Who is in Control?
Who is in Control?
Question: You choose to finish a job or task at work and feel a great sense of accomplishment afterwards, or you are walking down the street and all of a sudden you remember something and it makes you so sad: Are you in control of your emotions or are your emotions in control of you?
First off, we are in control of our emotional states. By CHOOSING to take a specific action, we CHOOSE the meaning of the event. For example, by choosing to go out walking this morning, I chose that walking would allow me to feel happy, energetic, alive and vibrant. A different person may choose to go walking and decide it meant pain, suffering, and frustration. We control out emotional states by the meaning that we attach to all of life’s experiences!
At the same time, there will always be external events that happen to us that will trigger unresolved emotional issues from the past. These unresolved issues grow over time and get larger and larger and larger. Negative emotional states are positive because they tell us where our emotions and rational thoughts are in conflict.
Our emotional states are in a constant tug of war. People work to have more positive intense emotional states (happiness, love, success) while negative emotional states (frustration, overwhelm, sadness) keep popping up, seemingly out of control.
In creating more positive emotional states remember: MOTION CREATES EMOTION. When you engage your mind and your body positive things happen! My personal drug of choice: Endorphins! So, put on those great songs, sing at the top of your lungs, be outrageous in your own way, move your body and create a stronger you with more physical movement.
In order to decrease the disempowering emotional moments:
1. Identify the negative emotion that is present (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.)
2. Ask: “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly?”
3. Once you understand the meaning and what there is to learn from it, CHOOSE TO TAKE AN IMMEDIATE ACTION AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT that will allow the better feelings to come out! (in this moment most people will not want to do something different because it is easier to stay in a negative emotional pattern, but the key to success is in taking an choosing a new action and meaning in order to break through the problem and let go of the negative emotion)
4. Celebrate your new meaning and action to anchor in the new state!
It is never too late to engage the process. Success happens when the amount of time it takes to clear up the conflict and move from disempowering states to positive ones decreases.
Celebrate all of your emotional states. Celebrate the ones that you choose to create for yourself and celebrate the ones that are triggered by your external environment. Find the reason for the state and take action to control your emotional life!
If you want more out of your emotional life, call today for your free 15 minute coaching session on how to create positive emotional states. Have a real life experience of it today! (480) 820-4072
To your continued success,
James
