had a vision and a dream that extended beyond himself.

Before riding the elevator to the top, there is an interpretation of a Bible verse Rockefeller lived by:

“Unto he who much is given, much shall be required.”

Rockefeller exemplified and lived this philosophy. He was resolute and forged ahead in the middle of the Depression, with no guarantee of a tenant for the building. And in the end, he made his vision come to life.

We have all been given much, in terms of our own special gifts and talents. And in fact, much shall be required of us to create a life of purpose and meaning –even when things are hard or uncertain; especially then.

It is true life stories like Rockefeller Center’s history that make New York such a special place. They exemplify living a life on your own terms, having dreams, and making them come true.

Build your own skyscraper today!!! and enjoy the view; others will too!

 

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More great movie quotes

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A couple of weeks ago, I talked about my favorite movie quotes from the trilogy, “The Matrix.” Thank you for all of the emails and replies with your favorite movie quotes. I wanted to share those this week since the response was so overwhelming.  Here are some of the best ones!
  • “You think everybody else is the problem, but you’re the problem, Annie. You’re the solution too.” ~Bridesmaids
  • “The question is not what are we going to do, the question is what aren’t we going to do?” ~Ferris Bueller
  • “I told you I would always come for you. Why didn’t you wait for me?   Well… you were dead. Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.” …and… “We’ll never survive. Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.” ~Princess Bride
  • “As God is my witness, they’re not going to lick me. I’m going to live through this and when it’s all over, I’ll never be hungry again.   ~Gone with the Wind
  • “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”  ~Shawshank Redemption
  • “Show me the money!”   ~Jerry Maguire
  • “I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubble gum.” ~They Live
And here are two of my other all-time favorites!
  • “So we finish 18 and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”~Caddyshack
  • “What? Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”  ~Animal House
I hope these made you smile.  Have a fantastic week!

Everything I need in life I learned from "The Matrix"

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Everyone loves a great movie and once in a while, a movie comes along that has the right amount of action, character development, intrigue and a REAL MESSAGE in it. 


The Matrix trilogy is 100% based in the psychology of personal responsibility, choice, and the belief that we create our reality. Here are some great lines from the movie that all contain a messages of empowerment, personal choice and our ability to create the life that we desire.

  • It is a good idea to keep in mind that everything you know could be wrong.
  • In life, there isn’t just one matrix, there are many. Meaningless work, TV and corrosive relationships just to name three. How many of them “have” you?
  • Even a hero can get scared, drop his phones off the side of a building and give up. He just doesn’t let it end that way.
  • Sometimes everything hangs by a single decision: red pill or blue pill. But often that critical choice isn’t always so obvious. It could come at any time. It could be right now.
  • What are you waiting for? You’re faster than this. Don’t think you are…know you are. Come on! Stop trying to hit me and hit me!
  • You have to let it all go, Neo: Fear, Doubt, Disbelief. Free…your…mind.
  • When it comes to leaping from skyscraper to skyscraper, everyone falls the first time. It doesn’t mean anything.
  • I have these memories from my life. None of them happened. What does that mean? That the Matrix can not tell you who you are.
  • Sorry kid. You’ve got the gift. But it looks like you are waiting for something.
  • There’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
  • I didn’t come here to tell you how it is going to end. I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to hang up this phone and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world without you: a world without controls, without borders or boundaries, a world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is up to you.

So, what are your favorite movie lines? How about, “Oh Captain, my Captain!” (Dead Poet’s Society) “Freedom!” (Braveheart) and one of my all time favorites, “Be the ball!” (Caddyshack).  I would love to hear yours!


Until next time!


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My Pet Black Widow –The Power of Choice

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A client once told me at the end of a coaching session, “you must never have any problems in life!”

Since the first day of my coaching training I was taught that emotional state management is vital during every coaching session. I took his statement as a compliment in that I showed up “in state” for our coaching sessions, however, nothing could be farther from the truth. When it comes to my own life and problems, I am my own best coaching client.

That memory was triggered this weekend as I was out watering my grass. Here in North Carolina we water our grass weekly in an effort to keep it alive during the hot and humid summer months. Every Sunday I do a deep watering and in one corner of the lawn, in a small green telephone hub lives a big black widow. She is absolutely beautiful; dark black with bright red markings on her abdomen.

We have developed an interesting relationship over the last month. At first, my immediate thought was to kill her. She could be very dangerous if the kids got a little too inquisitive. I really did not want to do that but how do you relocate a black widow? My next line of defense was to just water the heck out of her web and see if she would eventually get the hint and relocate on her own.

Guess what? After weeks of wrecking her web, she just rebuilds. That is the problem. No matter how many times I tear down her web she just continues to rebuild. After all, that is what spiders do. They know who they are and it does not matter what happens to their web, they really don’t care. She just reacts, takes action, and rebuilds.

I wish in some ways, when it came to my own problems and challenges, I could be like that black widow. There would never have to be a reason “why” something was the way it was, there would be no focus on what I may lose or have just lost, and no worry or uncertainties about what the future held; I would just react, take action and build.

In a way that could be possible. I could be more like her. In order to react to situations instinctively, I would just have to be very aware of who I am, what my strengths are, wait patiently for something to happen and react. If a fly became trapped, dinner would be served, and then I would get to work building again! If someone or something outside of my control and influence came along and wrecked everything I had just built, I would just get to work rebuilding. There would not be any emotions involved.

Somewhere in the process of reacting to the events around me without having to think or feel, there would be something missing though. I think that life would almost have no purpose or meaning. I think that I would miss thinking about things, exploring options, growing and being able to celebrate success. I think that, as a spider, I would miss being able to choose how I wanted to act and react to life around me.

Maybe having problems and challenges is not so bad after all. There are other upsides to being human too. I don’t really have to worry about getting eaten by my mate!

So, I think I will just keep the black widow as a reminder that thinking a little too much about things is not healthy. Balancing thinking with action towards what I choose to build and create works just fine for me. Choice is one of the greatest gifts in life.

Spiders and Personal Results Coaches all have problems and challenges in life. Choosing how we are going to react to them and take action is the difference between the two. I am probably the only one on the block with a pet Black Widow. She reminds me every week that I always have a choice in life –and so do you. Choose wisely this week how you are going to act and react as you travel down the road ahead.

JULY SPECIAL: ONLY 2 Weeks Left!!

COACHING Special: Fast Track for Success in JULY for only $199!!

BONUS: Sign up in July & receive your FREE 2-CD set “Maintaining Massive Momentum CD with audio transcript!” (A $19.99 value)

Here is an example of one of my client’s success last month with the Fast Track Program.

“I have to say that my clothes are already starting to feel much looser. I wore a jacket to church on Sunday and I could already tell that the jacket was much looser. I am also starting to wear several shirts that had just gotten too tight for me but are now starting to fit much better.

Regardless of the weigh-in tomorrow I would say that this program has been a huge success. I was 201.4 at the beginning of the month and I have lost nearly 9 pounds so far. Given the fact that I was completely out of the loop for two weeks with regards to physical activity – one week because of a sinus infection and one week because of surgery, this was mostly achieved through practicing good self-control on the eating front. I am still trying to hit 190 by the end of this week. Also, the only time I have lost weight in the past is when I was on a diet (I have tried several over the years) or on a physical fitness plan…….so, to me, to accomplish this without a “diet” mentality is actually a bigger win than just about anything else. I also noticed this AM that I have much more energy that I did at the beginning of the month.

I have now set a new goal to hit 183 by July 31st…. I am actually confident that I can achieve this goal using this method that we have used here.”

At weigh-in the next morning at the completion of the 30-days with the Fast Track to Success Plan…

“I was at 191.8 this morning…..So, I have lost a total of over 9 1/2 pounds in the last 30 days! I am feeling great! My goals are set for today!”

Thanks,

J.S.

Are you looking to jump start your weight loss for spring, take control of your finances, build a better relationship or take the next step in your career? The Fast Track for Success program allows you to focus on making those consistent changes daily for you to get what you want by making “small deposits every day.” Most of us overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten.

For only $199 you get a specialized, 6-Step program personalized to achieve your goal.
Step 1: Complete the Pre-Call Worksheet for a single goal
Step 2: 30-minute Coaching session to set up new strategies for success
Step 3: You send me a daily email or voicemail with the top 3-5 specific things you are committed to do that day to reach your monthly goal. I will personally respond to every email or voicemail with helpful tips, hints, and strategies to overcome your challenges you have along the way
Step 4: After the completion of week 2, a 15-minute check-in call to measure and monitor your success.
Step 5: Repeat Step 3
Step 6: 15-Minute Celebration Call to re-enforce the changes you have made and revise strategies for continued success.

The bottom line is that most people are excited to start a goal for 24-48 hours before the emotional high wears off but it takes 17-21 days to develop a new habit.

I invite you to experience more success in a single month than you have had in the first two quarters of this year. Success can be yours for only $5 per day, M-F. The only reason you won’t call to achieve the life of your dreams is because of time and money. How many calls and emails do you make in a day? Make one that will change your life! Where else are you guaranteed to experience results and create what you most want in life? Put your investment to good use–on yourself!

How to save a Drowning Rat!

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Would you be interested in knowing “HOW” to save a drowning rat?

There has not been much positive news for the past couple of years. The media seems intent on presenting everything noteworthy that is the opposite of empowering or positive.  …unemployment, foreclosures, budget cuts; it’s all around us.  Even putting the media aside, when we look at our personal lives, at our neighbors, family or friends, it’s clear that for many this is a stressful time.

By now, you probably want to quit reading this and get back to the news – after all, it is more cheery than my Thought of the Week! My mood is becoming depressed just writing about this. However, I may have a suggestion that may help us all cope with the negativity, But how does this relate to saving a drowning rat?

There was an experiment conducted where scientists put a single rat in a container it could not get out of and then filled it with water. They placed the container in a completely dark room, and timed how long the rat swam before it drowned. How long do you think it swam? Well, it lasted a little more than 3 minutes.

For the second part of the experiment, they placed a rat in the same container in the same room with the same water level, but this time they had a bright beam of light shine into the darkness for the rat to see. Guess how long the rat lasted before it finally drowned? This time it swam for over 36 hours.

When I was in US Army Airborne School, the Army Chaplain said a prayer with us before we loaded up for our first parachute jump. He stated that we had nothing to worry about, as the jump field we were about to fly over was the most holy place in Georgia. According to the chaplain, more people prayed flying over that small piece of land than anywhere else in the state. He encouraged us to add our little part to the holiness of the jump field site.

In life, if someone wants the identity of being an honest person, they have to experience a moment where the opportunity to steal is present and choose not too. If you want to be a person who is able to find new opportunities as we work through the changes in our world right now, you are going to be tested. We are all being tested, NOW.

It is hope, faith, and optimism that keep us from giving up when things seem hopeless, that keep us believing in opportunity and the promise for a better tomorrow. That is what brings us through dark times when we feel like we are swimming for our very survival. That is what makes the difference between making it 3 minutes or 36 hours, 3 days or 36 days, 36 weeks or the next 36 years. A person of faith is such because they have been tested and overcome. That is what gives you the courage to jump into a new experience, be a person of character, and keep swimming when everything around you seems dark.

What is the beam of light that gives you hope, faith, and optimism? Now is the time, more than ever, to feed your mind positive messages, drop on your knees and say a prayer, do whatever you can that will strengthen your sense of faith and hope for a better tomorrow.

There are always two things we can focus on; the darkness or the light. Engage in finding new opportunities. Engage your mind in what is bright and good. In order to focus on the light we need to engage our sense of hope and faith in a better tomorrow. I know you can last a lot longer than you think. Keep Swimming.